Blood of Thy Enemy
by PrincessofFireflies
Summary: Johanna and Joffrey Baratheon shared a love forbidden by all. She did not care if their love was a secret, nothing would ever change the way she felt for him. She had known of her impending betrothal from the time she was six, and ten years later the time arrived for her wedding. Johanna swore no man would gain her love, it all belonged to Joffrey. She belonged to Joffrey.
1. Prologue

**Author's note: So this was an idea that I got while I was away on vacation. I wrote the prologue while away, and decided to upload it.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Game of thrones. I own Johanna.**

 **Prologue.**

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Johanna

Johanna Baratheon was a Princess and she understood her place. She loved her family and she understood her role as the eldest daughter of a King. She would one day be set to marry a noble Lord who her father saw fit, but she hoped her mother would spare her such horrors. She prayed each night to the Seven for her mother to keep her home, sheltered in the walls of the Red Keep. But she knew her father would never allow that, he would force her from the castle if it killed him.

"You will bring a great union to the realm." Is what he would tell her as he skirted the subject of her betrothal. Johanna had been told of her betrothal at the tender age of six, and ever since she could only wonder who her father had picked for her. It had been decided upon at her birth, and even at sixteen her mother still fought the subject.

Despite knowing she was promised to another Jolana still found love in the arms of someone else. She had spent years hoping, and dreaming that she would love someone known to her. She did not wish to marry a stranger, and now that she had found love she did not wish to lose it.

When Johanna felt helpless, when she felt that her love would only end in sadness she would seek comfort in other things. She enjoyed her lessons, and she loved learning her needlework. Her Septa told her she got better with each passing day, which always managed to bring a smile to her face. She would walk the gardens with her twin brother, Joffrey. She found most of her comfort in him. He took care of her, sheltered her from the horrors that took place outside the walls of the Red Keep. He had always been her protector.

Though Johanna felt most of her comfort in her twin, she still enjoyed the company of her younger siblings. Myrcella and Tommen were adorable children who looked up to her. She found the company of children splendid, they had such imaginations and wild fantasies. Her mother always told her she would one day make a great mother, and Johanna only hoped it could be true. She longed to be half the mother her own was or the woman she was named for.

Johanna's name was taken from that of her mother's mother, Joanna Lannister. As Johanna grew she was slowly growing into the woman she was named for. Long Golden hair that fell in soft waves, and beautiful green eyes. She had the face of her mother, and her grandmother with beauty to match them both. Though Johanna believed her mother to be the most beautiful woman in all the Seven Kingdoms, her brother had disagreed.

Joffrey was always by her side, or more that Johanna was always by his side. They would walk in the gardens, share all their meals together and only when she had to leave for lessons were they separated. Their mother would joke that they would be together from womb to tomb but Johanna knew it would not be true. One day her father's plan would come into action and Johanna would be sent away from her home. She would soon be far from Jof, far from the only man she would ever love.

Johanna knew the love she felt for her twin was forbidden by the Seven, forbidden by everyone, but she did not care. She loved Joffrey and he loved her, but he bid her to keep it a secret. She did for their sake, she knew no one would understand. Her family would shun them both and others would look upon them as if they were inhuman. Every gentle touch, every kiss they shared was a secret and Johanna had grown to hate it. Love was something beautiful, it should have been shared with the world. She knew that one day it would end, and she would be forced to marry the man she was promised to. She would never love any man her father forced upon her, Jof was the only man Johanna would love.

Her father was not a cruel man, but he knew nothing of his children. He never took the time to know them, or learn what they wanted. He cared only for drinking, and sleeping with women who were not his wife. Johanna knew of her father's promiscuity, but there was nothing she could do to stop him. She was just a young girl, and although she was his daughter, his anger would not be lost on her. He failed as a King, as a husband and as a father.

Whenever Johanna felt abandoned by her father she would seek the comfort of a father somewhere else. Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King, was always kind to her and quick to give her kind advice but he was not blood. Her Uncle Jaime was the closest thing she had to a real father figure. He was stern with her, cared for her and loved her. He was her mother's twin, and their bond close. He would agree with most everything her mother said for her to do, guiding her to a sheltered life. When she could not find her Uncle Jaime she sought out her Uncle Tyrion. Though her mother did not care for her dwarf uncle, Johanna did. The man always made her laugh and smile

Johanna had a family, a great family, and she had a home neither of which she was willing to sacrifice for some great union. She did not believe any marriage her father could plan would bring her anything but bitter feelings. Despite her feelings Johanna had a duty to her family and to the crown, she could not let them down.


	2. Winterfell

**Author's note: Here is the first official chapter! I want to warn that the first few chapters coming up may have some darker themes, we all know Joffrey isn't a saint. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thank you for follows, favorites and the review I appreciate them all.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones or anything that comes from it. I own Johanna. Lyrics below are from "Wildest Dreams" By Taylor Swift**

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" _He's so tall, handsome as hell_

 _He's so bad but he does it so well_

 _I can see the end as it begins_

 _My one condition is.._

 _Say you'll remember me."_

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 **Chapter 1: Winterfell**

 **Johanna's P.o.v**

"Johanna, are you ready?" Joffrey had given up on knocking before entering her room, especially on the road.

The royal family was headed north with a large caravan of people. They had spent almost a month on the road, riding farther and farther from home. A month traveling north on the frozen road to the wild places that lay beyond the neck. She had pleaded with her mother for days to let her stay behind, to let her stay in the castle walls. Her mother would have caved, Johanna saw it in her eyes, but her damned father insisted. He told her it was time she met her betrothed, that was truly the last thing Johanna wanted.

As her twin brother shut the door behind him Johanna was thankful Myrcella had left the room earlier. She did not wish for her sister to be caught up in the moment she would no doubt be sharing with their brother.

"I did not expect you, brother."

Johanna was fresh from a bath, her hair and body still dripping water onto the stone floor. She shooed away her handmaiden so she could be alone with her brother. She watched her brother's eyes travel down her naked body, lingering on her breasts just a moment longer than the rest of her.

"My sweet sister,I just wanted to make sure you were ready for the final ride." He spoke softly as the handmaiden excused herself from them.

Once the handmaiden was gone Johanna let a smile grace her small lips, her brother looked upon her with such desire. His green eyes were clouded with lust, and she watched his body stiffen as he looked at her naked form longer. She blushed, always too shy for her own good, always too docile.

"I shall be ready soon." They were six hours from Winterfell.

"Let me help you."

She knew his intention was not to help her dress but to run his hands across her body. Johanna did not mind though, she liked the gentle touch of her brother. He was rarely rough with her, and when he was a simple kiss made her forgive him. He loved her as a man should love a woman, and she knew that no one would ever treat her the same way again. He gently ran a towel across her dripping body, his fingers grazing her breasts lightly.

"I can't imagine we have much time, Joff." She knew they would be looking for them.

"I know, my love." He placed a kiss upon her neck before helping her slip into her small clothes.

She dressed herself the rest of the way, slipping into a beautiful red dress as her brother watched her. Johanna was being forced to dress in her best dress, in honor of her future husband. She wished she could have worn one of her other dresses, something less beautiful. The red dress clung to her body, and showed off her newly gained curves. Her breasts almost spilled from the dress when it was tied properly, and it was something she had saved for only the best feasts. This new man did not deserve it.

"You look breath taking, my love." Joff placed a kiss on her lips.

"Thank you." She took his hand as they made their way from the room, neither eager for the ride to Winterfell.

Winterfell was a cold place, a frozen land she only heard of in her father's drunken tales. It was the home of the Warden of the North, Lord Eddard Stark. The man had once been her father's best friend, the man who helped her father win the throne on which he now ruled from. She heard many things of Lord Eddard, some from her father and other tales from her Uncle Jaime. He was claimed to be an honorable man, but unwise. To the Starks honor came before all and even Johanna knew that was unwise. Blood was what would win the wars, blood was what was the key to everything. Honor was all well and good but blood was what would gain you what you wished for.

Her father did not only speak of Lord Eddard in his tales, he also spoke of Lyanna. She was a girl Johanna's father had once loved and been promised to. Before her mother, Lyanna was the woman in her father's life, and even after he wed Cersei she still seemed to be the one on his mind. Johanna knew her father loved the woman but she was dead and he should have focused on the ones in front of him. He was a bitter fool.

The King painted the Starks in gold, speaking only on how honorable they were. Johanna listened for a month as her father went on about the golden years he shared with Eddard Stark, and how he was a just man. All Starks were honoroable, kind and gentle people, or so he would tell them. Johanna did not know if she believed him because her mother's tales of the Starks were different. She pained them in grey, cold frozen grey. She was of the south, as was Johanna, a true woman who had no place north of the Neck. To her mother the Stark family were stone hearted and cold creatures who had no place in their lives.

"The North is filled with wicked wild men, my love." That was what her mother told her when she asked about the people they would encounter.

Johanna had no wish to be in the company of wild people, she wanted to be in her home. Her father demanded they all go with him on his journey. Jon Arryn had passed and her father was in search of a new Hand of the king. He had his eyes set on Eddard Stark, much to her mother's displeasure, and as they journeyed north Johanna learned of her father's other motives for the trip.

"I don't wish to marry this boy." Joffrey was helping Johanna on her horse when she spoke again.

"It will all work out, sweet sister." He let his touch linger on her thigh for just a moment too long.

She rode beside him, occasionally glancing over to watch him. Joffrey's hair shone bright in the sunlight, and his green eyes were filled with laughter as he looked upon her. She sometimes felt like she was the only one who could tame the wild beast inside of him. Her Uncle Tyrion had once told her she stole on the kindness in the womb while her brother devoured all the cruelty. She could see it, she could see where he found such a belief. Joffrey had a streak of cruelty in him, one that had brought Johanna chills, but he always apologized to her for his misgivings. Johanna forgave him without thought, she was too kind for her own good.

She knew better than to judge people before she met them, but her mother's words were worth their weight in gold. She trusted the woman's judgment and she knew that whatever she would encounter in the North it would not be what she wished for. She was going to be married to the eldest son of Lord Eddard Stark. A boy a year her senior, a boy she had never once met or spoken of. She imagined a horrid beast of a boy, as tall as the mountain and as frightening as the Hound. She would always want Joffrey over a wild stranger.

"I have something for you." A horse was ridden up beside the twins, their Uncle upon the steed.

"And way pray tell Uncle Jaime could you have for me?"

Johanna smiled upon her uncle, he was always kind to her. Her uncle loved her and Johanna loved him just the same.

"An early wedding gift."

Her uncle held out a hand to her opening his palm to revel a small golden trinket. It was a necklace with a pendent in the shape of a lion, the house sigil of her mother's family. She took the trinket in her hand with a smile, she was grateful.

"Thank you, Uncle Jaime."

"May you never forget the blood the flows through your veins, my dear."

She would never forget where she had come from, no matter who she married. Lannister blood flowed through her veins, and that was something she would never let change. The cold frozen blood of the northerners would never changer her, never.

She held the necklace tight in her grasp as she pulled on the reins of her horse. She was in no rush to push on to Winterfell but she needed to catch up to Jof. He had pulled ahead of her, and she wanted to be beside him for as long as she could. She heard her brother let out a laugh as she caught up to him, his eyes meeting hers for a moment. She loved being beside him, and she wished she could take his hand but she knew it that was not possible as they rode. She settled for sharing a gaze between each other, sharing secrets only they knew.

They made one stop before they reached Winterfell, Johanna wished they could have stayed in that spot forever. Her mother pleaded with her daughter to ride in the wheelhouse with her, but Johanna refused. She would not leave her brother's side until she had to. She did not care that her dress got messy, or that her hair would blow in the wind. She would not remove herself from her brother just to be proper for her soon to be husband. She knew her mother would have argued but she knew how important the twins were to one another.

As they rode closer to Winterfell Johanna felt herself begin to shiver, and she regretted not taking the shawl her mother had offered her. The wind was blowing her hair around her face, hiding the tears the fell from her eyes as they saw the impending grey stones of Winterfell. She was so cold she wondered if the tears would freeze to her face, but no such thing happened to young Johanna.

She felt another chill over take her as they rode through the small town approaching the tall walls of Winterfell. Everything was grey and black. Johanna felt like a great contrast to the world she had entered in her red dress, a splash a color among the darkness. She was used to the light colors of the walls of Kings Landing, the bright colors of the garden and the Keep made of stone the color of blood. Winterfell was bleak, grey and so unwelcoming to her. She wished to turn her horse around and go home.

"Do you think that is him?" Joff helped Johanna off her horse as they entered the courtyard.

Her gaze had landed on a boy standing beside his father. He was not nearly as horrid as she had imagined and he could have been quite attractive if she wished him to be.

"We shall see, my dear." Joff touched the necklace placed upon her neck. The lion pendent fell at the swell of her breasts and his fingers touched them as his hand retreated.

"Joffrey." Johanna felt her body flush.

Her brother did not speak a word but a smirk fell upon his lips as he took her hand. She held his hand tightly as they stood beside their Uncle Jaime. She smiled at her uncle as he father attempted to dismount his horse. Johanna remembered a time years ago when her father was as fit as any knight in the Seven Kingdoms. He had fought back a rebellion, but the lack of wars had made her father fat. He no longer fought, instead he would drink and find himself wrapped up in a whore. As her father approached the family all lined in a row, Johanna let herself gaze upon the Starks.

The Lord looked as cold as stone, until he smiled but even then she saw no real joy in his grey eyes. His wife beside him was much different, and for a moment Johanna was in awe of the woman. Her mother was not doubt the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms, but Lady Stark had to be a close second. Her hair was auburn, smooth as silk and Johanna could see her beautiful blue eyes from the distance. To the other side of the Lord was the boy she had asked Joffrey about. She did not doubt he was the eldest son, standing only a hair shorter than Joffrey, but inches taller than herself. He had auburn curls upon his head, and as she looked at him his blue eyes clashed against her green eyes. They shared a gaze for a moment but the boy's stare was too intense for Johanna. She quickly shifted to the children on at his side.

A young girl with red hair stood beside him, her eyes fixed on Joffrey. Johanna felt a pang of jealousy as he smiled back at the young girl. She did not wish for Joffrey to feed into the fantasies of some young, simple girl. Next to the red head was a dark haired girl, who looked as if she wanted to be anywhere else. As Johanna's father regarded the dark haired girl she heard her give a quick hello, informal at it's best. The last two children were young boys of both looking fidgety. Johanna could only imagine that they wished to be anywhere but standing there watching some King arrive. Looking at the young ones brought a small smile to Johanna's face, she only hoped they were not yet stone hearted.

"Johanna, come here."

Johanna was dragged from her inspection of the family by her father's voice. She held tightly to her brother for a moment as every eye in the courtyard turned to her. She stood stiff, unwilling to let go of Joffrey.

"Girl, now." Her father's temper was rising.

She looked to her twin who just let go of her hand giving her a calm smile. She still stood frozen until a gentle hand was placed upon her shoulder.

"Go on, Johanna." Her Uncle's calm voice pushed her forward.

Johanna gripped her skirt in her hands as she made her way toward the family standing before her. They all wore cloaks of grey rimmed with fur, and they looked upon her with cold eyes. Johanna did not want this to become her new family.

"Ned, this is my eldest daughter Johanna."

"Lord Stark, Lady Stark." Johanna bowed her head before the two. She may have been a Princess, royalty, but she knew to show respect to the Wardens. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"It is our pleasure as well, Princess Johanna."

It was Lady Stark who spoke, her voice as calm as a southern wind. Now that Johanna stood before them she saw that the Lady's eyes were filled with life. She heard her father speak more with Lord Stark but Johanna's eyes were fixed on the Lady. She wondered if she would find any kindness in her, or if it was truly as her mother spoke.

"And this is our eldest son, Robb."

Johanna felt herself be tugged to the boy next to Lord Stark. He was the boy with intense blue eyes. She felt small standing before him, he was much larger than she thought he was from a distance. Joffrey was lean, with barley any muscle to him but this boy had the budding muscles of a man.

"My Lord." Johanna bowed her head and placed her hand in the boy's outstretched palm.

"Princess." His voice was soft, formal and practiced.

As he brought her knuckles to his soft lips Johanna felt her brother's gaze piercing her back. She had learned the feel of Joffrey's stare over the many years of being together. She knew what he was feeling, jealousy.

"My Queen."

Johanna turned from the boy before her to look at her mother. She looked tired, but even from the trip she was beautiful. Johanna smiled as she watched her mother act as her regal self, never bowing before anyone that was not above her.

"Ned, we shall give our two children a moment together. I wish to be taken to the crypts."

Johanna knew what her father sought in the crypts, everyone knew. Lyanna. The dead woman he could not let go of, the dead woman he was trying to replace. She knew what her union to the Stark boy was, a chance at something he lost long ago, uniting his house with Lord Stark's. She was not Lyanna, she would not bring her father the happiness he wished for.

"We have been riding for a month, my love, surely we should rest."

Johanna watched her mother give her father a look but she knew he would not care. Her father ignored her, his demeanor becoming cold. Johanna knew nothing would stop her father from seeing the tomb of Lyanna, not even her mother. As her father walked away with Lord Stark, Johanna turned to look at Joffrey. Her brother's face was blank but Johanna saw the anger in his eyes, and she knew what would come from that anger.

"Princess, shall we walk?" She knew the young Lord was being polite but she took his arm, she knew better than to argue.

She had linked her arm with the man she was to marry, but she did not speak to him as they began their walk. The air was chilly, and Johanna wished she had packed better for the trip. She knew none of her dresses were meant for the northern weather, she was meant for the south. Johanna did not even look up at the man, she kept her eyes fixed on their surrounding. The grey stones loomed above her like a tomb, she would be trapped in this place for the rest of her life.

The boy lead her to a glass enclosure, and Johanna could see splashes of color inside. When he opened the door she felt the warmth flow from the place, filling her with joy. She was not longer shivering as she entered and her eyes caught sight of the most beautiful flower she had ever seen. They were the lightest color of blue, and she instantly drawn to the flower. She had never seen a rose of that color before, she had spent most of her time in the gardens at the Red Keep and nothing compared to it.

"These are beautiful." She did not know if she was speaking to him, or herself but Johanna did not care.

"Blue winter roses, they only bloom here. They were told to be my Aunt Lyanna's favorites."

Lyanna once again made her way into her life. Johanna was sick of the dead woman but she would not let that taint her wonder at the roses. She gently reached her hand out to touch the petals, they were soft and the scent the came from the rose made her smile. She could understand why they were a favorite of someone, they were truly a wonderful flower.

She continued to look around the small garden, as the boy watched her. She tried her best to ignore him but she felt his gaze upon her as intense as before. She looked at the flowers, fruit and vegetables that grew in the glass enclosure. She was unaware such a place could exist, but she had to imagine it was much to cold outside for anything to grow.

"Would you like to continue our walk, Princess, or stay here?"

She looked upon the boy with a kind smile.

"We may continue, my Lord."

She took his arm once more as he led her from the glass house. He was not a brutish as she had imagined, he even smiled at her. His smile was forced of course as was her own, they were strangers. It did not matter that their parents wanted them to be one, it would not make them love each other on instant. If Johanna did not love someone, if she was not Joffrey's love, she could have seen herself falling for this boy. He was handsome, many women in the Seven Kingdoms would think so, but his looks could not win her heart. She belonged to Joffrey, and Joffrey belonged to her. Their love was one for the ages. One day the bards would sing tales of them, and they would rule side by side just as the Targaryens had.

The boy showed her the Godswood, which was nothing like the one in her home. The Godswood of her home was filled with elm, alder and black cottonwood trees. The heart tree was not a Wierwood with a scary face painted upon it, instead it was a great oak tree covered in vines with red dragon's breath growing beneath it. In Winterfell the Godswood was larger than any she had ever seen. The trees were tall, and completely untouched by the hands of men, it was darker than the world around it and it gave Johanna the chills. The Lord took her to the heart tree, a bone white Wierwood tree with a frightening face carved into it.

"Do you pray to the old Gods?" She wondered to him aloud.

"I do, I sometimes pray to both. My father built my mother a small sept upon her arrival here."

Johanna had wondered if Lady Stark was of the north or south and she had gotten her answer. She knew most northerners, if not all, prayed to the old forgotten tree Gods. In the south where Johanna was from their faith lay in the Seven, and she was thankful their was a sept for her to pray in.

He took her from the Godswood and showed her the rest of the grey buildings that surrounded them. She was not too interested in them, she was looking around for someone in her family. She wanted to be with her blood, she would have plenty of time to get to know him. Her luck had run out because she had not found anyone as they walked, and she did not doubt they were in their chambers getting ready for the feast that was planned in her father's honor. She would too have to find her chamber and clean herself up, she could not attend the feast with herself a mess.

"I hate to interrupt, but I need to steal my sister away." Joffrey came up from behind the pair.

"It is not issue." The young Lord let go of her arm. "I would like to escort you to the feast if you do not mind."

"It would be an honor." Johanna gave the boy her best smile before turning to her brother.

Johanna took Joffrey's hand as he led her away, a smirk upon his face. She knew he had come to steal her away for no real reason, and that was more than alright with Johanna. She wanted to be alone with her love again, she did not wish to be with the Stark boy. He was nice enough, but she did not doubt it was a proper act he had to put on.

"I thought we would never be alone."

Joffrey pushed her into an empty bed chamber as he spoke. His lips crashed onto hers as the door locked behind them. Johanna had found her peace in Winterfell, and it was once again in her brother's arms.

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 _"I said "No one has to know what we do"_

 _His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room_

 _His voice is a familiar sound_

 _Nothing last forever, but this is getting good now."_


	3. Golden hair and Green eyes

**Author's Note: So here is how Robb views Johanna. I did not intend for it to be so long but it happened lol. I hope you all like it. Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Game of Thrones, I own only Johanna.**

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 **Chapter 2: Golden hair and Green eyes.**

"I hear the Prince is a real right prick." Robb was not looking forward to royal family coming to Winterfell.

"Better than his dim witted sister."

Robb sent a glare at Theon Greyjoy, that sister he mentioned was to be his wife. He heard stories of how dim witted the Princess was, how sheltered she was. Tales of how she was never seen outside the red walls of the Keep. Even with never being seen, her beauty was a thing of stories. Rumors would flood north of the golden haired beauty, more beautiful than her mother or any other woman in the Seven Kingdoms.

"I am sure she is not dim witted, and if she is that would make her perfect for you Robb." The jab this time came from his half brother.

Robb kicked Jon swiftly as the boy sat getting his hair cut, and face shaved. Robb's mother demanded all the boys look presentable for the King and Queen, Robb would have rather kept his facial hair. He felt like a child without it, and he was a man grown now. But Robb learned at a young age the arguing with his mother brought nothing but stress.

"Very funny Jon, at least I can look at a woman without running away."

Theon followed in Robb's laughter, both aware of Jon's mishap with a whore. His half brother had all intentions of making love to the woman, but in the end ran out before he could do it. Robb was no better, but at least he was smart enough to not even go to the brothel. He was betrothed at birth, had known since he was old enough to remember, he would not risk a bastard child. Not when he was to marry the damned Princess of the Seven Kingdoms.

It was not long before all the boys were cleaned up, and standing half dressed in the stall where their hair sat. Robb looked at his brother and Theon, both men different then himself. Jon was lean, quick and dark haired. Robb had seen the way girls looked at Jon, he could have had any girl in Wintertown if he truly wished. Theon was older than them both, a boy far from his home. He was as rough as the Iron Islands, but more attractive then most men in the north, women fell at his feet. Would the Princess prefer them over him? Most women seemed to fawn over them, while he never noticed if they looked at him.

He left them and found his way to his own chambers, his thoughts blurring together. The King had never come so far north, and Robb knew it was not just for a wedding. The plan had always been that his family would travel south to Kings Landing when the girl turned eighteen, and then they would marry. Everything had changed, the royal family was coming north and the wedding would take place a fortnight after their arrival. He had a fortnight to make the Princess comfortable with him, and get to know her. That was such a small amount of time to meet a woman and marry her but such was the way of being in a noble family.

It was not long before Robb found himself standing between Sansa and his father awaiting the royal family. The parade of people was about to start when his youngest sister, Arya, dashed in a helmet upon her head. Robb stifled a laugh, but kept a grin upon his face, his sister was always getting herself into trouble. Arya was a wild child, as wolf-blooded as they come, and he always had fun trying to chase her. He moved his eyes from his younger sister just as the procession of people came in on horse back. First were the banners, some red as blood with a golden lion, the other a yellow banner with the black stag of the King. Following the banners were the Prince and no doubt the Princess.

Robb felt his breath catch in his throat when he saw her, the rumors of her beauty were not wrong. He watched as she was helped from her horse, her brother holding her hand gently. Her hair fell in long golden waves, and the dress she wore was the color of fresh blood. He watched as the Prince put his fingers against the woman's chest, as if to touch her breasts but when the girl turned to him he saw the pendent upon her neck.

He continued to stare at the Princess while the King approached, allowing his eyes to wander down her body. She was small, thin but she had the curves of a woman. The dress clung to her, her breasts almost spilling from the confines of the fabric. Robb was not a man to just look upon a woman's body so he let his eyes wander up to her face. She had small features, small pink lips, a small nose and the brightest green eyes he had ever seen. She must have been looking him over as well because for a moment their eyes met. He let a smile grace his lips as they locked eyes, there was a gentle beauty about the woman. He hoped to learn more about her soon.

"Johanna, come here."

Robb knew her name but seeing her made it all seem real to him. He watched the King turn to the Princess who looked terrified. He watched as the girl clung to her twin brother's hand as if she was going to pulled away from him forever. He heard the King sigh, agitation growing on his fat face.

"Girl, now."

The King's tone was growing and the girl looked to her brother. Robb saw something flash between the green eyes but he was unsure of how to place it. It was as if the twins shared a secret only they knew. It was not until the King Slayer placed a hand upon the girl's shoulder did she move. She looked at the ground as she approached his family.

"Lord Stark, Lady Stark. It is a pleasure to meet you."

Her voice was soft like fresh fallen snow, and Robb wondered if she sang. He was convinced she must have, with a voice like hers how could she not. He watched as she bowed her head to his father, and to his mother. He could seen the unease in his father, the man never trusted the Lannisters, and even though his mother was polite Robb knew it was a courtesy nothing more. It was not long before she was pulled in front of him, and he looked down upon her.

"My Lord." She bowed her head to him all while placing her hand in his.

"Princess." He did his best to keep his voice formal.

He brought her hand to his lips and as he did he caught the gaze of her twin over the girl's shoulder. The Prince's green eyes were filled with distaste, and Robb only return the same look. He had seen the way the young Prince looked at Sasnsa earlier, he would never allow such a thing. It was clear neither brother liked the idea of the other being with their sister. There was nothing Joffrey could do about it though, Robb knew that, Johanna was his promised wife.

Robb moved his gaze from Joffrey to the Queen. It was believed she was the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms, Robb would not agree though. He believed his mother was quite beautiful, and now that he had seen the Queen he knew his mother was far more beautiful but it was the young Princess who would win the title. She may have looked like her mother, golden hair and green eyes, but Johanna was young and she looked it. The Queen was not old, but her age was somewhat evident on her tired visage, while her daughter showed no imperfection.

Soon he was taking his betrothed by the arm and leading her away from the rest of the group. His father had taken the King to the crypts to see Lyanna. He watched the Princess look back at her brother once more before they took their walk away. She did not speak to him, and he could feel her shiver against the cold. She was not dressed for the cold weather of Winterfell, and for a moment he thought of giving her the cloak he wore around his shoulders. He thought of a separate plan, he guided her to the glass gardens.

He watched a smile grace her small lips as the warmth of the glass house hit her. Her green eyes grew wide and he saw them land on the blue winter roses. He smiled to himself as she let go of him and approached the flowers. He took a risk on her liking gardens, but he was thankful it worked out for the better.

"These are beautiful." Her voice was quiet and he was unsure if she was speaking to him.

"Blue winter roses, they only grow here. They were told to be my Aunt Lyanna's favorite."

He watched her as she walked around the garden her eyes full of wonder. The young girl was not dim witted but she seemed much younger than her age. Her tone, her mannerisms, reminded him of a child. Robb asked her if she wished to continue their walk, or if she wished to stay in the garden. She smiled at him, a well trained smile, and took his arm once more. She seemed more relaxed as he lead her through Winterfell showing her all the places he called home.

He took her to the Godswood and he once again saw her eyes widen in wonder. He wondered what the Godswood of Kings Landing looked like, he had no doubt it was different from his own. They spoke of the faith, and he did not doubt she was of the Seven. They would marry in the Godswood as all northerners did, but the ceremony would be of the Seven. His father had told him the Lannister Queen demanded it to be so, and that if the Sept had been large enough it would have been in there. They continued their walk until they were interrupted.

He let her go with her brother, he truly could not stop them, but he would see the woman again soon. As he stood there Robb thought of the moments he had spent with Johanna. She did not say much to him,her voice timid and almost fragile. He wondered if the rumors of her sheltered life were true, and he wondered why someone would keep her locked away. No doubt every Lord in the Seven Kingdoms would want their son to marry a Princess such as herself. She was beautiful.

* * *

"At least she isn't ugly." He found Theon in his room waiting for him.

"Don't you have your own chambers to sit in?"

Theon was not just a ward to his family, he had grown to be a friend. Robb considered Theon a brother, he had spent most of his life with him in Winterfell. He just sometimes found the silence of an empty chamber was better than dealing with Theon.

"I do, but I wish to speak on the Princess."

"What do you wish to speak of?"

Robb began to change, not caring of who was in the room. He needed to get into a more proper outfit. He would escort the Princess to the feast held in her father's honor.

"What is she like? Is she as dim witted as they say?"

"She is not dim witted, Theon." He was surprised at how harsh his tone came out. "She is just soft spoken is all."

"Docile? I am sure that will be good for you in bed."

Robb whirled around and punched Theon on the shoulder. It was not hard, it was meant as a joke, but nonetheless he was annoyed at the boy. The girl was to be his damned wife he did not need his friend speaking of her in such a way. She was also a Princess, Robb feared what the King and Queen would think if they heard someone speaking of their daughter in such a way.

"Theon Greyjoy, watch your tongue. This girl is a Princess not a common whore."

Theon did not say another word he just gave Robb an all knowing smirk. Robb was already growing defensive of the girl and she had barely spoken to him. He was not even sure if he truly liked the person she was, and he did not know if she even liked him. Marriage as a Lord was a fifty fifty chance at happiness, just because his parents were lucky it did not mean he would be. She may never grow to love him, she could even grow to hate him and yet he was already defending her honor. It was a decent start, right?

"Did you see the way the young prince looked at you? I am sure he wants have your head on spike."

Theon was laughing.

"You saw it too? I thought I was imagining it, the feeling is mutual though."

Robb had no love for the young Prince, he seemed arrogant enough. The way he rode in, the way he looked at Sansa, all things that made Robb think very little of the Prince. He could not wait until the royal family left, leaving his family alone.

Robb finished dressing, finally ridding his hair of the oils that had kept it pushed back away from his face. He let his curls fall as they will and ignored Theon as he made comments of making a good woman. Theon was more trouble sometimes than he was worth, and Robb wanted to focus on the night ahead. His father had set a feast in the honor of King Robert, and a feast was always a place filled with too many people and too much wine. He knew he would have to keep his own drinking in check, while watching his siblings, and trying to win over his future wife. His night was going to be more complicated than he wished it to be.

* * *

He left Theon and went in search of the Princess in the guest house. It did not take him long to get pointed in the right direction, it helped that Bran was looking for the youngest Princess as well. Their parents were forcing all the children to escort someone of the royal family, saving Robb from feeling out of place. He knocked upon the Princess' door waiting patiently outside for a response but one never came. Robb fidgeted nervously before softly knocking again, not wishing to be rude. On the second knock the door was thrown open and the Princess stood before him, her pale face flushed.

"I am sorry, my Lord, I was caught up trying to fix my necklace."

The young girl looked frantic as she held a golden lion in her hand. He smiled at her taking the trinket from her.

"Let me help you, Princess." He bid her to spin around, her back now to him. "This is a very beautiful necklace."

He clasped it around her neck and let his fingers linger on her pale skin for a moment. She made no move as his fingers trailed down the back of her neck. He did not know if her lack of movement was a good thing, or a bad omen but he enjoyed the feel of her soft skin.

"Thank you, my Lord. My uncle gave it to me as an early wedding present."

She spun to face him, the lion sitting upon the swell of her breasts as it had earlier. He wondered how the necklace had been removed from her, she was still in the same dressed she was wearing earlier. He did not dwell to much on it, and simply just smiled upon her.

"Are you ready, my Lady?"

"Yes." She bowed her head in respect once more.

He took her arm and gently led her toward the Great Hall. He knew they would be the first one of the children to enter, he was the eldest of them. When they reached the door he felt her begin to shiver, he was unsure if it was the temperature or nerves. He held her hand in his in a reassuring manner, she gave him yet another forced smile before the doors were opened and he led her inside. Their parents sat at the head table, raised above on a platform. The room was filled with all the men in her father's company and his own. He caught sight of Jon who gave him an encouraging smile.

"Who is he?" Her voice was soft, and for moment he thought he caught a hint of longing in her tone.

"My brother Jon, half brother."

He watched her green eyes consider Jon, and he wondered if she found him attractive. It would not surprise him if she did, Jon was a handsome man. Robb tried not to feel jealous as he continued to lead her to the table where Rickon was sitting awaiting the siblings. He saw the men in the hall all stop to stare at Johanna, her beauty demanding their attention, but it seemed she had no idea of what was going on around her. Her eyes were fixed on her mother, as if she looking for instructions.

He pulled the chair out beside Rickon so Johanna could sit down. She smiled up at him, and for a moment the smiled reached her eyes. He gave her a genuine smile back as he pushed her into the table, before taking his own seat beside her.

"And who little Lord are you?"

He was filling her cup when she turned her attention to his younger brother. Robb almost laughed as Rickon shied away from the young Princess.

"Don't be shy. My name is Johanna, you can call me Hanna if you wish." Her voice remained soft, but her tone was less rehearsed.

"My name is Rickon."

"It is a pleasure to meet you Rickon, I hope we can get to know each other." She laughed, and the sound was like music to Robb. He watched as she leaned over to whisper to his brother. "You are much handsomer than your dear brother."

He heard his brother giggle, and he himself could not hold back a laugh. Johanna was so formal with him, so practiced but with his younger brother she seemed at ease.

"I heard that Princess." His tone was mocking, and he worried how she would react.

"You were meant to." She started with a smile, but it quickly changed to a thin line upon her face.

Robb followed her gaze and saw the Prince Joffrey escorting Sansa into the Great Hall. His younger sister's face lit up as she walked in, her eyes glued to the man who held her. Joffrey's eyes were not on Sansa though, they were fixed on Johanna with an all too telling gaze. Robb felt Johanna shift in her seat, facing forward and looking ahead toward her mother. When her brother came to the table her whole demeanor had shifted.

"Sister, you look lovely. Lord Robb, it is a pleasure to meet the man who is to be my brother by law."

Robb did not buy the Prince's tone but he did not argue. He saw the way his sister's eyes lit up in the presence of the Prince, but he had also seen the way Johanna had changed. Soon the table was filled with all the children. Arya sat beside Robb, her eyes judging Johanna. He watched as the Princess interacted with her brother, the way the young Prince spoke to her. Something unnerved Robb but it was not his place to speak upon.

He watched her drink her wine, and eat all the while everyone at the table spoke. She did not speak a word, but he did see her glance at Bran occasionally making a silly face to make the boy smile. He caught her smiling at her own younger siblings, but her mouth never open to speak a word. He worried but he did not let it ruin his own night. He kept drinking, looking over at Theon from time to time just to see the Ironbron eying the Princess with lust.

The night was not a complete disaster until Arya threw food at Sansa. Princess Myrcella screamed just as Sasna did, and everyone else tried not to laugh. Robb looked up and caught the eye of his mother who silently willed him to put the unruly child to bed. As he scooped his sister into his arms he caught sight of Rickon laying in Johanna's lap. He did not know how long his little brother had been laying on the young Princess, and he suddenly grew ashamed. He placed Arya down and turned to Johanna.

"I can take him, my Lady."

She smiled up at him, taking one last sip of her wine. She shook her head and cast a glance toward her brother Joffrey.

"It's more than alright, my Lord. If you can point me in the direction of his chamber I can carry him up."

It was the first time she had spoken in hours, and he smiled at the offer. He did not think she could carry Rickon, he was young but not tiny.

"I can.."

"Johanna, let him take care of it, the boy is his brother." Robb was cut off by Joffrey.

"Joff, I want to, please."

Johanna shifted Rickon into her lap sitting him up, trying not to stir the boy. He watched her slowly stand with the boy in her arms, a smile upon Robb's face. She did not hold a smile herself, he could tell her brother had upset her with his words.

The pair walked from the Great Hall, Rickon in her arms and Arya holding onto Robb's hand. His sister was looking at the Princess with an incredulous look but she did not seem to notice. Johanna's eyes were fixed on the sleeping child in her arms, a small smile playing upon her lips. None spoke as they made their way first to Arya's chambers, the child unhappy about being sent to bed. Next Robb led Johanna to put Rickon into the safety of his bed.

"You seem to be very good with him, I have never seen my brother sleep upon a stranger before."

They were standing in the hall when Robb spoke.

"I have always been closer to children, I took care of Tommen from when he was about four to now I suppose. I look after Myrcella as well, but now she is almost a grown woman of her own." It was the most he had heard her speak since their meeting.

"That is a very charming quality, my Lady."

Robb gave his future wife a genuine smile, he truly did think it was a good quality. He did not wish to mention to her that he wanted children, or that he could see she would be an excellent mother. It was much too soon for him to discuss children with a woman he had barely known.

"Thank you, my Lord."

An awkward silence over came the pair as they stood in the hall outside his brother's chambers. His own room was only three down, but he was not ready for sleep and he did not think it was proper to invite her in. She looked away from him, while all he could do was stare at her. Theon found her attractive, Robb could see it in the way he stared, but Robb wondered if the young girl noticed. If the Princess saw the way men looked upon her.

"Would you like to walk with me? If not we could always return to the feast."

"A walk would be nice, my Lord. As much as I love feasts, seeing my father grope at women has turned my stomach."

He took her arm for another time and began to lead her from the chambers. He had to check on Grey Wind before bed anyway, and he saw no issue in bringing her along. He worried for a moment that the wolf would frighten the young Princess, but she would need to grow used to it soon. As they walked they enjoyed a comfortable silence but as the woman began to shiver once more Robb removed his cloak placing it upon her shoulders and securing it. He almost laughed at how it dragged upon the ground, much to big for the smaller girl.

"Thank you, my Lord."

"Of course, I could not watch you freeze to death before our wedding."

He got laugh from her, and that was enough for Robb as they walked. He let go of her arm, allowing her the freedom to walk without him. She was dainty, even in the way she walked, she even more proper than Sansa. Robb knew she may not have a place among the wolf-blooded people of his family, but he could only hope she would find peace with them. He noticed her eyes grow wide when they made their way into the kennels, dogs barking as they passed but growing silent as he grew closer to where Grey Wind was.

"Why are we here?"

"I have to check on my wolf, he is not used to being alone for so long."

Robb saw the confusion in her green eyes, and a small smile played on his own lips. He approached the enclosure in which Grey Wind lay. When the wolf saw Robb he came to the edge of the cage, looking at his master.

"You can't come out tonight, Grey Wind, father does not wish to startle the royal family. I brought you this." Robb took a piece of meat he had wrapped up on his way out, feeding it to his wolf.

He glanced back to see Johanna staring at him and the wolf sitting in front of him. She did not hold fear in her eyes, instead he saw the same curiosity and wonder he had seen in Bran's eyes they day they found the wolves. He was beginning to think she was truly as sheltered as they said.

"Is he harmful?"

"No, not unless you mean to kill me."

She smiled at him, and he was beginning to enjoy the sight of her true smile.

"Well, I don't plan on killing you, no yet of course."

Robb was truly enjoying the moment with her just as he had earlier, and just like earlier they were interrupted. He did not think anyone would find them in the kennel but he was wrong. As he looked toward the entrance of the kennel he saw Ser Jaime making his way into the kennels. Robb sighed, knowing there was not a doubt that he had come for Johanna.

"Lord Stark, it is time for my niece to get some rest." Johanna spun around, once again her demeanor changing. "Johanna, Joffrey was going mad looking for you. You are lucky he did not send out the Hound."

"I am sorry, uncle, I truly got caught up in the wolf." Robb watched her bow her head to her own uncle.

"It is my fault, Ser Jaime, I asked her to come with me."

"It is alright, Lord Robb."

Johanna glanced back at Robb and for a moment their eyes locked. She gave him her false smile once more bidding him a good night before she was escorted away by the King Slayer. Robb was left alone wondering about the Princess. He had started to see glimpses of who she was, but every time her family came around she would change. She was practiced, and well rehearsed and he wondered if she would ever truly let her guard down to him.

"This shall be an interesting marriage I am getting into Grey Wind. Wish me luck, boy."


	4. Sickness

**Author's note: I went semi-au regarding Johanna's family past and that will kind of happen in a way. I will explain more of why I added the thing about Tommen later. Anyway I hope you like this chapter. Thank you for the reviews, follows and favorites.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Game of thrones, I do not own the Song of the Seven, it is from the Song of Ice and Fire Novels. I own Johanna.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Sickness**

Johanna was awoken by a small gentle kiss upon her neck, causing her to let out a small moan. She did not roll over as arms were wrapped around her and as she was pulled flush against a naked body. He was warm which filled Johanna with joy, she had grown cold in the middle of the night, even with the blankets that were meant to keep her warm.

"You stayed the night." She was surprised.

"I did, it's a risk worth taking for you."

He continued to kiss her neck, traveling to her bare shoulder to kiss the bruise that lay there. Johanna winced as her brothers lips met the wounded flesh. He continued to kiss it lighter, not to her hurt again. His hand traveled up her stomach until it reached her bare breast. He took the mound of flesh in his hand squeezing it gently, enlisting a moan from his sister.

"I am sorry about the bruises, my love."

"It's alright, you were angered. I do not hold it against you."

When she returned to her chambers after leaving Robb, Joffrey had been waiting for her. He had rage in his eyes, and it was not long until they were arguing. Well, it was more of Joff yelling while Johanna sat on the bed listening to him. She never yelled, it was beyond her to.

"I just can't stand it sometimes, it drives me mad when men look at you."

She rolled over in his arms and gave her brother a soft smile. She knew her brother had a jealous streak, but she did as well. She had gotten to know the young girl Sansa in the almost fortnight they had been in Winterfell, but even then it did not quell her jealousy. The girl was to marry Joffrey because the King could not settle for only one union to the Stark family.

"You know I only have eyes for you, brother."

She kissed him gently on the lips.

"I know, my dear sister, I know." He began to run his fingers through her hair. " It does not change that I hate the idea of you marrying this boy."

It was not secret to her that Joff hated the man she was to marry. Johanna did not feel the same way, she had only spent the one day getting to know Robb and he seemed kind enough. Ever since they were in the kennels though she had avoided him, it was better for everyone involved. Joffrey had made it clear to her how he felt, and for her love she would do anything. She spent most of her time with the Stark children. She would join Myrcella and Sansa in needlework, and she enjoyed teaching the girls new things to make. When she was not with them she found herself running around with Rickon, or watching Bran climb against his mothers wishes. She had grown fond of her betrothed's siblings, and they all seemed to be fond of her as well, save the second girl. Arya could not seem to stand Johanna, but it did not bother her.

"Do you have to go hunting today? Can't you stay with me, brother? Uncle Jaime is staying, and I believe uncle Tyrion is as well." Anna did not wish for her brother to leave her.

"Father is insisting, my love, but I will be back before you know it. Uncle Jaime is only staying to look after you and mother."

Johanna felt lonely as he brother stood from the bed, standing completely naked before he. She did not look away, she let her eyes travel his body. She had seen him naked many times before, but yet they had never dared to make love. He would just hold her naked against him, and that was enough for Johanna most times. She longed to feel her brother inside of her, she longed to have that level of love but he never agreed to it.

"What will you be doing in my absence?"

"Spending time with the children."

Johanna had found herself quite fond of Rickon and Bran Stark. While her brother forbid her to be around her future husband, she found company in his siblings. Rickon was a sweet spirited boy who enjoyed running with his wolf in the courtyard. Bran told Johanna stories of horrors that lived beyond the giant wall, and he told her of his plans for the future. She found Bran to be quite opposite of her own brother Tommen, who she loved, Tommen was much more soft spoken then the Stark child.

"I do not know why you find such company in children." Once he was dressed Joff took a seat on the bed next to her.

"Because children are kind, brother, and innocent."

Johanna shivered as her brother removed the covers from over her body. He had a wicked grin upon his face as he looked down upon her naked form. Johanna did not shy away as her brother ran his hand up her thigh.

"Innocent." He said the word in such a mocking tone. "You are not as innocent, my love."

Johanna let out a quiet moan as Joff placed his hand over her womanhood. He left his hand on her warmth, feeling the wetness, as he leaned forward to kiss her. Johanna leaned into the kiss wishing he could stay in bed with her.

"Stay."

"Nice try, love, but I can not. I do think,however, that you should stay in bed,and await my return.

He ran his fingers across her womanhood teasing her, denying her the pleasure he could tell she wanted. Johanna bit her lip looking up at her twin, his green eyes full of wicked intent. He leaned down once more to place a kiss upon her forehead before standing up leaving her wanting.

"Farewell, sister."

"Try not to kill my future husband, brother."

"I make no promises, arrows are finicky things."

Johanna went to protest but her brother was already gone. She lay in the bed feeling a warmth in her lower regions. She wanted Joffrey more than anything, but he would never give her what she sought. She did not care if she was not a maiden when she married, but it was apparent that her brother cared. She did not know if her betrothed would mind it, she did not think he was himself was pure. He was a handsome man and she did not doubt he had his fair share of whores in his time. Why should it matter if she remained pure for him? Johanna wanted her first time to be with the man she loved, not a kind stranger she was forced on to.

Johanna fell asleep shortly after Joffrey left, it was the break of dawn and she needed more rest. When she finally awoke once more she looked upon her naked body, light bruises fading into her skin. She loved her brother but he was uncontrollable when he was angered. He had not hit her, but the grip he held onto her was so tight he left bruises. One upon her shoulder, one upon her wrist, and two upon her hips. Her brother had a bitter temper, but she forgave him as quickly as she could. Bruises would fade, but her love for Joffrey was forever.

She took only a few moments to dress herself, putting on a plain blue gown. She had given up on trying to impress her husband, it was never her intention anyway. They were to marry in two days time, and she had not spoken to him in almost a fortnight. Any ground they had gained was ripped away by Joffrey but Johanna did not care. If Joffrey wanted to be the only one to hold her company, she would not deny him. Soon her brother would be off to Kings Landing and she would be trapped in Winterfell without any blood.

"Johanna, my dear, are you awake?" Johanna smiled at the sound of her mother's voice.

"Come in mother."

Johanna was always close to her mother, she took everything the woman said to heart. Johanna may have been born a Baratheon but it was the Lannisters she took after. Her looks came from her mother, her soft spoken nature was from her grandmother, Johanna was a Lannister. Cersei was a doting mother that took care of Johanna's every need, the girl never wanted for a thing. She was able to spend most of her time with her siblings, and no one ever bothered her because her mother saw to it.

"You grow more beautiful everyday, my little lioness."

"I will never reach your beauty mother."

Her mother took a brush from the girl's night table and began to run it through her hair. Johanna smiled as her mother brushed her long golden locks. It was something her mother would do often, when the time permitted it, and it was something she would miss greatly.

"Are you nervous, my love? It will only be two day now until the wedding."

"I am nervous, but he seems kind enough mother. I suppose I should be lucky."

Johanna knew the chances of her finding a good husband were slim. She knew he father was in control of who she married, and if it was not Robb Stark, she did not doubt it would be a monster. Someone like her father, a whoring drunkard.

"You must be careful, my dear, he is as wolf blooded as they come."

Johanna had heard the term wolf blooded before, her mother had used it to describe Lyanna to her. She called her a wild animal of a woman, one who fought and had no regard for class. Johanna had never truly encountered such a woman, though she did not encounter many. The Ladies she was used to were proper, and only found at the feasts her father would hold. She was used to her mother who taught her to be proper and ladylike in any situation.

"I will be mother. I will visit too, do not worry. When I have children I will bring them south to you."

Johann wished not to think of the children she would give to Lord Stark, but she could not help it. She wanted to be a mother very much, even if it was not the children of the man she loved. She had seen her mother raise her children in a loveless marriage and Johanna knew she could do the same. It was not ideal, but it was something she was prepared for.

"I will count the days, my lioness. You are my eldest daughter, my first born daughter. I will never forgive your father for sending you away." Her mother kissed the top of her head. "I never wished for you to be sent to such a horrid place, you have no home here."

Johanna understood her mother because she already growing sick of the cold. All the Starks spoke of was that winter was coming, and Johanna wished to be far away when that happened. In Kings Landing she would have been warm, the sun always gracing her face but in the north she felt as if she could turn to stone. The pair sat in the silence of the moment, her mother just running her fingers through her hair just as Joffrey had. Johanna loved her family, and she felt as if she would slowly die without them to comfort her. She had no hope in Winterfell, save the children.

"Johanna I must ask you something, and I do not wish for a lie my little lioness."

"I never lie to you mother." And that was the truth, Johanna never had to lie. She hated to lie.

"I went in search of your brother last night, and I could not find him. Was he in your chamber again?"

Johanna looked down at the ground. Her mother had caught Joffrey laying with her one night, years ago, and her mother flew into a rage. It was innocent then, they were barley eleven, but even still her mother was in a frenzy. Johanna shifted anxiously in her seat.

"I am sorry mother, he was."

"My little lioness, do not be sorry. My love, I think we should talk."

Johanna spun in her stool to face her mother. The older woman sat upon the bed, her green eyes full of emotion. Cersei took her daughter's hands in her own, smiling upon her but Johanna saw the way the smile did not reach her eyes. Something was bothering her mother, and Johanna just wished to help.

"No one will understand what it is like for you to have a twin here. No one here will understand the bond you have with him, you must not tell them my love. I know you see no harm in sharing a bed with your brother, and maybe as a child it was harmless, but Johanna you have been a woman for some time now."

It was true Johanna had gotten her first moonsblood on the eve of her thirteenth nameday. Joffrey had spent the night as a present to them both, but when she awoke to find the blood in the bed she cried for days. She was ashamed that Joff had to see her in such a way, she avoided him for days after. She was a woman, but her mother would never understand the bond she shared with Joffrey. Johanna knew no one would understand them. The Targaryens had died out with the help of her family, and with that the tradition of marrying siblings died as well. Johanna wished she had been born a Targaryen countless times in her life, maybe then she would find happiness.

"I know mother and it will not happen again. He was comforting me because I am so frightened."

Johanna never lied, she hated to lie but she had to lie. What could she tell her mother? She smiled upon the woman who gave her life, trying her best to hide her true intentions. Joff was her love, and if her mother found out ti would surely mean ruin for them all.

"I know my child. Now why don't you run along and play with the children, they have been asking for you."

Johanna smiled and excused herself from her mother. First she would go in search of breakfast and then she would find the children. She could hardly run around on an empty stomach. She found the guest hall empty, no doubt her family had already broke fast. She asked a maid for a small plate of bacon and a sweetroll. Johanna had a sweet tooth and since no one else was in the hall with her it meant she could have whatever she wished for breakfast.

Once Johanna had filled her belly she went in search of the children but instead she found her uncle. Her handsome uncle Jaime stood against the remnants of a broke tower, his golden hair blowing in the cold wind. Johanna smiled to herself as she approached the man.

"Hello, Uncle."

"Well hello, Hanna, how are you fairing this bitter morning?"

"Cold, but I plan to run with the children so I am sure the chill shall fade."

The older man ruffled her hair with a small smile.

"Well do not let me keep you, dear, go find those children."

Jaime leaned down and kissed Johanna on the cheek before she walked away. A lady never truly ran, but Johanna pretended to with the children. Johanna found the children standing in the main courtyard. Rickon was chasing his small pup Shaggydog, Sansa sat with Myrcella doing needlepoint and Bran was about to rush past her.

"Where are you going little Lord?"

"I can't say."

She saw the shifty look in the child's eyes and she knew where he was intending to go. Bran had an affinity for climbing. He had also told her how his mother had forbid him from doing such a thing. She looked upon him with a stern glance.

"At least be careful, little one."

She watched Bran run off with his wolf at his heels, always a spirited pair. Johanna took a seat beside her sister and Sansa, speaking to the two girls. Johanna hated Sansa, and she was sure under a different circumstance she wouldn't but she was to marry Joffrey. Johanna could not stand the thought, and the young girl fawning over her brother did not make it any better for her.

"He is truly handsome." The young girl's friend had joined her and the pair would not shut up.

Johanna wished to like Sansa, the young girl was much like herself, but she couldn't. How could she? Sansa looked at Joffrey like he was the center of the world, but the truth was he was the center of Johanna's world. She may have been marrying him but Johanna had his love. Joffrey only loved her, just as she only loved Joff. No one silly little girl could change that.

"I wish you were coming to Kings Landing, Princess Johanna, I would love to get to know you better."

"I am sure I will visit,Lady Sansa, it is my home after all. I want to be there for the wedding of course."

Johanna really did want to be there for their wedding day. She hated the thought of Joff marrying, but she could never miss such a day in his life. She wanted to be beside him in such a big moment. She was having a hard enough time grasping that in a few weeks she would be leagues away from her best friend, love and twin brother. Johanna went to speak again when the howl of a wolf cut them all short. Johanna had heard the call of the wolves on her journey north, but this cry was different and it sent chills down her spine.

* * *

When Johanna was told Bran fell from the broken tower she sadly only had one thought. _Uncle Jaime._ She had seen her uncle at the tower only minutes before the young boy had gone off to climb. She sat in the guest hall eating with her family as her head swam with thoughts. She knew her uncle could never hurt a child, but she had heard tales of Bran's climbing skills. The boy had never fallen, never slipped. She ate in silence as her sister asked her mother nervous questions of the boy. Johanna could not sit there for long so she made her way to the hall where the Starks ate alone.

She found it empty,save a servant. Johanna asked where everyone was, and when she was told the children had retreated to their rooms she felt a pang of sadness. She could not imagine what the young children were going through. She asked of Lady Stark, being informed the woman had not let her son's side. Johanna took some food and made her way to the young Lord's sickroom.

"Lady Stark, may I come in?" Johanna kept her voice soft.

"If you wish."

Johanna was surprised by the sight before her. The Lady she had seen upon arriving in Winterfell was beautiful and now she was a just a shell of a woman. It had only been hours since Bran's fall and the woman was broken. Johanna placed the small plate of food in front of Lady Stark with a wry smile before finding a seat. She sat on the other side of the bed, taking Bran's hand in her own. She felt guilty, she blamed herself for the young boy's fall.

 _I pray to the Seven to keep this child safe. May they watch over him and return him to his family._

Johanna wished she had stopped Bran, she wished she had told him not to climb. Children were her weakness as she felt ashamed of herself for letting him disobey his mother. If she had been stern, been what she should have been, he would be awake and laughing at them.

"Lady Stark, I am so very sorry." Johanna knew no words would comfort the woman.

"Thank you, Princess."

Johana fidgeted uncomfortably, unsure of what to say to the woman. She held Bran's hand in hers, willing the boy to wake.

"My children adore you, save Arya she is a wild one. I don't know how you got my young sons to take to you so quickly." It seemed like a happy topic, but there was no joy in Lady Stark's voice.

"I am told I have a personality they makes children comfortable, but I don't know if I believe it. Honestly, I have just been taking care of children for some years now."

"Taking care of children how?"

Johanna could hear the honest curiosity in the Lady's tone. Johanna looked down at Bran, thinking for a moment. She had not spoken of the past in some time, her family never spoke of the past.

"When Tommen was four he became very ill. He was left alone in chambers to get better, forbidden to be visited by anyone. I was only ten then but I crept from my room one night and found myself in his chambers. I stayed there for two weeks taking care of him." Johanna looked at Bran and for a moment she saw her younger brother laying there. "They were so worried I would get sick but I never did, he just got better. After that I looked after him, and my sister. I felt a duty as their older sister."

"You shall make a good mother."

Johanna hoped it was true. She had been told her whole life she would make an excellent mother, and she just hoped it was not kind words. She loved children and she would love any child given to her by Robb Stark. She just hoped they were like her, and her family.

Johanna sat with Lady Stark in silence for hours, just holding Bran's hand. She had only spent a small time with the boy but it was easier for to grow attached to him. If she was never being forced to stay in Winterfell she would not have bothered with the children, but because she was to live there it was easy. She found peace in their company. The silence and her thoughts were broken when the door to the sickroom was opened.

"Mother."

Johanna and Lady Stark both turned to see Rickon standing in the doorway. Johanna could see the tears that were falling from his eyes. Lady Stark made no move toward the child, so Johanna got up.

"Rickon, it's late. Why don't we go to bed?" She looked to Lady Stark as she spoke, who gave her thankful nod.

"But Bran.."

"Come, little one."

Johanna took the boy's hand and began to lead him back to his chambers. Johanna did not even know how get back there, so she had to ask the child. She held his hand tight as he sobbed quietly beside her, the tears falling freely. She knew he was sad, his brother lay hanging between life and death. She wished to fix it, wished to take all the pain from Rickon.

"Now come on, into bed little one."

Rickon listened, nestling himself under the warm furs on his bed. She smiled to herself as the child curled up beside where she sat on the bed. She began to run her hand through his curls, trying to keep him calm. She ran her free hand along his back, trying to soothe crying.

"The Father's face is stern and strong,he sits and judges right from wrong. He weighs our lives, the short and long,and loves the little children,The Mother gives the gift of life,and watches over every wife. Her gentle smile ends all strife,and she loves her little children"

Johanna began to sing to the child, hoping the Song of the Seven could soothe his crying. As she continued to sing she kept running her fingers through his hair. She found peace as his breathing became even and a smile found her face. She would sing the song to Tommen when the boy could not sleep, and she was glad Rickon too found peace in the song.

"So you can sing."

Johanna jumped from the sudden voice, she did not know someone had entered the room. She turned from the child to see her future husband standing in the doorway.

"My Lord, you frightened me."

"That was not my intention, Princess. I came to check upon Rickon and to thank you."

Johanna looked down at the sleeping child. She stood from the bed and ushered the Lord from the chamber. She did not wish to stir the sleeping boy.

"He is sleeping now, he worries for Bran."

"We all do, princess, we all do." She saw the worry upon the young man's face. If he was her blood she would have reached out to him. "As I said I wished to thank you for being with my mother, if not for you she would have been alone."

Johanna smiled at the man gently.

"Of course, I have grown fond of Bran and I did not wish to see your mother sit alone."

For a moment they stood in the hallway silent. She was looking into his blue eyes while he looked somewhere else. She wished she could have been happy about the impending marriage, she wished she could. She wasn't happy though, because the only man she wished to marry was her own brother. She was a sickness.

"I have not seen you since the night you arrived."

Johanna had honestly hoped he had not noticed her absence.

"I am sorry, my Lord, but soon we shall be married." _Two days._

"I would like to know you more before that. So may I ask a favor of you?"

Johanna regarded the man before her, a mischievous grin upon her face. She felt worry flood through her. What could he possibly ask of her? She was a stranger to him.

"What is it, my Lord."

"Come on a walk with me through the Wolfswood tonight. My brother, friend and I need to escape the castle for a while, come with us."

Johanna looked down the hall toward the exit, toward where her chamber lay. She could say no, she could turn and find her way to her own bed. She wanted to say no, she did not wish to go into the woods with him. He was kind enough but her mother's warning rang in her head, but there was something in his eyes. He looked down at her with such compassion, and true curiosity.

"It is much too late at night, I fear."

"Please, Princess, it will be one of our last chances to get to know each other." He wore such a genuine kind smile. "I promise I will be proper. I truly just wish to know my future wife."

His voice was so gentle, not a hint of malcontent. She knew he would not hurt her, and they would not be alone. She had alarm bells going off in her head, hearing Joffrey's voice ringing in her ears. She knew he would be furious if she went on the walk, but she did not wish to upset the Lord. He was to be her husband, and if she wished for a better marriage then her mother, she should at least try.

"Alright, but it'll be much too cold I should get a shawl."

"Stay here, I will fetch you a cloak. Not mine this time, of course, one of my sisters."

He was gone before she could argue with him. As she stood outside of Rickon's door Johanna found herself praying to the Seven. She prayed for their blessing and their protection. Her last small prayer was that by the time she got back Joffrey was sound asleep in his own bed, she wished not to face him.


	5. Innocence

**Author's note: Second chapter in one day. I really am enjoying writing this story. Also we finally get a glimpse into the mind of Joffrey. I hope you all enjoy the chapter. Thank you for the favorites, follows and reviews they mean a lot.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Game of Thrones, or anything related to it. I own Johanna that is all.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Innocence.**

Johanna felt uncomfortable upon her future husband's horse, but she ignored it as they rode ahead. She thought they were taking a simple walk through the Wolfswood but Robb had a bow upon his back, as did the boy Theon. Johanna was alarmed but she refused to let them see her break apart, she was a Lannister lion she did not show weakness. She kept her mouth a thin line as they rode to the wood, and upon their arrival she slid off the horse.

Robb walked ahead of her with Theon, leaving her to walk in the back with his half brother. She thought the purpose of the walk was for them to speak, but Robb had not said a word to her since he brought her to his horse. She felt out of place, and she just wished to be back in her own bed. She was trying to be the good wife, but he was not making things easy for her. He led her to believe he too wanted to put in an effort.

Jon Snow was quiet, he too did not say a word as he walked beside Johanna. She truly questioned why Robb had asked her to come if he planned to ignore her. Her attention was drawn from her own mind when a pure white pup ran by her feet. She dodged the wolf with ease as it ran around her.

"Is he yours?"

"Yes, Sorry Princess." Jon Snow looked down at the ground, and Johanna wished he was not so shy.

She understood why he was so uncomfortable around her. She had heard Sansa speak on Jon, of how her mother did not want him around the royal family. She did not blame Lady Stark. If Robb Stark had a bastard when they were married, she did not think she could allow that child to live in their home. Even with her love of children, the shame of raising a bastard was a hard shame to bear.

"Don't be sorry, he's cute."

Johanna truly found the wolves to be harmless, and docile creatures. She had not seen any of them make a move to harm a single person. Her brother on the other hand did nothing but tell her how he thought they were horrid. Joffrey never liked things that made others happy.

"I don't understand your brother, he brings me out here just to ignore me."

Johanna had no one else to speak to in the middle of the woods, so she spoke to the only person in proximity. She had never spoken to Jon, never looked at him outside of the feast, but she needed to speak.

"He is nervous, Princess Johanna. He has known of your impending marriage almost his whole life, but it does not ease his nerves."

Johanna looked ahead to see her betrothed walking with his friend. He stood tall, strong and with so much confidence she thought it silly to hear he was nervous. She had spent little time with him but even so not once was she hinted to his nerves.

"I am nervous as well, Jon. I am the one losing everything in this marriage."

Johanna had not meant to sound so bitter but it was the truth. She was losing everything by marrying the Stark boy, and he was losing nothing. She was dragged leagues from her home, soon her whole family would be gone and she would be alone in the home of strangers.

"He knows that too, and he feels horrid about it. My brother is not as bad as your brother may think he is, princess."

"Is it that obvious? I thought my brother was more subtle."

Johanna found herself comfortable around Jon, which was a problem. She had found herself becoming comfortable with Robb right before she was forced not to speak with him. She knew better than to be comfortable around men who were not Joffrey, his jealousy would burn cities to the ground.

"I fear your brother is not nearly as subtle as you believe, but then again neither is mine." Johanna smiled. "My brother finds you quite beautiful, and I believe your brother has qualms with that."

Johanna found Jon very intriguing, he knew much. He spoke very little but it was as if his grey eyes saw everything. She wondered what else the young bastard had perceived of her family. Did he know of the relations between her and her twin? She doubted he did, if he had surely she would have been beaten by her father then.

"He means well, I promise. Joffrey has always been protective of me, and I of him, such is the life of twins."

"Such is the life of siblings. We are very protective our own here too, Princess, trust me. If Robb does not kill your brother before the end of this trip it will be a miracle. He worries for Sansa."

Johanna wished to laugh but she knew their worry was well placed. If her jealousy had not clouded her feelings for young Sansa, she may have worried as well. Her brother was her love, but it did not make him a sweet prince like the young girl had wished. Johanna knew how to handle her brother, or so she believed, and she knew when to forgive him. She did not know if the young Stark girl could do the same. He had a temper that when provoked would only mean harm for the she wolf.

"Well I hope both of them can keep their weapons sheathed for our sakes, women have no wish to see bloodshed over them."

Some women did, but Johanna was not one of them. She had heard tales of women so special wars were fought for them, one of those women being Lyanna Stark. Her father had gone to war to get her back, the Starks died to get her back. How was one woman so special to so many people that they would die a fiery death just to try and save her?

"I will counsel my brother, if you counsel yours."

Johanna let out a small laugh, and nodded at Jon Snow. He was something special, that she was sure of. He had good looks, soft spoken nature and eyes that saw more than most. If he was not seeking to take the black, Johanna was sure he would have made a woman truly happy.

"I make no promises on my brother's behalf though of course, but I would like my husband in one piece when we marry."

Johanna had tried to call Lord Robb her husband in her head, or out loud as much as she could. She wanted it to feel right but it never did. She knew nothing of the man, and yet he was to be her life partner. He would father her children, and be their protector for the rest of their days. She wanted it to feel natural when she walked toward him in the Godswood but she was not even close to feeling such a way.

Silence fell over Jon and herself, neither speaking, but it was not uncomfortable. Johanna kept her gaze on Robb, a bow in his hand and arrows upon his back. He looked like a true born solider, and she was used to that. Joffrey was a solider as well, but there was a great difference in the two men and Johanna wondered who would ever win if it came to a fight. She knew Joffrey was quick and skilled, but she could see the Robb had a natural strength to him. She just prayed it never came down to a fight, she feared she would lose her brother if it did.

Johanna stopped for a moment and when she looked up Robb and Theon had disappeared from view. She had truly thought of turning back whens he lost sight of him. Johanna was frustrated with the man, she had gone against her own views to come with him. She broke a rule inside of her own mind to go with him into the woods just for him to ignore her and disappear. She turned to Jon who did not seem bothered by the men disappearing at all.

"I think I may go back and wait by the horses, I see no point to my presence."

Once again Johanna's tone was icier than she had wished it to be. She understood that the men had come to the woods to deal with their feelings over Bran, but she did not need to be there.

"Hold one moment, Princess, let me see if I can go talk some sense into him."

Jon gave her a weak smile before he and his wolf pup ran in the direction of the missing men. Johanna shivered uncomfortably in the middle of the dark woods. She did not know her way among the trees, she did not know her way out of the darkness. She pulled the cloak tighter her body as she felt a fear creep over her, and unease she had never felt before. Johanna never had anything to fear at home, never had anything to worry over in the walls of the Red Keep, but in the woods everything was a fear. She was alone, and she allowed her weakness to break through, there was no one there to judge her. She nearly jumped out of her skin was a branch snapped behind her but she made no move. She prayed silently.

Johanna tried to scream as a rough, strong hand covered her mouth and an arm pulled her back into the mass of trees. Johanna did not struggle, she knew better but she closed her eyes tightly until finally the person let go of her, and when she opened her eyes she felt her body turn to ice.

"Robb Stark, you nearly frightened me to death." Johanna hated to yell, but yet she found herself standing in the middle of the wood yelling at her betrothed.

"I am truly sorry, Princess, it was not my intention." He wore a wolfish grin upon his face and Johanna wanted to smack it off, but she would never. "And you called me by my name."

Johanna blushed and looked to the ground, she had used his name. She was never so bothered that she let her formality slip from her. She knew who to call Lord, or Lady, and she knew never to call a Lord by his name. It did not matter that they were to marry in two days, he was not her husband yet.

"I apologize, my Lord." Johanna had her green eyes trained on the dark ground under their feet.

"I did not complain, Princess." She felt his rough fingers under her chin, lifting her head to look into his blue gaze. "I am going to be your husband, I would hate for you to call me Lord forever. I also quite enjoy the sound of my name coming from your lips."

Johanna blushed again at how forward the Lord was being, but as he spoke she smelt a hint of wine on his breath. She did not doubt he had been drinking with his friend as they walked, and she chalked it up to the sadness he felt inside. Johanna looked away into the darkness behind the Lord, her gaze no longer meeting his own.

"We should return to Winterfell, my Lord, I fear it is growing late."

"Johanna, if I have offended you I apologize." His voice grew softer than she thought possible.

"It is just late, my Lord."

She went to make her way around him, hoping she was going in the right direction. As she passed him she felt his gentle grip on her forearm. Johanna froze, used to the tight grip of Joffrey. Her betrothed spun her so she was facing him, a tentative look in his blue eyes. For a moment he did not say a word, and for a moment Johanna was left to wonder what the young man was doing. In one quick motion the Lord leaned down and pressed his warm lips to her cold ones. She did not return his kiss, but instead she stepped back from him.

"I really wish to return to Winterfell now, my Lord. If you wish to remain in the wood, I ask if you can direct Jon to return me."

And so it was, after the stolen kiss Johanna was placed upon Jon's horse a ridden back to the walls of Winterfell. Lord Robb said nothing to her of the kiss, spoke nothing on her leaving and she said nothing either. Jon tried to ask her what had transpired between the two but she did not say a word. She had never kissed a person outside of her own brother, and though it was wrong it was just as wrong for Robb to kiss her. She was not yet his wife, and sharing a kiss was wrong. If anyone had seen them Johanna would have felt shame. She did not doubt they would have imagined she had done more with the young Lord, and she liked to maintain her air of innocence.

Johanna bid Jon Snow farewell and found her way alone to her chambers. Her mind was a blur of thoughts, and she wished it was not. She was unhappy with the way Lord Stark acted toward her, but she was more unhappy with herself. She let herself, for one small moment, enjoy the innocence of his kiss.

* * *

 **Joffery.**

Bran Stark had fallen while they were on their hunt, and Joffrey could not help but feel nothing. He did not know the Stark child, and he thought it was a crime that they continued to let the boy live. He was dead already, but yet his family could not see the truth in it. When his uncle Jaime told him of the accident he could not have been more unmoved. He did not doubt Johanna had felt more for the incident and when he found he would share a moment with her. He would comfort his sister, as much as he hated doing so. He found Johanna weak, and he knew he was to blame, he sheltered her. He had helped his mother keep Johanna sheltered from the reality of the world, he had watched his mother lie straight to his sister's face but he allowed it. He liked her just the way she was.

He went in search of Johanna upon his return, but when he entered her chamber it was empty. He asked a servant where she was and even then no one knew. His anger grew inside of him, and he sat in her chamber waiting for her. He had spent the whole day with her betrothed, and he wanted nothing more than to let his arrow or sword cut into the man's flesh. He had seen the way Lord Robb had looked at his sister, he had seen the way the ward had looked at his sister and it drove Joffrey into a mad rage. She was his, and he did not enjoy someone else looking at her with lustful eyes. He hated the thought of that wolf blooded animal putting his hands on her.

Joffrey made his way to the window in his sister's chambers just in time to see her ride into the courtyard. She was sitting upon a horse with the bastard son of Lord Stark, and the fire inside Joffrey began to burn hotter. He could not let his sister trot around the walls of Winterfell like some common wolf whore. He watched as the bastard looked upon his sister, a small smile upon the boys face. His sister did not wear her own smile, but he could see she was contemplating something in her own mind.

"Where the bloody hell were you?" The second his sister entered the room he pushed her against the solid stone wall.

"Joff, my love, calm down please." He heard the wince in his sister's voice.

He hurt her, he could tell as he held her against the wall. All he saw was red, and he did not have control over his own body any longer.

"Not until you tell me where you were, and why that bastard was riding you upon his horse."

His face was inches from hers, their green eyes clashing. She held such tenderness in her gaze, even as he shoved her harder into the wall, while his own green eyes were filled with wild fire.

"I was on a walk through the woods, I am sorry brother." Johanna's voice as docile as ever.

"Why? Who were you with?" His grip did not lessen on her shoulders, no doubt recreating a bruise that had begun to fade.

"Lord Robb, Theon Greyjoy and Jon Snow. Lord Robb had asked me to..."

But she did not need to finish, Joffrey did not care what the wolf had sought from his sister. It could have been innocent but in his mind nothing was innocent.

"And you allowed yourself to be alone with them? What were you thinking, Johanna? I am sure they think you simple minded and easy."

Johanna blushed and Joffrey wondered why.

"I am sorry, my love, please let us not argue."

Joffrey was not arguing, they never argued. Johanna would disobey Joffrey and it would lead to his temper exploding. Some would call him mad for the way he felt toward Johanna, but it as not madness it was love. He loved her, he loved her fiercely. He loved her beyond reason and sense. He wished he was King, he wished he could save her from her damned marriage and keep her locked away with him forever.

"You have no sense sometimes, my dear. I am sorry I hollered."

Joffrey loosened his grip upon her shoulders but he kept her pressed to the wall with his body. He never got enough of her. He let his hands travel down her arms while he leaned in to place a kiss upon her pink lips. It took only a second for her to return the kiss, a small fire shared between them. Joffrey was aware of how he left his sister wanting him that morning, and he felt it was time he gave her what she truly longed for.

He took no time at all with stripping her clothing away, leaving her naked before him. She did not make a single protest as he laid her naked upon the bed, his eyes staring lustfully at her. Joffrey let his hands fall on her breasts for a moment, enjoying the small sounds she made as he rolled her nipples between his fingers. He enjoyed the sight of her mouth falling open in the pleasure he was giving her. He removed his hands from her body long enough to rid himself of his own clothing. He hovered over his sister completely naked, as he leaned down to kiss her once more. He pushed his tongue inside of her mouth, kissing her with frenzy. He was finally going to give her what she had begged for.

As he deepened the passionate kiss Joffrey slid his hands down to her cunt, slowly letting his fingers slide over the wetness that had formed between her thighs. He smiled into the kiss before slowly slipping a finger inside of his sister, just enough for her to feel the presence of him.

"Joff, wait." She tried to protest but he kissed her to keep her silent.

He took his finger from her wetness, and looked deep into his sister's mirrored eyes. He gently gripped her hips in his hands, preparing them both for what was to come.

"This may hurt, my sweet."

Joffrey readied himself, but before he could make the push into her center Johanna pushed against his chest. He was not expecting resistance, and her push came at a surprise causing Joffrey to move off of her.

"What are you thinking? You want this Johanna, and so do I." The fire was returning.

"We can't Joffrey, you know that." Johanna sat up in bed pulling the furs over her naked body, hiding it from his lustful eyes. " I was foolish to think we could, but you know we can not."

"Why can't we sweet sister? Are dim enough to think that man has remained pure waiting for you? Why should we have to keep our love from becoming whole just for him?"

Joffrey wanted nothing more than to bury his cock inside of her. He had dreamt of it, he had longed for it and the moment he finally willing to give in to her, she pushes him away. Who does she think she is?

"I do not hold a fools notion that he is pure, but I will never know. If I am not a maiden when we marry, he could very easily call the whole thing off. Father would have me beaten if he knew."

Joffrey held no fear for his father, but he did long for the man's approval. Even so he did not care what the king thought of Johanna not being pure. He wanted her, and that should have been the only thing to matter.

"I would never let father touch you, no one will ever harm you. I know you want this."

He placed a gentle hand upon his sister's cheek, trying to make her understand. Joffrey wanted her. He was angry that someone else would have the woman he loved when he himself could not.

"I am sorry, Joff, I am really sorry." He saw tears fill his sister's eyes.

Joff hated when Johanna cried, it annoyed him to no end. Whining women were something that Joffrey had little patience for, but he tried his best for Johanna. She was the only woman in the Seven Kingdoms he even gave an effort for. His own future wife was nothing more than a means to an end, he knew that. Sansa Stark was a dim witted, sweet and docile girl. She would never fill the empty spot left by his own sister, and when he became King she would not longer have to. Joffrey had a plan to get his sister back when he was King, he did not care if he had to rip her from the arms of her husband. He would have her back.

"It is alright, my sweet." He kissed her upon the head. "Let us rest, it will be a long few days ahead for you."

Johanna did not speak and Joffrey watched her turn away from him to lay facing the window. The moon light spilled into the room and in the dark he wondered if she still longed for him. That morning she had been practically begging him with her eyes, and now she turned her back to him. He wondered what could have happened in the woods that kept her so distant from him.

Joffrey laid down beside her, and pulled her body tight against his own.

"You are mine, my love."

"I am." Was the only response he received but he could hear the sincerity in her tone, and for the night he could hold on to the fact that she was his. He would never let her belong to another, not for long.

* * *

 **Jaime Lannister**

He had one day until his sweet daughter married the eldest son of Lord Eddard Stark. It was no lie that the Lannisters and the Starks had shared a torrid history. Jaime was sure if it was known that Johanna was his daughter that the marriage would have never been arranged. He also knew if it was made known that any of Cersei's children were of his seed then they would all have their heads decorating the gates of Kings Landing. He loved his children, he looked after his children, but he could not claim them as his own.

Johanna and Myrcella had a special place in Jaime's heart, they looked so much of their mother. Johanna could have been Cersei's twin as a child, so much alike, and so much like his own mother. Johanna was soft spoken, gentle and sheltered. He had never agreed with his sister's idea to keep her sheltered from the true horrors of the world but he never spoke upon it. Johanna would learn the truth of the world soon enough, in the harsh North there was no one to shelter her.

"How did I know I would find you here, little lioness?"

Jaime had been in search of Johanna all morning. He had received news from the King, and he knew he would have to inform the young woman. He knew it would not be something that would please her.

"Because I pray too much for my own good."

She knelt in the Sept, quoting the words his brother had once told her. It was true, Johanna prayed too much. She placed too much in the faith of Gods, while Jaime believed in them very little.

"I have news for you, lioness, come here."

Jaime sat upon a chair waiting for her to sit beside him. She knelt a moment longer, he did not doubt to finish her prayer. He wondered often what she prayed for, and he knew she would never speak upon the matter. She believed telling her prayers aloud would taint them, and she never wished for a thing. As she stood to face him Jaime had lost himself for a moment, she looked so much of his lover. Her hair fell the way her mother's did, her eyes held the same sense of worry. Her beauty was that of Cersei's youth, the years he had found himself falling for his twin.

"What is the news uncle? Nothing too foul I hope." She sat like a proper lady, and kept her proper tone as well.

"I am sorry to inform you that your father will not be giving you away at the wedding on the morrow."

Jaime searched her face for some kind of feeling but her lips remained pressed together. Johanna was like her mother, calm and collected in the graces of public. He placed a hand upon hers, trying to tell her she could let her walls down for him.

"It is alright, father must have his reasons Uncle."

"If you would have me, I will do the honor."

A small smile reached his daughter's lips and Jaime smiled as well. He found Johanna's smile a thing of beauty as was most of her. He worried on the days she did not smile.

"If it pleases you, Uncle, if not I am sure Joffrey would be happy to."

Jaime loved his son, but he would be naive to think he was innocent. Jaime had seen the way his children looked at each other, and he knew what Joffrey's intention were with his sister. He was not aware of if any actions had been taken between them, but Cersei had warned him of their sharing of a bed. He did not want such a life for his children. Loving a sibling was tainted, it was messy and it would only lead the pair into heartbreak. Johanna was to marry, and Joffrey had his own promised wife to look after.

"It would please me, my dear."

He ah seen the jealous looks his son had given the Stark boy, and he did not doubt if Joffrey escorted Johanna it would lead to nothing but trouble. He did not want his daughter trapped in the frozen wasteland, but if she must be he wished it to be happy. He did not wish for her to suffer in the north.

"Uncle, may I ask something of you?"

Jaime saw the way his daughter shuffled, watched the way she looked at him. Something was clouding her innocent mind.

"Whatever pleases you, little lioness."

"Uncle, did you something when you were at the broken tower yesterday? I know that is where Bran had fallen and I was wondering if..you saw something?"

She was not accusing him, but in the softness of her tone he wished to confess to her. He pushed the boy, but it was to keep the secret of his love. He knew that if Robert had learned of the love he and Cersei shared it would ruin their lives. Johanna and his other children would all be put in danger, he could not allow such a thing.

"I am sorry, child, I had left before the boy began to climb. I wish I had been there, I could have helped the boy."

Everyone was aware of Johanna's soft spot for children, it had been her weakness from the time Tommen grew sick. He knew there was nothing wrong with it, but he knew she could never face the truth of the situation. Johanna was too fragile, too kind for her own good and that was at the doing of her mother. Jaime feared for what would happen to Johanna alone.

"I thought as much, I am just worried for him."

He took her small hand in his own, offering her kind smile. They sat like that for a moment, and he wished to pull her into a tight embrace but he did not. He did not wish to leave her in Winterfell alone, and he even thought of staying until she had settled. The King refused his offer, and he knew better than to argue any longer with the fat man. He stood from his seat and placed a kiss upon her golden hair before leaving her alone to her prayers.

Jaime said his own prayer before he left, a prayer for the safety of his daughter.


	6. Wedding

**Author's note: Hello! I want to put in a warning now that the interaction between Johanna and Joffrey towards the end of the chapter is borderline non-consent. I want to show that Joffrey is crazy, and in his mind he is doing nothing wrong, and in Johanna's mind as well there is nothing wrong. They are both kind of crazy. Anyway, continue on. Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Game of Thrones, or anything related to it. I own Johanna. Lyrics from I was made for loving you." By Maria mena**

* * *

 _"Tonight_

 _I want to give it all to you_

 _in the darkness_

 _there is so much I wanna do_

 _and tonight I want to lay at your feet_

 _cause boy I was made for you_

 _and boy you were made for me._ "

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Wedding**

 **Johanna**

"You look beautiful, my little lioness."

Johanna did not feel beautiful, she felt like she was going to be placed inside a tomb. Her dress was the most elegant she had ever worn. White satin fabric, with intricate red details running through it. It fit Johanna perfectly, and if it was a dress for any other occasion she would have been in awe, in love with the dress.

"Thank you, mother."

Cersei was brushing the tangles from Johanna's golden mane, letting the waves fall freely down her daughter's back. Johanna wished to enjoy the moment but she could not, panic was rising in her chest. She was going to be married, a nightmare she had been dreading since childhood. She had known for years that she was promised to a man, but she had only learned his name a month before. She had spent a day with the boy, and their last encounter ended in frozen tones. She saw no hope.

"My little lioness, you can do this, you must do this."

Her mother began to twirl strands of her hair, pulling it up and away from her sullen face. Johanna would dream of being happy on her wedding day, but in the those dreams it was Joffrey she was walking toward. In her dreams she was marrying the man who made her heart beat fast, made her body flush with need, not a stranger who stole innocent kisses from her in the middle of the woods.

"I know, mother."

Johanna felt dead inside, and she knew her tone reflected her mood. Johanna had always been a girl with a calm, collected and proper behavior but she felt her graces slipping from her now. She wanted to run, and ignore her duty.

"I don't want to marry him, I don't want to be his wife. I don't love him."

Johanna felt as if she could cry, but she would not let the tears fall from her emerald eyes. Robb Stark was not worth her tears.

"I know you do not, my love, but you must. It is your duty and a Lannister must always do their duty." Cersei continued to pull strands of Johanna's hair from her face. "You are going to be the Lady of Winterfell, my love, a title not so easily forgotten. You will have the most beautiful children, and they will grow up as you wish them to."

"I know, mother, but it does not make this easy."

Johanna knew what her mother spoke was true, but it was a horrid truth. Her mother had married a handsome man for duty once, and she found no happiness at the end of the road. Johanna had heard of their arguments from the whispers of staff. She knew her father would grope at or fuck any woman who was willing to his advances. Was her life cursed to the same fate? How could she be happy when the true man of her love was safe in their home leagues away from her?

Johanna continued to look at herself as her mother stepped back away from her, finally content with her child's hair. Johanna's golden waves fell freely past her shoulders, as they did usually, but pieces had been twisted and pulled back. Her pale face shown beautifully in the candle light, and her eyes sparkled but she found no peace in her own beauty.

"You are beautiful my child, so beautiful."

"Mother, can't you stay here for just a month longer? Can't I come back to Kings landing with you and Joffrey, please? I am going to be so alone here."

Johanna wanted nothing more than to return home.

"We can not, little lioness, we have been gone long enough as it is. We will leave in a fortnight, and even that is pushing it. You can not return, my sweet child, this will be your home now."

Johanna could hear the pain hidden deep in her mother's passive tone. She knew her mother well, she was her mother in a lot of ways. Johanna knew how to be the passive woman, but she found it hard in Winterfell to keep up her graces.

"It is not fair."

"I know, my love, but you won't be alone forever."

Johanna stood alone in the mirror as her mother went to dress herself. Johanna ran her hands over the fabric of her dress, feeling the softness under her fingers. She knew for a few moments she would be cold in the Godswood, the dark place that she did not belong in. She would marry him before the Weirwood tree, such was the North tradition. She was lucky enough to have the marriage performed in her faith of the Seven, if not it would have been the rough ceremony of the north.

"Mother, may I speak with Johanna for a moment?"

Joffrey had made an entrance into their mother's chambers. Johanna smiled when she saw him, and her heart beat heavy in her chest. Her brother wore his best red and gold garments, a lion etched into the fabric. She wished to kiss him, but their present company would not allow for such a folly.

"Joffrey, I do not.."

"Just for a moment mother, please. I wish to speak to him."

Johanna looked at her mother with a kind desperation.

"Just for a moment."

When the twins were left alone it took no time at all for Joffrey to pull Johanna against him. His lips crashed into her own with reckless fire. He kissed her as if it would be the last time, and they both knew it should be but they both knew it would not be. After her marriage Johanna should have dropped Joffrey, left him to his own wife, but she could never do such a thing.

"He will never love you like I do."

Johanna knew the truth, but she did respond to her brother. She just kissed him harder, desperate to feel him. She wanted to get lost in the taste of his lips, she wanted to be forgotten in the feel of him. She hated the idea of having to kiss another man for the rest of her life, even if she had enjoyed the warmth of Robb Stark's lips pressed to her own. Johanna pulled from Joffrey and cursed herself. She did not want to think about that kiss. It had clouded her mind for two days, and she wanted nothing more than to forget it.

"What is the matter, love?"

"I don't want to do this."

She walked away from Joffrey, walking toward the window looking over the courtyard. People were running around, no doubt getting ready for the wedding feast. Johanna had been so focused on the wedding ceremony she had forgotten all about the feast. She forgot all about having to sit with her new husband, sharing a meal, drinks and conversation. She forgot about the horrid bedding ceremony, and she knew it was much too late to argue against the savage business.

"This isn't forever, my sweet, don't fret."

Johanna turned to Joffrey with curious eyes. Marriage was the ultimate forever.

"Unless one of us dies, it is forever."

"Not when I become King, I will.."

Joffrey was cut off when the door to her mother's chambers were opened. Johanna expected to see her mother but instead it was Lord Eddard Stark. Johanna had not said a word to the Lord of Winterfell since she had given her greeting to him on their arrival.

"I am sorry if I am interrupting but your mother said you were decent, Princess."

Joffrey gave the Lord a cold glare but Johanna just cast the man a sweet smile.

"Joffrey, can you leave us? I will see you at the feast, brother."

Johanna was thankful she could still keep her graces in the face of her future father by law. She wanted to remain as kind to the Stark family as she could. They were suffering at the horror of Bran's fate, and Johanna had wondered why they even continued with the wedding. It was originally set for her eighteenth nameday, they could have pushed it back to such a time but they did not.

"Thank you, princess, I wished to speak with you alone."

"Of course, my Lord, but first I offer my condolences on Bran. I went to see him again this morning, and I continue to pray for his waking."

Johanna had found herself in the Sept for hours the day before praying for the child to wake. No matter how much she prayed it never helped. She spent hours in the morning with Lady Stark, sitting silent at the child's bedside. Holding his hand, and kissing his head.

"Thank you, princess, my wife tells me you are a great company to her." She knew his words were meant to be kind, but Johanna could hear the curt tone in his voice. "I am going to Kings Landing, this much I am sure you know, and in my absence it will fall on my wife to run Winterfell. I fear with Bran's condition she will fall short, and thus it will fall to my son."

Johanna did not speak, she just listened to the Lord. She did not know what to say. She knew he was leaving, but she did not know what his family matters had to do with you.

"As much as you are your father's blood, you are also your mothers. I know what Lannisters can be, princess, and I know my son will seek your council. It would be wise for you to keep your opinions close to your chest, you are still a stranger to the north."

"I understand, Lord Stark."

She truly did not understand but she felt it better to fake it. She did not wish to turn the discussion into something it should not have been.

"I wish to be the first to congratulate you on this glorious day, Princess Johanna." His tone switched from formal to kind and Johanna was confused. "I shall see you in the Godswood."

Johanna was left alone in her mother's chambers to think. She did not understand what Lord Stark was speaking of about her mother's family. They were kind people, who have done nothing but aided the crown for years. Her grandfather was the Hand of the King for late Aerys Targaryen, as mad as he was her grandfather had tried. Her Uncle Jaime had been in the Kingsguard for all of Johanna's life and before. He may have slayed his King but it was in an effort to spare others from burning alive. Her family stormed the city in an effort to save people that King Aerys wanted dead, but they failed. At least her family had made an effort to try and save Elia Martell and her children, not that it would have mattered. Her father would have butchered them anyway, just as he had tried to butcher the young innocent children on Dragonstone. Her father was the true monster.

Johanna stood in the mirror again, looking at herself. She was everything of her mother's blood, if it was not for her surname no one would have known she was of Baratheon blood. Her siblings were all golden haired beauties, and not a single one a fleck of Baratheon in their looks. As Johanna stared at herself she was thankful she looked nothing like her father, because she could forget for a moment she was related to a man who had no issues with killing innocent children.

"Johanna."

Johanna spun from the mirror to see the child, Arya Stark, standing in the open door way. Johanna bit the inside of her cheek at the cold, informal voice in which Arya spoke to her.

"What can I do for you, Lady Arya." Johanna would not sink to the child's level.

"This is for you."

Johanna noticed as the child held out her hands that she was holding a flower crown made of small simple white flowers. Johanna gracefully took it from the child's hand a simple smile upon her face.

"Thank you, Lady Arya. Did you make this?"

Johanna truly wondered about the child but by the abrupt laughter she knew the child had not taken the time.

"My brother did, as a gift to you, I suppose it has some hidden romantic folly attached to it. He also bid me to give you this." From behind her back the young girl pulled a single blue winter rose. "Though I don't know why he'd give it to you."

Johanna lay the crown on the bed so she could take the sweet smelling rose from the child. She once again smiled at the effort in which the Lord put in.

"Thank your brother for me, Lady Arya."

With that the child was gone and Johanna was once again alone in the chamber. She did not wish to marry Robb Stark but his way of saying sorry was quite endearing. She knew that was what the flowers were, his way of saying sorry for the kiss. He had remembered her fondness of flowers, and her interest in the blue winter rose. She was not used to someone apologizing in such a way, with Joffrey it was less subtle.

Just as Johanna placed the small flower crown upon her head, she was joined by yet another guest but this guest spelled the end for her. Her Uncle Jaime walked into the room, dressed in darling red and white matching his niece. Johanna smiled at her uncle, a real smile.

"You are more beautiful than that boy deserves, my little lioness."

"Thank you, uncle."

Johanna wished she could feel more beautiful, but even as she looked upon herself she felt nothing. She was not unattractive but in the moment of her impending wedding she felt nothing. She felt nothing but the utter terror of a life without her family beside her.

"Where did you get such a beautiful flower piece, my dear?"

Her uncle gently reached his hand out and touched the small white flowers upon her head. She looked down.

"My husband to be had it made for me, his sister Arya was kind enough to deliver it." Johanna wished she could say the girls name without feeling distaste. "She does not like me Uncle, and I fear her father feels the same for me."

"My darling Hanna, it is not you that he dislikes, believe me. Lord Eddard has a twisted view of my family, and sadly you are very much a Lannister."

Johanna closed her eyes as her uncle placed his hand upon her face, she found a comfort in his strong hand. Johanna had loved her uncle more than her own father, she always had. He was kind to her, stern with her and he listened to her. She wished he could stay with her in Winterfell, he would make the life there bearable.

"I don't want to be here without anyone, I am frightened."

"Just breath, Johanna, it is time. Be strong, be brave. You are a Lannister, and a Baratheon your blood is made of fury. Being here won't break you, if you don't let it."

Johanna took a shaking breath and linked arms with her uncle. With one last look in the mirror, Johanna followed the man from the chambers. _No one will ever break you._ Johanna repeated the sentiment in her head over and over as they walked through the courtyard to the Godswood. Robb Stark would not shake her, would not break her. She was strong in her faith, strong in her blood and strong in her love.

When she entered the Godswood Johanna was in awe of the amount of people who were standing among the path. She recognized the men who came with them but the rest were strangers. Her family's men in red and gold, while the strangers all seemed to wear grey. She felt as if they were mourning their loss, and it made her feel even more out of place. The Godswood was not her place, it was not her home.

"Uncle Jaime." Johanna wanted to run.

"Easy, lioness, easy now."

She bit her lip not looking at the end of the long path, she knew who would be standing there. She kept her eyes trained on the strangers in the crowd, scary figures of northern men and women. She clung to her uncle as her support as they walked through the wood, everyone watching them and judging her. When she saw her little sister standing with a smile upon her face, and her mother standing tall beside her Johanna finally lifted her head. She took a deep breath and held her head high. She was a lioness, and she would go with pride. She kept her gaze on her family.

She met the mirrored eyes of her twin, a wild fire burning in his gaze. She tried to smile at him, tried to give him some peace but her lips could not move. She kept his gaze until she felt her uncle give her arm a little tug. When she looked at her uncle she followed his gaze to frightening white Weirwood tree, where her future husband stood waiting.

He stood tall, and strong. His auburn hair falling softly upon his brow, his blue eyes regarding her with nothing but compassion. He was handsome, and Johanna wished her heart could beat fast. She wished she felt more for the man but it would never be. She would spent the rest of her life lying beside a man she felt nothing for.

Johanna was handed over to her future husband, a vision in dark grey. He took her hand gently in his, and for a moment she felt her heart flutter. It was not the heavy pounding she felt with Joffrey, it was just a tiny flutter. She stood beside him in front of the Weirwood tree, in front of the Septon. Their families stood behind them waiting for the union as the Septon spoke.

When the time came to speak their words Johanna turned to face her soon to be. His blue eyes met hers and for a moment a warm calm came over her but before it could last she cast a quick glance back. She caught Joffrey's eyes, and she saw the emotions he held in his gaze. For the first time in Johanna's life she was afraid of him.

"Father, Warrior, Smith, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger, I am hers and she is mine from this day until the end of my days"

"Father, Warrior, Smith, Mother, Maiden, Crone Stranger, I am his and he is mine from this day until the end of my days."

Her voice shook, and his was as solid as the ironwood trees around them. She had a single doubt if he even held nerves inside his body. The Septon spoke quickly once more before Johanna felt her husband place his hand on the small of her back. In a swift motion he pulled her close to him, placing a gentle hesitant kiss upon her lips. It was warm, sweet and as innocent as the first kiss they shared. For a moment she let their lips linger, as the cheering began behind them.

The walk to the feast was filled with her husband whispering kind words into her ear, but all Johanna could think about was the fire burning in Joffrey's eyes. She had seen her brother's angry, she had seen him jealous but never had his eyes looked so horrifying. As Robb wrapped an arm around her waist Johanna caught herself looking back to see where Joffrey was, but her eyes never found him. Robb lead her into the Great hall and the was where she managed to lose sight of him as well.

She found her husband again when he had finally sat beside her, he wore a smile and his face was flush. He took her hand as he sat beside her but Johanna did not say a word to him. She kept her gaze at the entrance , searching for any sign of her brother but he was no where to be found. As she sat her husband's people began to congratulate them, people she had never met. She was a Lady of the North now, the future Lady of Winterfell, they were her people. She graciously thanked each stranger, a forced smile upon her pink lips. Soon the Starks came to the table to congratulate the couple, and Johanna smiled at them all. She even let Rickon take a seat in her lap as they continued to thank the rest of the guests. The child was still upon her lap as her own family made their appearance.

Her father spoke more to her husband than to herself, but when her father did speak to her it was words filled with a kindness she had never witnessed of him. His mood lasted only a moment before he found a poor serving girl to grope. Her mother regarded her with kindness, a fake smile plastered upon her face, Johanna knew her mother hated the union. Her younger siblings wore smiles upon their faces. She saw the way Myrcella eyed Robb and for a regretful moment she wished her sister had been the one promised to the man. Tommen looked at Rickon with jealousy, he was no longer small enough to sit upon Johanna's lap. Her Uncle Jaime spoke mostly to Robb as well, using a sweet tone to send perfectly veiled threats at the young lord. Last was her Uncle Tyrion, a man she had barley seen in the fortnight they had been in Winterfell.

"Lord Stark if I hear your name in the brothel I have been frequenting, you will want to run."

Johanna smiled at the joking tone in her Uncle. When all else failed to make Johanna smiled, her uncle's humor was there to save the day.

"I promise you, Lord Tyrion, I will be more than faithful to my Lady."

"I would hope so, I fear what my sister will do to you if you hurt her. A lioness is always protective of their cubs, Lord Stark and a Lannister always pays their debts."

Her uncle's tone was joking but Johanna saw the seriousness in his mismatched eyes. She knew her mother would rip Robb to shreds if he ever hurt her. Once her uncle left it was just Johanna and Robb sitting at their table with food in front of them.

"I want to thank you for the flowers, it was sweet." It took a moment for Johanna to formulate what she wished to say, but her voice was calm as she spoke.

"I wanted to make up for my behavior in the Wolfswood. Jon made sure I was aware of my indiscretions."

Johanna looked for Jon in the crowd and found him sitting beside his brother Rickon, who had long since left her. He saw her looking at him and smiled at her, she thanked him with her eyes.

"Your brother is a good man, my Lord, it is a shame he is taking the black. I am sure he would make a woman very happy."

"I can agree."

Johanna found she had something out of place, because as her husband spoke she caught the hint in his voice. She had been married a mere few hours and she had already upset her Lord husband. A silence fell between them as they picked at their food. An array of meat, cheese and bread. She drank her wine in sips, while her husband drank it by the cup. He was on his fourth cup when she began to wonder how much he was like her father. Was it the drinking or more?

Their silence lasted until a shadow was cast over their table. Johanna looked up and instantly a smile grew on her. Joffrey stood before the table, a staunch look upon his face.

"I am sorry I am so late, Lord and Lady Stark, I needed some air. I want to congratulate you both on the joyous union."

Johanna heard the bitterness in her brother's tone, and she saw her mother watching from the shadows. He was only there because she had told him to be, Johanna knew that. If her mother had not intervened her brother would have skipped the feast all together.

"Prince Joffrey, there is no need to apologize. I can understand the need for a moment alone, you did just watch your twin get married. Must be hard losing such a close family member."

The tension between the two was growing, and before Joffrey could fire back Johanna opened her mouth.

"Thank you, brother. It means the world to me to have your well wishes on such a happy day."

Her voice held her sweetness, but her eyes were begging him to calm himself. The wild fire look in his eyes was still frightening her, and she knew he would cause a scene.

"All my well wishes go to you, my dear sister." She wanted to see him smile, but there was nothing. "Lord Stark, do you mind if I borrow my sister for a quick dance? It does not seem like you plan to do so."

"If it would please my Lady wife, then of course, you may."

Johanna took her brother's hand across the table, and made her way to join him. He lead her to a space where people had found themselves dancing, and having a good time. Johanna was pulled against her brother, a smile upon his face. All Johanna wanted was to see her brother smile.

"I want to kill him." He whispered.

"You can't, Joff, please. Be calm for me."

As they danced Johanna could feel every eye in the room looking at them, judging them. She did not care it was an innocent dance with her twin brother. He held her closely but he made sure to make it look innocent, as his hand rested upon the mid of her back. The dance lasted a long moment before he pulled from her.

"Find me tonight, dear sister." He kissed her upon the cheek before finding the rest of her family. Johanna stood in the middle of the room for a moment before she made her way back to where her husband sat, a curious look in his blue eyes.

The children had been put to bed, Lady Stark had made her exit and almost every person left in the hall was drunk, save Johanna and her mother. Robb was drunk, Johanna could hear it in the way his words slurred together. A small voice in her mind hoped that in his drunken state he would not be able to perform in the marriage bed. Her hopes had faded when her husband started the call for the bedding ceremony, she grew nervous. Johanna saw the men approach her as the women did the same for her husband. She was surprised to see Jon Snow at the front of the group of men, he was the one who pulled her from her chair.

Johanna tried to be calm as she was stripped of her clothing, horrid jokes being told around her. The men said such crude things to her. Theon had warned her that by tomorrow she would have forgotten how to walk, and other men spoke of the wolf blooded nature of the Starks. She tried to cover herself as she was carried into her husband's bed chambers, but it was nearly impossible with all the hands placed upon her. As she was being laid in the bed next to her naked husband she felt a gentle touch on her hand, and as she looked up she saw a gently smile coming from her Uncle Jaime. He was the last man to put a hand upon her. It was not long before the two were left alone in the bedroom.

"They aren't going to leave are they?" She whispered to him as he hovered over her, the voices of the men still coming from outside.

"Not until they know we have consummated the marriage, love."

Johanna cringed inwardly at him calling her love, she wanted the whole ordeal to be over with. She looked way, staring at the wall as she felt his lips find her neck. She ignored him as he kissed down to her breasts, letting his kisses travel across her. She did not make a sound, and she could feel his blue eyes boring into her. She could almost hear the man sigh in frustration before she felt him pull her hips up closer to his own.

"Do you know what you are doing?" She asked, hesitance in her voice.

"I believe so, but it will hurt and for that I am sorry."

He did not say another word, and Johanna cast her eyes back to the wall. She could not look in his eyes, he was not Joffrey. He was not the man who should have taken her. She should have let Joffrey take her, she regretted her decision to deny her brother. There was a pause for a moment before Johanna felt him push himself inside of her.

She let out a cry of pain, she had never experienced such a pain. Her body began to shake, and she fought back tears as the man buried himself inside of her.

"I am sorry, love, I am sorry." He was whispering as he kept his body crushed into her own.

Johanna did not say a word as she continued to lay there. In a moment he began to move, the pain searing through her with each thrust of his hips. She did not cry out again, she was willing it all to be over. She wanted to rid herself of the feeling of him inside of her. His thrusts became more urgent, and soon his hands were gripping her hips where bruises had long since faded from Joffrey. She felt as if her husband could leave new bruises upon her skin with his grip. As his motions continued the pain in her body changed, and something else come over her.

A moan escaped her lips as his hips met her own, and Johanna felt herself blush. She refused to enjoy it, and so she blocked out the feeling of him. Soon all she felt was the slap of his flesh against her own and soon the only sound she heard was the grunts coming from him. In time he pulled himself from her after spilling his seed inside of her. Johanna lay shaking on the bed, tears coming back to her eyes. She felt sore, she felt like her body was on fire and she just wanted to disappear. If the pain was not enough, as soon as he pulled himself from her, Robb was up getting dressed. She watched him as he pulled on britches, before leaving her alone in his bed. Johanna wanted to scream but instead she laid there for a moment thinking.

Johanna laid there for moments waiting to see if her husband would return and when he didn't she found a robe that had been laid out for her. She wrapped herself in it, taking one glance at the bloody sheets, aware that her legs would no doubt hold the evidence of the innocence taken from her. She crept from the bed chamber, finding the hall empty. She made her way into the guest quarters, careful not to be seen. She found herself slipping into her brother's chambers.

"My love are you alright?" She heard her brother's voice, but she was too shaken to speak.

Johanna threw herself into her brother's arms, her tears falling freely from her emerald eyes. She had no fantasies of what her wedding night would be, but she did not imagine being left bloody in her husband's bed. Her brother held her close to his bare chest, his voice whispering soothing words into her ears.

"What happened, love, what did he do to you?"

"He just left, he used me and left me there. It hurt so much Joff, it was horrible. I should have let you.."

"Hush now, sister, hush." He placed his finger upon her quivering lips. "I am sorry he hurt you so, and he will pay for that my love."

Johanna let her brother lead her to his bed, but she knew she could not stay. It did not stop her from crawling into the middle of his bed and laying down, wishing to never leave. Joffrey hovered over her, his body completely rid of clothing. Johanna looked to her brother with wide eyes, but he did not say a word. He leaned down and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. Johanna returned it, letting herself deepen the kiss and giving herself over to passion. Joffrey untied the robe blocking her body from his eyes, letting his hands run over her naked skin.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, my love."

He kissed her again, letting his tongue find hers. Johanna closed her eyes, as he let his hands graze down her body. Johanna felt herself melt into his touch as he gently spread her legs apart. She became alarmed as her brother found the mess in between her legs. She knew it must have been a mix of blood, wetness and her husband. She tried to close her legs, but his hands prevented her.

"I am going to make you forget all about that pain, sister, I want this to be good for you."

She felt her brother slide a finger inside of the wetness, a sick feeling reaching her. Johanna kept her gaze on her brother nonetheless. He let his finger explore inside of her, a slight pain stinging Johanna. Her body was sore, much too sore.

"Joff."

Her brother silenced her by placing a kiss upon her lips, an innocent kiss. Joffrey's kisses had never been innocent, their love had never been innocent.

"Let me help you."

She felt her brother position himself above where he drew his finger from inside her, her body began to shake. She was not ready for it to hurt again, and she gently pushed her brother's chest. Unlike last time he did not move, he kept himself poised above her.

"Calm, my love, I am going to show you how it should be."

Johanna felt calm at the sound of her brother's voice but she still shook. She knew that once they crossed the line there was not going back. They had never had sexual relations, and once they did she was a more than just a woman who shared love with her brother. She would have stepped out on her husband, and had sex with her own kin.

With a swift motion her brother pushed himself into her center and once more Johanna felt nothing but pain. She was still sore from the last encounter she had.

"Joffrey, wait please it hurts. I don't want this."

Her pleas went unheard by her brother, he silenced her with a small glance. He did not stop as her husband had, he kept going at a fast pace. There was not apologizing for the pain, there was no break for her comfort. Joffrey kept thrusting himself inside of her, and in a matter of moments he let himself spill his seed inside of her. Johanna wanted throw up, but instead she lay there as her brother crushed his body against hers He left himself buried inside her and Johanna felt tears in her eyes.

"I am sorry, my love. I just did not want your first memory of love making to be so horrid."

"I know love."

"It is better now though, right? You feel better, my sweet."

Johanna wanted to tell him the truth, but she bit her tongue.

"Of course, my sweet. Thank you for giving me such an experience."

She felt empty as he brother pulled himself from her. She felt used. Her husband had used her, left her and her brother did not listen to her. She knew Joffrey meant well but Johanna could not help but feel his jealousy had clouded his judgment.

"You should get back before he does. Just remember, my love, you are mine."

Her brother kissed her upon her head. Johanna smiled to herself, forgiving her brother once more for his misgivings. He had intended the night to be good, and she could not hold that against him.

"And you are mine, brother."

* * *

 **Robb.**

"Brother?" Robb did not turn his head from the heart tree. "You were the last person I expected to see here tonight."

Jon approached him with caution, Robb had not made a move to look at his brother but he could hear the way he walked.

"Well I am here, brother."

He knew his voice was cold, but he did not know what to say. He had been praying in the wood for over an hour. Searching for some kind of strength to endure the marriage put in front of him. Before the feast, before the bedding, he had so much hope for them but there was no hope left. Johanna did not like him, he knew that.

"What troubles you, Robb, and don't you dare say I am wrong in my assumption."

He hated that his brother saw everything, he wished he had such intuition. It seemed like Jon knew more about everyone than they knew about themselves and it was frustrating for Robb.

"She resents me and it has only been hours. She can't look at me,Jon, can't speak to me."

Robb had waited his whole life to marry Johanna, he had been thinking about knowing her for years. He once was told she would come to Winterfell when she was six, but it never happened and as a child he had been crushed. When the time came for her to visit he had been so happy, but the wedding had come and she could not be any unhappier.

"She is giving up a lot to be here, Robb. Think of moving to Kings Landing alone, and living with her family. Could you do that?"

"No."

He knew she was giving up her whole life to marry him, but he was not to blame for that. He felt horrid that she had to leave her blood, but he had not planned the wedding. Her father had made the alliance the day she came from her mother's womb. She had to let that go, and stop blaming him.

"You have seen her with her siblings, with our own siblings, blood is important to her Robb. She is much like us, and to be taken from her kin can not be easy."

"That isn't my fault, Jon. I didn't ask for this marriage, her father and our father made it happen. The least she could do is try."

Robb felt his blood boiling in his skin. He was angry, and he was unsure of who his anger was directed at. He did not know if he was angry at their parents, at her or at himself.

"Are you trying? What have you done to make her want to try?"

"I tried to get to know her the first night we met, and it had gone so well. And then she did not speak to me for a fortnight. I tried to take her for a walk which only lead to her yelling at me, I gave her flowers and.."

"You ignored her on that walk, she was going to leave either way. She spent her time speaking to me, which I am sure for a princess was not much fun."

Robb knew he was to blame for the walk. He had full intentions to speak with her, but Theon had offered him wine and the prospect of a hunt. He was bitter over Bran's fall, he still was, and he wanted a distraction. He wanted to speak with her, he had so much to say to her. He fell short.

"I just wish it to be like our father and my mother. Jon, they were forced to marry after my uncle died. They did not love each other, did not even really know each other, and yet they are madly in love. Even with my father's infidelity my mother stands beside him in love."

"Did that happen overnight? Did our father come from war to a woman who loved him, or to a woman who despised him for having a child? It took them time, and it will take you time. You have your whole life to gain her love. You need to focus on gaining her trust." Jon's voice was even but his tone strong. "I don't know if you have noticed but her family hovers over her like she is a broken bird, they act as if she steps the wrong way she will break. She is sheltered, she won't last here if you don't gain her trust."

He had seen the way her family acted around her, and the way she acted around her family. He had watched her with his siblings, always standing at a far enough distance, and he had seen the way the King Slayer watched her. If it was not the King Slayer, the Queen was there hovering over her child. What got to Robb the most was Joffrey, the damned Prince, when he came around Johanna she became a shell. The first night at the feast he had gotten her to smile, to joke with him, but as soon as the Prince came she was a stranger to him again. He did not know what her family's motives were with her, but she could not remain their protected cub forever.

"I know you are right, brother, you always are." Robb stood from the ground, his body aching from kneeling for so long. "I should try and speak with her shouldn't I?"

"Did you leave her alone in your marriage bed?"

"I did, it was with out honor."

"Then go regain your honor, brother, and go seek your wife's forgiveness for this night."

He followed his brother's advice and made his way back to his chambers. He was used to spending his nights alone in an empty bed, and he wondered if he could even sleep beside a woman. He wondered if she would even be there, or if she had sought out her guest chambers once more. All his questions were answered when he opened his door to see his golden haired wife laying in his bed. Her eyes were closed but he knew she was not sleeping. He had seen his sister fake sleep enough to learn the tells.

"Johanna, may we speak?"

Robb watched her as he stood at the foot of the bed, he watched her waiting for some kind of movement. It took a minute before the woman sat up, her golden hair covering her chest from his view.

"What do you wish to speak on, my Lord."

"Stop, that has to stop. We are married you can not continue to treat me like I am just some dumb Lord now."

Robb hated that she could not let her formality go for one damned minute. She made him feel like he would never fit into her perfect princess world.

"Why should I? You used me and left me like a common whore. Why should I not address you as if I was?"

Robb could hear her voice raising and he winced at her words. She had been so soft spoken around everyone else but yet she found no issue in hollering at him.

"I am sorry about that, just listen to me, I can explain."

"I don't want to hear it. It's late, we both had a long night, let's just sleep."

Her voice dropped back to passive in a second flat and Robb saw the way her eyes filled with regret. She did not like yelling. He did not wish to keep pushing her, but he did not want their first night to end in anger. Robb went to speak again but she was already facing the wall, her back to his side of the bed.

"We will speak on this again, Johanna." He let out a sigh removing his shirt and cloak before slipping into bed beside her.

Robb thought of touching her, thought of wrapping her in his arms but he did no such thing. He rolled away from her as well and forced himself to close his eyes. Jon's words rang in his head, but it was much easier for his brother to say the words than it was for Robb to act upon them. Johanna may have been sweet, naive and sheltered but there was a fury lying beneath all the gentleness.

* * *

 **A/N: I know it's a long chapter but I wanted the wedding/wedding night in one chapter. Also I know the her version of the sack of Kings Landing is totally not the true story, I know. It is meant to be that way for now. It plays into how sheltered Cersei has kept her child, and in the next chapter you will find out why she is so sheltered.**


	7. North

**Author's note: Hello! I want to start by thanking you all for the positive reviews they truly make me smile. I also hope this story ends up being to your liking. I also want to say thank you for all the follows and favorites.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Game of Thrones, or the books A Song of Ice and Fire. I own only Johanna. Lyrics are Summertime sadness by Lana Del Rey**

* * *

 _"Kiss me hard before you_

 _Summertime sadness_

 _I just wanted you to know_

 _That,baby, you're the best"_

* * *

 **Chapter 6: North.**

 **Johanna**

Almost a fortnight had passed since her wedding night and nothing had been resolved between the two. She would ignore him for the day, and shun his touch in the bed at night. She knew Robb was being driven mad by her behavior but Johanna could not be nice any longer. Everyone had a snapping point, and he seemed to bring out hers. When he would fall asleep, when she could no longer stand pretending, she would find herself back in Joffrey's chambers. She would find herself giving away to the thralls of pleasure with her brother buried deep inside of her.

Johanna would creep back into Robb's chambers right after she made love to her brother, and she would pretend to sleep beside her husband. Johanna felt guilt each morning, she had never planned to me a adulteress. It was not her intention to betray her husband, but she could not stand laying beside him. He would try to touch her, try to kiss her, and she would push him from her. She would hear him curse her under his breath, but never once did he speak against her.

On her family's last day in Winterfell Johanna found herself in a needlepoint lesson with her sister and the daughters of Eddard Stark. The lesson would have been more enjoyable if Sansa had not been spewing words over Joffrey, and how excited she was. She would be going to the capitol, she would be marrying the prince. She would be living the life Johanna wanted. Johanna was the damned Princess she should have gotten what she wanted not the Stark girl. Johanna's jealousy was a bitter thing.

"Arya, come back here. Arya, don't take another step."

Johanna looked up from her own needlework of blue winter roses to see the wild child of Lord Stark walking toward the exit. She had a fiery look upon her face, but her eyes held tears. Johanna had not been paying attention to the conversation between the Septa and child but she was sure it was unkind. Arya did not stop instead she left the room with a defiant nature.

"Septa Mordane, I will go after her, do not fret."

"Princess I can not.."

"It's Lady now, Septa, and I am Stark now so I will go find her."

Johanna kept her tone soft but she held bitterness in her mouth. She did not wish to be a Stark, but it was the way her life had become. She not only a Baratheon but a Stark. Her children would be Starks.

Johanna left the room in search of the wild child. Arya made it apparent to Johanna that she not fond of her, and Johanna did not mind it. She could understand why the girl did not like her, they could not have been more opposite. Arya was everything Johanna would never, and could never be. It took some time to find the girl, but when she did Johanna approached with caution.

"Lady Arya, Jon Snow." She found the two on the bridge over looking the training area. It was Jon that turned to her.

"Princess, to what do we owe this pleasure?" Jon had a smile upon his lips.

"I was sent to retrieve your sister, she has run from her lessons."

The girl in question spun on her heels, fire in her grey eyes.

"I am not going back there, and you can't make me. You may have married my brother but that does not make you my family."

Johanna did not flinch at the harsh tone in which Arya spoke. Instead she did nothing but smile at the girl.

"I understand that, Lady Arya."

"It's Arya, not Lady Arya."

That was the girl's final word before she turned back to the training. Jon tried to give Johanna kind smile but she saw the laughter hidden in his eyes. He thought the way his sister treated her was funny. She wanted to run but when she heard Joffrey's voice carry from the yard she could not help but be curious. She found herself standing beside Jon looking over into the yard below, it was full of people. She caught of a group of squires who had been quite fond of her brother, the fighter. She saw her younger brother Tommen sitting on the side his breathing heavy and she did not doubt he had just fought someone. Her eyes found the man speaking at the moment, a round, strong older man. The last two people in the yard were facing each other, as if ready to fight.

"They aren't going to fight are they?"

"They have been a few times this morning, Princess. Your brother is not half bad."

Jon answered her question and Johanna felt unease in her. She knew they did not like each other, and she worried the two men would fight with anger even in a practice.

"I wish to fight with live steel, I am sick of swatting at you Stark."

"I do believe it was you who received more swats, Joff."

Johanna gripped the sill in front of her, her body on edge. The anger shared between the two was masked in humor but Johanna knew differently. She knew given the chance Joff would not stop from cutting Robb Stark down, no matter who watched.

"I have to stop this nonsense." She whispered to herself.

"They won't use real swords,Princess, no one will risk your brother's life."

As much as she worried for Joffrey's life she knew Robb was honorable, he would not cut down the Prince in the middle of a courtyard, her brother was not as honorable. His anger would always win over everything. She watched as the man told the boys live steel would not go. When she saw the Hound step to the man in her brother's defense she found herself walking to the courtyard with purpose.

Every eye was on her as she entered the courtyard, a fake smile plastered upon her features. She glanced once at her brother before her gaze was glued to her husband. She approached him as he held a wooden sword in his hands, and a fire in his blue eyes. When their eyes met the fire died and was replaced with a look of hesitation.

"My love, may we speak." Johanna had never called him anything beyond his own name, and the words spilled poison into her own mouth.

"Of course, Johanna. Let us step from the training circle."

She did not take her husband's hand instead she walked ahead of him into the shadows and stood waiting for him. He took slow lazy steps toward her, and Johanna felt herself being driven mad. Robb Stark was the only person in the Seven Kingdoms who could drive her into madness, and she knew he was beginning to enjoy it.

"Did you come to stop your brother from drawing his sword against me, Johanna?" She looked down as he questioned her. "I can handle your brother, I am sure of that."

"I do not doubt that,Robb. I actually came to ask you something, I was going to wait until later but this seemed appropriate."

Her husband regarded her with curiosity, and hesitation. Johanna had ignored him for days, she did not even remember the last word she had truly spoken to him. She was almost sure it was a good night, a week earlier.

"What does my Lady wife seek of me?"

"My Uncle Tyrion is headed north to the Wall, he wishes to see it. I was wondering if my husband would be so kind as to let me accompany him on the journey."

She knew the chances of him letting her go were slim but she wanted it so much. Her Uncle Tyrion was the only one she had spent little time with in Winterfell, and he was the last family she would have a chance to see in some time. Once her family went south it could be years before she saw them again. She looked into her husband's blue eyes and watched as the wheels ran in his head.

"I do not believe that trip is wise for you."

"Please, I want this. I will be careful, I need you to trust me."

Johanna almost flinched at the harsh laugh he let out.

"How can I, when you shut me out, you ignore me and disregard me as if I was nothing more than the wind when I speak to you? If you want something than we must compromise."

Johanna pulled at her dress and looked away form her husband. She knew he was right, she had been colder to him than she should have been. She was finding her comfort in another man, her brother. She did not long for her husband's touch because she was getting it where she truly wished to.

"Okay, you are right. We can compromise. What do you wish for in return for letting me go north?"

"Let me touch you. By the Gods the woman we have been married a fortnight and I have not been able to touch you since our marriage night." He nearly growled.

Johanna met his eyes and she could see the desperation in them. He only wished to touch her because he thought she was beautiful, if she was ugly she knew he would not be bothered by her behavior.

"You can touch me, I will also try and speak with you more."

"That is all that I ask. I know this was not what you wished for in life, but it is what we must do."

Johanna stood there as Robb stepped closer to her, closing what distance remained between them. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, and for a moment she was calm. He placed his fingers under her chin, and just like in the woods he placed his warm lips against hers. She did not pull away and for a brief moment she pressed her lips back against his own. She felt a smile form on his lips as they kissed, causing her to blush and pull away from him.

"I am having dinner with my family tonight, I shall see you after."

Johanna left her husband standing there as she walked back toward the castle. As she walked past the training area she saw that her brother had long since excused himself, and Johanna did not doubt the kiss had been the cause of his retreat. She knew she would hear about it when she found herself in his bed later, but for a moment she let herself linger on the kiss. Robb was never harsh when he kissed her, his lips never felt rushed. He was such an innocent soul, so unlike her brother. She found herself ashamed to enjoy the kisses of Joffrey over the kisses of her kind husband.

* * *

"I don't know if you coming with me is such a good idea, Johanna, it is a rough road."

Johanna took a bite of her meat, giving her Uncle Tyrion a cold stare. She needed to go to the Wall with him, she needed it. She would lose her family on the morrow, and she wanted just a little time with the last person she could. She could not go south, so she could at least enjoy a journey north with him.

"I agree with him, my little lioness. I can not travel easy while I worry for you."

When her mother spoke Johanna knew she was serious, but she also knew her mother would worry either way. Her mother hated the union between the wolf and the stag, or lion as she called Johanna, and she would always worry for eldest daughter.

"It is a short time I will be gone, and I will be back here in no time. Mother, do not fret I will have Uncle to keep me company."

"Let her go, sister, she will enjoy seeing something beyond the walls of this grey place."

Johanna gave her Uncle Jaime a thankful smile, at least he could understand why she wanted to leave. She dreaded being alone in the halls of a place that was another's home. She may have spent a month among the people of Winterfell, but a month did not make a place a home. Her home was and forever would be, Kings Landing.

"Jaime, do not encourage her to do wild things. My daughter is a proper woman and going to the Wall is not proper. She has no place among those men."

"Mother, please I will be as proper as they come. You know me, and you know you can trust me. I am not going for the men, I am going to spend time with my blood one last time."

Her mother let out a sigh but she did eventually agree. Johanna continued to eat her meal happily. She spoke to her younger siblings as she did, ignoring Joffrey as he placed a hand upon her thigh under the table. She kept her smile as she spoke to Myrcella about the issue at needlepoint, and she laughed with Tommen as he spoke about his sparring with the boys. She knew Tommen was not a solider, he was much like her and Myrcella, he was much too soft. Johanna saw nothing wrong with Tommen being a soft, gentle man. Joffrey would be the King one day and he had enough spirit to rule a Kingdom, better than their father could anyway.

After dinner Johanna excused herself and found her way once more the Sept. She would pray for the safe travels of her family, and pray for the safe travel to the Wall. Johanna would pray for Bran, just as she had each day since his fall. She worried greatly that the boy had yet to wake, and she worried for the effect it had on Lady Stark. The woman grew more tired with each passing day, and she found no comfort in company. When Johanna would visit the boy they sat in silence, neither speaking a single word to the other. She could only hope that her mother by law found some comfort in her, found some hope in having someone to pray beside her in the late hours of sorrow.

When Johanna returned to the chambers she shared with her husband it was late, and the moon was already high in the night sky. She almost hoped he was asleep so she could once again go seek comfort in her brother one last time but when she entered the chambers it was empty. She wondered where he could be, but she had no answer to her own question. She took the night dress laid out for her and found herself in bed. She thought of sleeping, but she had to make sure she saw Joffrey one last night.

"I am sorry, I did not think you would be back before me."

Johanna looked up to see Robb entering the room, his hair was wet a and their was a towel wrapped around his waist. It took her only a moment to realize he had bathed, but he had made the choice to bathe somewhere other than their own chamber.

"It is alright, Robb."

She trained her eyes away from him, so he could remove his towel. She had shared a marriage bed with her husband but she had seen bare only once and even then she did not look. She tried to keep her eyes from him but as he climbed into bed she cast a quick glance over not expecting him to still be naked. Johanna looked back to the ceiling her face turning red.

"Johanna." His voice was soft and gentle as rolled her body to look at him.

She tried not to look at him, but his hand was touching his face gently. He guided her face to look him in the eye.

"Yes, Robb?"

He did not say a word, he leaned forward and kissed her lips. It was not as gentle as the kiss they shared in the courtyard, instead Johanna felt the need in his kiss. For a moment she hesitated but she dropped her defense and kissed him back. She was gentle, she did not match his passion but she gave him some clue that the kiss was alright. He let his lips move from hers to travel down to her neck, and as he did she understood what he was seeking. Johanna let the man kiss his way down her neck, almost getting lost in the warmth.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered his words against her skin as he moved to hover over her.

She knew his intention, and she knew she could deny him. She knew she could tell him no but she had done that for a fortnight.

"If you are going to do this, you can't leave me alone in this bed again."

Her voice was soft but full of conviction. She felt guilty for holding that night against him, but she could not help it. She felt horrid because she had left his bed that night to make love with her own brother, and she had left his bed every night since.

"I promise you that will never happen again, love."

She allowed him to run his hands up her thighs, letting him bunch the skirt of her dress around her waist. She helped him remove her small clothes, leaving her womanhood bare for him. She felt shame as his hand ran over her, feeling the slickness that had formed in between her legs. Johanna could not deny her physical attraction to her husband, but the love was what she lacked.

When Robb pushed himself inside of her, she felt no pain only pleasure. She tried to block out the feeling of him but it was much harder. His body was pressed against her own as he moved inside of her. His breath was warm against her neck. He shifted his position, moving his hands to grip her hips gently, and Johanna felt herself moving with him. It was not long before she felt a wave of pleasure crash over her, she had to bite her cheek to keep from letting her brother's name slip from her in pleasured moans.

"Thank you." He whispered as he lay beside her.

Johanna did not respond, he did not need to thank her. She had spent the moments of passion imaging the times she let her brother have his way with her. Her husband was so gentle, so loving as he pushed himself inside of her and Johanna found it sweet, but her lover was different. Her brother was urgent in the way he made love to her, he was forceful, and rough. Johanna found comfort in the touch of her brother.

Robb tried to wrap his arms around her but Johanna bid him not to. She watched as he rolled to his side and fell asleep like most nights. She regretted for a moment, she regretted pushing him away. He had made love to her and she shunned him after, she was no better than he was. She lay awake while he drifted off into a satisfied slumber, and when she was sure he was out for the night she left him laying in their bed.

It took no time for Johanna to find herself sitting upon her brother with him buried deep inside of her. She had never allowed herself to be on top of him, but she felt a burning need for him the could not be suppressed. She placed her hands upon her brother's bare chest as she continued to ride her brother slowly, enjoying the feeling of him inside of her. When he grew tired of her gentle, slow pace, Johanna found herself on her hands and knees on the bed. Her brother thrusting himself inside of her with his hands grasped firmly on her hips.

He was not gentle,and Johanna found herself wincing a few times at the lack of regard her brother had for her. She eventually let herself give over to pleasure, the feeling washing over her as he pushed himself inside her deeper.

"You are mine."

Johanna was dressing when her brother spoke, a fire in his eyes. She smiled and kissed him.

"Forever, my love."

Her brother joined her in dressing. She was surprised because normally he would lay in his bed naked waiting for her to leave.

"I have something for you, you must drink it."

Johanna was confused when her brother brought her a cup of cold tea. She looked upon him in confusion.

"I am sorry brother but I do not find myself thirsty."

"It is moon tea my love. You don't wish to have a child now do you?"

Johanna looked at her brother in shock. She could not believe he tried to give her the whore's drink. She knew what moon tea was, her mother taught her of it when she asked why her father had no other children. She explained to Johanna that all the whores her father had relations with were smart enough to drink moon tea, the liquid will kill any seed inside a woman.

"I want children, more than anything, you know that." Johanna's voice held sadness as her twin looked upon with anger.

"You can't have his children, I won't allow it."

"And if it is your child that would form inside me? Would have me risk that?"

Johanna felt a simple fire burning inside her. She wanted children, she did not care if they belonged to Robb Stark or not.

"I want you to have my children but that is a sin even we can not commit, not yet. When you come home to me, you can have all the children you wish. No one will ever question us."

Johanna did not believe in her brother's fantasy ideal. She wanted nothing more than to be with him, but he had it stuck in his head that when he became King she would be able to be his. She knew even he would not have that kind of power.

"I won't drink it, I am sorry brother."

Johanna felt her brother grip her shoulders tightly, his face inches from her own. She saw the flashes of wild fire once more, and fear crept into her heart.

"I will not allow you to give birth to his damned pups."

"Joffrey, I won't drink it now or ever. If I am meant to have children I will."

She tried to wretch herself from her brother's grip but she failed to do so. He held her tighter, his eyes burning into her own. She knew she would back down, but she knew she would never drink the tea.

"Joff, my love, if you love me you will understand. I love you, and only you. No child given to me by him will change that. You have to believe me."

She reached out to gently touch his cheek, willing her brother to calm himself. He let go of her shoulders just to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her body to his.

"I am sorry, sister, I just can't stand the thought of him touching you. I won't be here to be with you, and I hate it."

"I know my love, but as you say it won't be forever. When you are King, I will be beside you once more, no matter what anyone says."

With a kiss she was gone, and back in her own chambers. Like every night her husband lay sleeping, unaware of her absence. Johanna slid into bed beside her still naked husband before she slowly allowed herself to curl against him. His warmth filled her body and she let her eyes finally close.

* * *

Johanna had said her goodbye to everyone in her family,save her brother. Her mother kissed her upon the head, and bid her to be good. She told Johanna that she would be missed. Her father had kept it short before he moved on from her. The children were the hardest for Johanna to say farewell to. She did not cry but that did not need mean the tears were not threatening to fall. She had taken care of them for years, and she had to let that go for her own future. She hugged both her siblings tight to her, and she refused to let them go easily. Saying goodbye to her Uncle Jaime was easier, he lifted her off the ground and kissed her cheek. He told her to be brave, and to be strong. The hardest goodbye was Joffrey.

"I will miss you, my sweet sister." His voice was soft but she heard the bitter tone, she knew he was still sore over the moon tea.

"I shall miss you too, do not doubt I will be there for your wedding. I can not miss the chance to see you get married."

Her own tone was bitter as they hugged each other tight. Johanna felt the looks they were receiving but she did not care. Seven hells it was the last time she would see him for sometime, they could give her at least that.

"I love you, my sweet." His voice was barely audible.

"I love you too."

She left her brother to mount his horse, left her family to make their way home. Johanna did not wish to look back as she headed for her husband, she would say farewell to him as well. He was allowing her to go the Wall, to give her one last chance to be with her own blood. She found him standing beside Jon Snow, a bundle in his arms.

"Jon, I don't mean to interrupt but do you mind if I steal him?" She smiled at Jon.

"Be my guest, I said my farewell. He is your husband after all."

Johanna took Robb's hand and lead him away from his brother. She smiled at him.

"Thank you again for letting me do this, I should be back soon."

"It is the least I can do for my wife." His smile was genuine, so true. "I must admit I will miss you around here. You bring a light this place has not seen in some time."

Johanna felt herself blush, and let a giggle spill from her lips. He was a kind man.

"Thank you."

She went to hug him, but he stopped her. He handed her the bundle in his arms, a black cloak with a light fir trim.

"This is for you, it is cold up there I do not doubt. As I once told you I would hate for you to freeze to death."

She let a true laugh come forth, and she took the cloak from him placing it upon her body. She did not thank him all she did was lean up and kiss him. She did not give him time to return the kiss, or even think on the kiss because she pulled away from him. She went to meet her Uncle Tyrion without even looking back at her husband but she did catch the fleeting glance of a green eyed, golden haired man who held only anger in his eyes.


	8. Love isn't so fickle

**Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews! They are so sweet. Thank you all for the follows and favorites as well. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones or the books A song of Ice and Fire. I own Johanna. Lyrics from Fix a heart by Demi Lovato.**

* * *

 _"I only want the best for you_

 _and if I'm not the best for you than you're stuck_

 _I tried to sever ties and I_

 _ended with wounds to bind_

 _like you're pouring salt in my cuts"_

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Love isn't so fickle.**

 **Johanna**

"He promises to tell me of my mother the next time I see him."

Johanna enjoyed talking to Jon Snow on the road north, she found good company in him. It helped that her Uncle too enjoyed poking the wolf. Johanna's reason for enjoying his company were less about poking poor Jon and more about curiosity. She had truly never met a bastard, let alone one that lived with their Lord father. She also had a growing curiosity about her husband.

"Well I do indeed hope he tells you, Jon. As a woman who wants to be a mother I would hate to think of a child growing old without knowledge of who gave birth to them"

"I thank you, Princess."

She had not known whether to ask him to drop the Princess part, she felt odd calling him Jon while he had to refer to her as Princess, or Lady. She would not have minded if he called her Johanna, she was starting to grow attached to the black haired boy.

After three days they ended up in the wolfswood, farther north then she had ever been in though. It was cold even with a fire burning and Johanna had to keep her cloak pulled tight around her. Johanna was not built for the snow, she was built for the sun. Jon began to mock her as she sat frozen, but it was not long before he turned instead to mock her Uncle Tyrion. She found comfort in the fact he too froze.

"Uncle Tyrion, why did you have to bring guards with you? IsBenjen not enough protection, along with Jon and Ghost. Jon is quite the fighter I hear."

"Because I am a Lannister, my dear, and we must always have our guards. Also how could I bring a princess among thieves and not bring some protection for her."

Johanna smiled as her uncle ruffled her hair. She was sitting as close to him as possible, watching Jon Snow sit before them. He was eying his uncle, who had not even spoken since they had begun their journey. Johanna only knew he was a Stark because Jon had told her so, if she did not know she would have taken him for some common man. He seemed bitter and sour, Johanna did not much like his company. He held the same look in his eyes as Lord Stark had when he regarded her, like she was someone who did not belong in his sights.

"Who are they?" Johanna whispered to her uncle as three men joined their group.

"Well the man in all black would be a brother of the Night's Watch, my dear, and my guess the other two are recruits like the bastard here."

Johanna looked the man in black over, he looked horrifying. She quickly looked away, he was not a sight she wished to behold. The other two with him had rope tied around their wrists, and they eyed her with curiosity.

"I am Yoren, my Lady, if you wish to know."

Johanna was shocked when the man in black spoke to her.

"I did not mean any offense, sir, I just.."

"It is alright, Johanna, you do not need to apologize to him." Her uncle placed on his smaller hands upon hers. "You are much too polite, even for a princess."

She blushed at her uncle's words and turned her attention to Jon. She began a conversation with him while she heard the men with tied wrists begin speaking. She heard her name mentioned but she did not make a move to look in their direction. She had heard the man ,Yoren, mention the word rapers when speaking about them to her uncle, and the last thing Johanna wanted to do was give them her attention.

Even though she denied the two boys her attention it did not stop them from trying to give it to her. As they continued their travels north they did nothing but try to speak with her. Johanna just held her head high and ignored them, she would talk to Jon instead. She spent most of her time speaking with Jon, her uncle had grown cranky. She knew riding was uncomfortable for him, and even after a week Johanna had grown sore. She did not speak on it though, she was the only woman in the group and she did not wish to draw their attention to her weakness. It was bad enough that Benjen Stark seemed to be judging her ever move, her every word.

* * *

Johanna had grown ill by the eighteenth night, a small sickness having reached her that morning. By the time they made camp she wished to do nothing but sleep. She had no energy, her body felt like it would dissolve around her.

"Are you sure you are alright?" Jon took a seat beside her at camp, having his wolf curl up at her feet. Johanna forced a smile.

"I am well."

It was a lie, she felt horrid. Her body was screaming, and everything in her wanted to turn around. She knew she should, but she did not wish to leave her Uncle Tyrion.

"I can tell you are not." She had grown to hate his all knowing attitude. "Here, drink some water."

She gladly drank from his waterskin, the feeling of the water making her feel good. She laid against the tree her eyes slowly closing. Johanna was so tired, she wished she was back in bed.

"Why do you read so much?"

Johanna did not open her eyes, she just listened to Jon speak with Uncle. She enjoyed the banter between them as her mind drifted somewhere else. She could not fathom where her sickness had come from, no one in their party was sick. It was not bad food, or a summer flu. She was just ill. She kept to herself, until she heard her uncle mention dragons. Johanna knew very little of the creatures, her father had removed the skulls from the throne room, and she had been forbidden to learn of them. She had been forbidden to learn about a lot of things.

"I used to dream of watching my father burn or even my sister."

"Uncle." Johanna's eyes shot open and she looked to her uncle in horror.

"Sorry, Johanna, I forget you were much too sheltered. I would suggest you ignore the rest of our talk. Why not go for a walk, it shall clear the sickness."

Johanna looked to Jon before she found herself getting up on shaky feet. She would not sit there and listen to her uncle speak about burning her mother with dragon fire. She cursed as she walked from their small camp, finding a tree to sit and rest at. She hated sickness. She clutched her cloak tight to her body hoping the chill would soon pass.

"Well if it isn't the princess. Are you willing to speak to us now?"

Johanna did not have to look to know it was the boys who had joined their journey.

"Please, I am not feeling well."

She heard them whisper something to each other but Johanna still did not move. She knew she should have gone back but her body was aching. She had traveled a month to Winterfell and even then her body did not feel as sore.

"Come on, Princess, you talk to the bastard all the time. Why won't you talk to us?" One of the boys crouched down in front of her, she could smell his horrid breath. "Are you too good for us?"

"Please, just leave me be. I am sorry if my behavior has offended you, it was never my intention."

"Such a proper little Lady, you are." The man put his hand upon her knee, Johanna shifted away from his touch. "A proper Lady knows how to show a man a good time. Has your husband broken you in yet?"

Johanna snapped her eyes open and looked at the man before. She found him to be as vile in looks as he was in words.

"You are quite rude, now if you will excuse me I am going back to camp."

Johanna pushed herself off the ground and leaned back against the tree. She felt dizzy, and she just needed a moment to orientate to the growing darkness.

"I don't think so, love." His tone was sickening.

Johanna felt herself let out a scream as she was shoved back to the ground, the vile man climbing ontop of her. Johanna began to holler, screaming for anyone but the man quickly covered her mouth. His friend stood over her to the left. Johanna fought against the man as his free hand made its way across her breasts. She felt a tug on her dress and tears came to her eyes, she waited for the tear in her dress but I never came. Instead there was a loud sound and a flash of white knocked the man off of her. She heard yelling, and arguing. Johanna curled up until she heard a gentle voice speak.

"Princess, Princess, look at me." She did not look at him. "Johanna, please."

Johanna looked to see Jon holding out his hand to her. She took it with a shaking breath. She cursed herself for being so stupid, she should of stayed in camp. She was foolish to think that being alone was safe for her. When they made it back to camp Johanna saw her uncle speaking with his men in a hurried tone, his small hands making rushed motions.

"Johanna, you are alright." Johanna ran to her uncle and knelt down to hug him. She buried her head in his small neck. "Hush now, I am sorry I sent you away. Johanna I warned you this is no place for.."

"What were you thinking, Lady Johanna?" The voice that cut him off belonged to Benjen Stark. "How foolish must you be to go off in the dark, alone?"

"Uncle it wasn't her fault, she..."

"Jon you do not need to defend her." Johanna looked the older Stark. "Do you know what my nephew would think of me if I let that happen to you? I told him this was not a place for a woman, but he damn well insisted."

"Lord Stark, it was my fault, I am sorry. I went off on my own, and I didn't come back when I should have. I am sorry if I have caused you any trouble. I won't leave my uncle's guards again."

Johanna kept her eyes trained on her uncle as she spoke, she could not look at the Stark man. He did not say a word after her reply, he just let out a gruff sound and walked away. Johanna found her way to an area in which she felt safe sleeping, and she laid herself in the grass.

"Johanna, I believe it is best you go back to Winterfell." Her uncle found her in the grass.

"We are a few days from Castle Black, uncle. I will continue the journey, and leave the following morning of our arrival. It makes no difference if I leave now or later."

"Johanna.."

"Uncle, please I just wish to sleep."

She heard her uncle sigh and walk away, the leaves crunching under his tiny feet. It was not long before another set of footsteps came toward her, much louder than her uncles.

"Johanna, do you mind company?"

"Lay beside me, Jon."

"My Lady.."

"Please, its one night. I am not asking you to make love to me, or touch me. I don't want to close my eyes in fear."

She watched as the man sat down beside her, and soon his wolf too was laying down beside her. She found comfort in having someone close, and even for a moment she longed for Robb. But in honesty she wished of Joffrey, he would make he feel better, make her feel safe.

"Just don't tell Robb, he can be horridly jealous.'

"No he can't, he is not like that."

"You have much to learn, my Lady."

Johanna found herself smiling, she could not imagine that her husband was jealous. But she had not given the man reason to be jealous, her only affection was shown to her own brother. She knew he did not think they were having relations. She knew regardless she could handle any jealousy her husband threw her way.

* * *

The last days to Castle Black were the hardest for Johanna, the sickness had only served to make her weaker. She could not eat any of the food the men cooked, the smell of it brought her to a fit of nausea. Jon tried to help her, he would do his best to support her when she felt weak and he even allowed her to ride on his horse, holding her to him. She was thankful for Jon, she was sure she would have fallen from a horse if it had not been for him.

"I will see you before you leave, Johanna, I promise." Jon spoke as they entered the courtyard before he was directed to the armory. She smiled as he walked away, thankful for her time with him. She had learned many a thing from her brother by law.

Johanna stood with her Uncle and his men alone in the courtyard as a man came from inside the buildings before them. Johanna could tell he was tall from a distance, and as he grew closer she almost felt intimidated by the size of him. He reminder her of a great warrior. He carried a sword with a bear upon the hilt, and Johanna racked her brain for the sigil of a bear but found none in her mind.

"Lord of Lannister, Princess Johanna, it is a pleasure to have you visiting the Wall." His voice was strong. "I am Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, Jeor Mormont."

"It is a pleasure Lord Commander."

"Pleasure." Johanna had not meant to sound so cold, but her body was screaming at her.

Her Uncle began to speak with the Lord Commander while Johanna looked around the courtyard, it was like nothing she had expected. Jon spoke of the order as a high calling, a noble place, but to her it looked nothing of that. Castle Black seemed like nothing more than an abandoned broken down building. She wondered if it was all the young bastard had dreamed of.

"Princess, are you truly indeed of a Maester?"

Johanna pulled herself from her inspection when she heard the old man speak to her. She turned her gaze to him, feeling her body shiver.

"I fear I may be. Can you point me in the direction of one?"

Johanna was unsure if they even had a Maester in such a cold unforgiving place.

"One of the men will take you to your chambers for the night, and Maester Aemon will find you there."

The man set to escort her was none other than Benjen Stark, and Johanna had to catch herself from falling to a dizzy spell. She would not allow the man to see her weakness, though she knew had. The walk to the chambers was silent, and Johanna found not issue in the silence. It was not her fault the man did not like her, she had done nothing to wrong him. But as her Uncle Jaime had once told her it was not her they did not like, it was her family. And if they did not like her blood, well than it was their own fault.

"Here you go, Princess."

Johanna entered the chambers, the room filled with settled dust. She knew it must not have been often that the men of the Night's watch got company and she doubted they had servants. She made her way to the bed, moving the covers from it and sinking into it. She had not laid in a true bed in sometime, they had not been near an inn for days upon their travels and the ground was unforgiving. Just as Johanna found comfort there came a soft knock upon her door.

"Come in."

Johanna sat up in the bed as on old Maester entered the room. He had stark white hair, and dark eyes.. Johanna stood the bed and made her way over to him.

"Thank you for coming, Maester Aemon."

"Such a beautiful voice you hold Princess, I am sure you are as beautiful as the men whisper you to be. Sadly I have long since lost the sight it would take to behold you."

Johanna would not have known the man was blind if he had not told her. She took his head and lead him to a small sitting area.

"Would you care to sit, Maester?"

"I believe it you who should be sitting, Princess, I can hear the faint hint of fatigue in your voice."

Johanna smiled to herself, he may have lost his sight but it was quite evident his hearing was far from impaired. Johanna took a seat in the chair in which she had meant for the Maester, but it only took a moment to find a chair of his own.

"What seems to be ailing you, Princess, I was told you had fallen ill upon your travels."

Johanna began to fidget, she had grown sure in the passing days of what her sickness was. She was a woman, she was aware of what happened to her body but she did not want to say it aloud, did not want to believe it yet.

"I am seeking more of second opinion, Maester, I do believe I know what troubles me." Johanna played with the edges of her muddy cloak.

"It has been sometime since I was able to council a woman, Princess, but I will do my best. Speak and I will give you council."

Johanna took a breath, allowing all her worries to leave her. She knew if what she thought was true her whole life would change.

"As we traveled north I found my body had grown weaker, I have felt faint and the smell of food had grown to turn my stomach. My breasts have..grown slightly heavy and tender." Johanna did not truly wish to speak on her breasts, even with an old maester such as him. He was still a man.

"Princess, you do not need to continue I am aware of troubles you." A smile appeared upon the man's face. "Princess, it would appear from what you describe to me that you are with child."

Johanna had known when her last moonsblood had not come, she knew when her breasts grew tender. She needed someone else to tell her, she had feared she had gone mad. She thought she had imagined it. Johanna covered her mouth as a quiet sob left her mouth, and tears began to fall from her green eyes.

"I am sorry if the news is troubling to you, Princess." The old Maester reached a hand out and placed it upon the girl's leg.

"No, Maester, this is the best news I have heard in some time."

Johanna let her tears fall from her eyes, a feeling of warmth filling her body. Knowing for certain she was with child made her happy. She had wanted nothing more in life than to have a child. She knew there was a possibility it was Joffrey's, she knew it was more than just a chance. She knew in her heart that the child growing inside of her belonged to the man she loved, but it would never know such a life. Her child would be that of Lord Robb Stark of Winterfell.

"I am glad, Princess. I would like to congratulate you then, on your impending child and the recent marriage."

Johanna looked at the old man in confusion. How did he know she had recently married?

"Thank you, Maester."

"I am sure your husband will be greatly pleased with finding out he is going to be a father, Princess."

Johanna hoped so, they had never spoken of having children. What if he didn't want a child? What if he thought it was too soon for them to have a child?

"I am sure he will be as well." But her voice did not hold her confidence.

For a moment a silence fell between the two, and Johanna found comfort in the silence with the old man. He reminded her of Jon Arryn, the man had too once been kind to her. As they sat Johanna thought of the child growing inside of her, she did not doubt they would come from her with golden hair and green eyes. A true child of her and Joffrey, and she feared what her husband would think. She wondered if the reason her father never cared for her and her siblings was because of their resemblance to their mother. Not a single child born to her father looked of him. Would Robb resent their child as well?

"Maester I want to thank you for coming to see me. I may have known in my heart that I was with child, I just needed someone to say it."

"We all seek confirmation, Princess, in one way or another." He wore a smile as he spoke, a knock interrupting them. "I believe it is my time to go, Princess Johanna. Have a safe journey home."

Johanna watched the Maestr make his way to the door where her Uncle Tyrion and a man of the Night's watch waited outside. Only her Uncle entered the chamber, carrying a candle with him.

"It is much too dark in here." Johanna did not agree with him, torches were lit and light spilled in from outside.

"I suppose so."

"Have you discovered what ails you, my dear? I have been worried for you?"

Johanna watched her Uncle walk around the dusty chamber, she knew from the way he walked he was in pain himself. She felt bad for him, it was hard for him to travel so far and the cold did nothing for him.

"I did." Johanna kept her eyes trained on her Uncle. "I am with child."

Tyrion stopped in his tracks causing Johanna to panic. She saw the way her Uncle's body tensed, and for a moment she wondered if he would yell at her.

"And you are sure of this?"

"I am, I think I have known for a few days now, I just needed the Maester to confirm my thoughts."

Her Uncle still did not move and his back remained to her. Johanna wanted her Uncle to be happy, she wanted her family to be happy. She could only hope that when she sent word to Kings Landing that her mother would find peace in her daughter's child.

"I will send word back to Winterfell, I will have the guards left there for you meet you half way." His voice was almost none existent as he left her chambers. "Dinner is being held."

Johanna had barley heard her Uncle as he yelled from down the hall. Johanna was left alone in the room, tears falling from her eyes. She could not gauge her Uncle's feelings on her child and it worried her to no end.

Johanna waited a moment before she stood from the chair it was far more comfortable than a horse's saddle and she had found comfort in just sitting. She wiped the tears from her face and held her head high. She was a lioness and she would not break, she would not let the men of the Night's Watch see her stumble.

Johanna found the main eating hall with no help, and she had only been half frozen when she found it. When she entered the hall it was loud, but the instant she made her presence known it fell silent. Everyone in the hall was eying her and panic rushed over her. Johanna was a Princess but she was a princess used to being in her castle. She had not spent much time beyond the walls of the keep before she left for Winterfell.

"Johanna." A feeling of calm washed over her when Jon called her name.

She found him sitting alone at the end of the table, and extra plate of food set out in front of him. She found a seat in front of the plate, a smile upon her face.

"Thank you, Jon, I was quite nervous."

"I could tell."

Johanna picked at the food in front of her, mostly focusing on the bread. It had been sometime since she had truly eaten and her strength would be needed to return to Winterfell. She felt everyone staring at them as she picked at her food, the men of the Night's Watch were watching her and Jon.

"Are you feeling any better, Johanna? You seem to look better."

"I feel better knowing for certain what was making me ill, it brings a peace to my mind."

Johanna ate her food eying Jon, she was uncertain of how he would take the news. She would tell him, he deserved to know of course. She did not say a word about it though, and he did not ask. She would take him from the hall after their meal and share with him the impending news. She just hoped he took it better than her Uncle did.

It was not long for either to finish their meal and soon Johanna found herself staring up at the giant ice wall she had somehow missed when they arrived. She blamed it on her distracted nature. Johanna was in awe of it, the giant structure built by the hands of men and magic. Jon had to explain to her how the wall was formed, Johanna had actually believed it just appeared there one day.

"Do you wish to speak on what troubled you on our journey?" His voice was the only sound besides the wind.

Johanna looked into his dark grey eyes, searching for something. She truly did not know how he would take the news, but she would use it to gauge how her husband would soon take the news. They were brothers and Johanna had no doubt they spoke of wanting children.

"You are going to be an Uncle Jon Snow." Her voice was almost silent.

"Are you jesting?"

He reached out to take her arm, and Johanna did not move away as his hand found her wrist. His grip was not tight, but she was aware of it's presence.

"No, I am not. There is a child growing inside of me, your brother's child." _My brother's child._

Johanna felt tears reach her eyes again, happy tears but even those she would not let fall. For a moment they stared into each others eyes, a mash of grey and green, before the boy pulled her in for a hug. Johanna stood for a moment unsure of her herself. Jon Snow had helped her, saved her and cared for her while sick but never once had he hugged her. She had never truly been hugged by anyone outside of her own blood.

"Congratulations, Johanna."

"Will he be happy?" It was the only thought that filled her mind.

Jon pulled back from her as if she had burned him. He once more looked into her eyes, and she saw nothing but worry in them.

"Johanna, Robb will be elated with the news and if you spoke to him you'd know he wants children."

His voice was soft, and calm but she heard the fire in his tone. She almost flinched, she knew the words were meant to hurt her.

"I shall try." Her eyes were trained on the wall, no longer looking at him.

A silence fell between them and Johanna knew it was fractured. She had gotten to know Jon, she had sated her curiosity of him but she had not spoke to him of Robb. She did not ask him the questions she had longed to on their journey north and she knew once she left she would never get the chance. They both stood beside the frozen wall, inches from one another.

"Jon, if you ever find someone in this Gods forsaken frozen place and you find you love them. Don't let a vow, or your honor get in the way of it. Love is special and you are someone who deserves a great love."

She felt his eyes on her but she did not turn to him. Her mind was on Joffrey, on the man who held her heart. He was no doubt almost home, almost to a place where they had shared everything. Now Johanna was married, and carrying a child inside of her belly, one she did not doubt belonged to her brother. Her life was a mess, but love would have been worth it.

"Who is he?" His hand fell upon her shoulder. "Who is the man you love, Johanna?"

"He is far from Winterfell, Jon, it matters not." Her voice sounded far off.

"Is he the reason you refuse to get to know Robb? If he is long gone, you must let him go for what is in front of you, Princess. You have a duty to your husband."

She knew she had a duty, Johanna was aware of duty. She would follow her duty, she would remain married to a man who lived in a place she could never call home, she would give him the heirs he would seek. He just would never hold her love.

"Until you feel love, until you feel that longing, you will never understand, Jon Snow. I will honor my commitment to your brother, and he alone will be the man I remain with but I can not love him."

Johanna took one look at Jon before she went to leave him standing at the cold wall. It was his home now, among the frozen winds and the dark men, it was his new place. She only hoped he would find a comfort in his new home that she could not find in her own.

"He wants to love you, and he thinks he can. He deserves to know why you won't try." His voice was almost as cold as the wind.

"I have tried, and for a moment I saw something in him, but love is not so fickle. I can not just let go of the man who holds my heart for a man who I know nothing of. One day,Jon Snow, you will meet someone who will capture every part of you and they will make you realize why I can't let go."

She found her chambers, and found her sleep. She slept soundly, her body finally joyed to get a sleep worth more than a moment. Her dreams were blank, there was nothing in them but gentle white snow falling around inside her mind.

Her departure was set for dawn, and a cart was set waiting for her in the courtyard. Her Uncle's men were seated in front. Johanna had not expected a cart, she was sure she would have to ride the whole journey home again.

"Take care, my dear, I will be in Winterfell again soon. Don't have too much fun without me." Tyrion kissed her upon the head as she found a seat in the rear of the cart.

Johanna searched the courtyard for Jon Snow but she could not find him. She had regretted the way their talk had ended, it was not his fault she held love in her heart. She wished she could love his brother, she wished she could love Robb but every time she tried she would see Joffrey in her mind. How could she let go of someone who had come into the world with her, who had shared everything with her?

Just as she heard the men begin to urge the horses forward Johanna caught sight of the dark haired boy. He came forward, his eyes searching for hers and when they met, Johanna called the cart to stop. Her Uncle watched her as she slid from the cart, meeting the bastard of Lord Stark in the middle of the courtyard.

"Send my regards to my family, Princess." His voice was formal. "I hope you can forgive me for my harsh words, we had found a friendship I wish to keep."

"I forgive you, Jon Snow, I must. My child will need to know their Uncle, they will need to know about their honorable blood that watches the Wall and protects them"

This time Johanna was the one to hug Jon, she felt a warmth between them. Jon Snow was the only person beyond her family who had connected with her,save the children. For a moment she had connected with his brother, for a moment when they met Robb Stark had begun the journey into her heart but she closed the gate before he could. Jon Snow made it into her heart, and she knew he was a friend she would never forget.

"You are going to have a boy, I can feel it." He sounded so certain.

"I think you may be right, but it is much too early to think such things. I will see you again, Jon Snow, but until then do your honor."

"Until we meet again, Johanna Stark."

No one had called her Stark, no one. She gave him a forced smile before she made her way back to the cart, willing the men to move. As she rode from the gates she watched her Uncle and Jon speak, both fading from sight before she knew it.

Jon Snow had called her a Stark, but she was not a Stark, she married a Stark. By law of course she could be referred to as such, but she felt as if it was something she did not deserve. Lady Stark was a Stark, she loved her husband even a fool could see that. Johanna did not love her husband, she was a Baratheon with a Baratheon love. She would forever be Johanna Baratheon, Princess.

The journey south was spent mostly in her dreams, she found comfort in sleeping. It seemed like before she could imagine she was being switched from one set of guards to the other. And soon after the switch she saw the looming grey walls of her new home. Johanna was back in Winterfell, with a baby in her belly and a longing in her heart to keep going south.

* * *

"'Cause you can bandage the damage

oh you never really can fix a heart"


	9. A test of marriage

**Author's Note: Thank you all again for the reviews, I love them. Getting to this chapter took sometime, I wanted to do it perfectly. I hope you all enjoy it!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones, or the A song of Ice and Fire books. I own only Johanna. Lyrics are Falling for you by Chester see.**

* * *

 _"I don't wanna tell you that I long to see your face_

 _I'm scared it might scare you away_

 _and I don't wanna tell that sometimes I think of you and smile_

 _cause with you is time enough for now._ "

* * *

 **Chapter 8: A test of a marriage.**

 **Robb**

Johanna Baratheon could not be trusted, at least not yet. Robb was unsure of his marriage more than ever after the attack on his brother's life. He had sat with his mother, and listened as she told them the tale of the Lannister involvement in the death of Jon Arryn. He listened as she warned him against the Kingslayer, warning that she believed he was the one to push his brother from a window. His father too had warned him not to trust the Lannisters as he left for Kings Landing. It was clear to him, that Johanna was the one he could not trust. She had the name of the House Baratheon but her looks were that of a lion. And the lion and wolves had never mixed in harmony.

"My son, you can not distrust her so blindly." His mother was leaving, her hands wrapped from the wounds she gained from the attempted killer.

"Why not mother? She is of Lannister blood, she was there the day Bran fell and she happened to go North before his attack?" His tone was dark.

"I did not say blindly trust her, either, but we are not always what our families are. She sat beside his bed with me everyday, she cared for Rickon. I saw you falling, don't stop yourself because you are afraid."

Robb was not afraid, not of her. Johanna was fragile, and he could break her if he had wished to. He could not trust her, he could not fathom trusting her, not any longer. He helped his mother upon the horse, taking her hand once more and kissing the bandages. He watched his mother leave, Ser Rodrik at her side and he cursed. He should have been the one on the road, he should have been the one going to King Landing but his mother was stubborn.

In his mother's absence it was like nothing had changed, he had to run Winterfell. Before she left, before the attack on Bran's life, he had to do the same. His mother had not moved from his brother's bedside, even after being told he was out of the dark. Robb too worried for Bran but he was a strong boy, and he would rise when his time came. His true concern was the Lannister guardsmen that had been left in Winterfell. The Queen refused to leave Johanna with them without guards of her own family, and with Johanna being at the Wall her guards had been left to roam. He did not like them, and he had to keep them far from Bran.

It had been three weeks since his father had left, and a week after his mother's departure, when Bran finally opened his eyes. Robb had been working in his father's old solar when the word reached him. He dropped his work and almost ran to his brother's side. He found his brother alone in his sickroom, his face blank and pale.

"Bran, how are you feeling?" Robb took a seat on the bed beside his brother.

"I can't feel my legs, Robb."

They had all known of the possibility, they all knew it could happen. Bran had fallen from a height that most would have never survived, and Robb knew if his lost only his ability to walk he would be blessed.

"I know Bran, I am sorry."

Robb saw his brother wanted to cry, and he could not blame him. He was a boy of ten who had his whole life ahead of him but he would never walk again, and never ride again. His brother had dreams of being a knight, a bannerman for Robb, and the Lannisters had taken that from him. They would pay for the damage they had caused.

"I wish I had died, I should have just died."

"Don't say that, don't you ever say that again." Robb's voice held a fire, and he went to say something more but they were interrupted by Maester Luwin.

Robb took his brother's hand once last time before he left him, and found his way outside of the castle walls. Robb had a storm brewing inside of him, and nothing could quell the feelings inside of him. The Lannisters would pay. As he entered the courtyard he spied the two Lannister guards mounting a cart and riding from Winterfell.

"Where are they going?" Hallis had been standing in the courtyard, and Robb sought the man out.

"I was coming to find you, my Lord, but with word of your brother I thought the news could wait."

Robb eyed his new guard captain with suspicion. He had not been told of any news reaching Winterfell, and he knew it first would go through Maester Luwin. Hallis did not speak on the news, he just handed Robb a parchment with elegant writing written across the page.

"It's from the Lannister Imp."

Robb was left standing with the parchement, his eyes scanning the words. His anger started to fire up again as he read, but he fire was put out as he read the last few lines. A fear rose in him, a fear he had never felt before. Robb was not afraid of many things, but he did fear failure. He was the oldest son, the oldest child, and he never wanted to fail his parents, but he also never wanted to fail his own child.

The raven held the words of his impending child, among other news, and Robb could not believe it. He knew of course it would happen, he knew that in his marriage he would have children but never had he thought it would be so soon. Johanna was already on her way back to Winterfell, his small child forming inside her womb. He had much to think on before she reached Winterfell, much to decide upon. He would seek the solace of the Old Gods, seek their wisdom on the matters beyond his own control.

* * *

In the weeks after the news and Bran's awakening Robb had found no time to think. He had to look after Bran's needs and he looked out for Rickon, who still clung to him. He had matters to attend to with his mother and father leagues away, and Maester Luwin barley gave him a break. He still had to find a steward to replace Poole and his wife would be arriving home at any moment. Robb was still unsure of where his trust would lay when it came to her, but she was with his child. He could not bring a child into a home where two people did not speak, trust or even care for each other.

Robb found some time alone in the solar. Rickon was no doubt with Bran, and no one else came to find him. He used his time alone to think about Johanna. His mother was right he had felt himself falling for her, falling for her eyes and her sweet nature. He found himself entranced by the way her lips felt pressed against his, and the way her skin felt under his fingers. Johanna was a beauty to be envied, and her nature was something proper women would strive for but Rob had seen a different side. She had snapped at him, she had yelled at him, and he knew he was the only one who rose her voice. His only question was why he brought that out of her?

He wanted to find a piece of her to trust, he wanted to find a way to remove her family from his image of her. She was not truly a Lannister, her mother was, Johanna was not her mother. But her blood carried that of a lion, and she wore a lion pendent around her neck. Robb wanted to separate the two, find peace in who she was, but until she showed him who she was he would never find comfort in her. He would never fully enjoy the comfort of her embrace, the love in her kiss, until he knew who she was.

"Lord Stark, Lady Johanna is approaching the gates." Hallis Mullen found him, breaking his peace.

"Thank you, I will be down in a moment."

Robb stood from his desk and ran his hands over his face. He was not exactly ready to face his Lady wife but he had no choice. If he did not greet her, he would be just as bad as she was and he would not stoop to her level of coldness. He made his way through the halls of his home, only silence met his ears. He did not doubt many of the castle were busy preparing dinner, and he had no doubt Rickon was with their brother.

When Robb reached the courtyard he found he had been wrong, his little brother was not at Bran's bedside. Instead, Robb found Rickon standing in front of Johanna, a smile upon both of their faces.

"I sure did miss you Rickon, there are no men quite like you that far north."

Robb watched as she bent down to kiss his brother upon his curly hair, and as she stood their eyes met. Robb tried to hide his emotions from her, but when he saw the look in her eyes he felt his heart shake. She looked tired, and ragged even if her looks had not faltered a bit. Her green eyes showed him all he needed to know of her journey.

"Robb." Her voice was softer than he remembered it to be.

"Johanna."

Robb did not make a move to embrace her as they stood just a foot apart. They stood their watching each other, neither speaking. He did not know what to say to her, he did not know what he even thought of her.

"Princess Johanna, my brother is awake. You must come see him." Rickon pulled on her dress.

"Bran has awoken?" The question was posed to Robb.

"Yes, Bran woke a few weeks back." He went to say more but she was gone before he could.

He watched her walk past him in a flurry of golden hair and pale skin. She seemed weak on her feet, and unsteady as she walked. He went and found one of her guards, he was sure they would know of how she was feeling.

"How was my wife on the journey?"

"She is doing much better than we were told she had been going north, she is just tired, Lord Stark."

Robb found a comfort in knowing his wife was well, more for the child inside her than anything else. He would find her for dinner and they would discuss other matters, matters that would calm his nerves. He would find more about his wife, and he would find her connection to the fall of his brother.

Robb did not get what he wished, for days after her return Johanna would not leave Bran's side. He would see his wife only when he made the trip to his brother's sickroom. He would find the two whispering as he entered, laughing as their eyes caught his. Robb could not deny the joy it gave him to see Bran smiling, to see his brother's eyes light up again. Bran no longer spoke of wanting to die, instead he once again had dreams of being a great man, a great Lord.

She ate all her meals with Bran, she even slept on the bed that had been left in there by his mother. Robb was unsure if she was avoiding him, or if she truly had missed his brother. Rickon too would spend all his time with her now, leaving Robb to his work. Robb was left to run Winterfell while his Lady wife took care of his siblings, and sometimes as he walked by the sickroom he would find himself stopping outside the door. She would sing, and as her voice came muffled through the door Robb would find himself standing there listening to her.

"Lord Stark, you need to come with me." Robb had been sitting at his desk when Hallis entered the room, his face contorted in worry.

"What happened? Has someone come for Bran again?" Robb was up and ready to rush to his brother's side.

"No, M'lord, it's your wife."

Robb followed behind Hallis, worry in his gut. He did not feel the need to be concerned with Johanna's well being, she was the one he was worried about when it came to Bran's well being. He had never imagined he would get a hurried beckoning to go to her side. But as they walked to his chambers Hallis told him nothing, and when he saw Maester Luwin outside the door Robb felt his heart sink.

"What happened?"

The Maester eyed Robb with concern, his old eyes heavy and a frown was on his face. He knew then that it was not his wife but their child he should have been worried about.

"Lord Robb, I am sorry." Robb did not need the Maester to say anymore, he knew. "It should pass in a few days, she wasn't sure what was happening at first, but when the pain came I was summoned. She won't get out of bed, I am truly sorry."

She had lost their child, and Robb felt his heart break. He had not even gotten to speak to Johanna about their impending child, he hadn't spoken to anyone of how he felt. He wanted their child more than anything, he had always longed to be a father. He was afraid, and worried, but he wanted to bring a child into the world.

He entered his chamber to see a tub sitting filled with untouched water, and his wife curled in the bed. He could hear her softly crying, but the second she heard the door shut he heard her stop weeping.

"Johanna."

"Get out, just get out." Her voice once more rose against him.

"I am not leaving." He made his way to the metal tub, touching the water, it was still warm. "Get up, and get in the bath."

The golden haired beauty did not move, but he heard her hiss in pain, he could tell she was fighting her emotions and pain. She did not wish to weaken herself in front of him, and he would not allow her nonsense to continue. Robb was an honorable man, but he was also her husband, she could not play her games with him.

"Johanna, get out that bed and get in the tub. You can not just lay there bleeding."

"If you are more concerned with the blood on your sheets, I can fetch a maid to fix that for you."

Her voice was cold but she held the bite of a lion in her tone. He had never heard her speak to a single other person in such a manner, he really questioned why he could get such a rise from her. He let out a sigh, the blood was not his issue. Robb made his way to the bed, standing beside her.

"One last time, wife, get out of the bed." He had not spoken to her since her return and her behavior angered him. She was very much a stubborn child.

Johanna did not move, she continued to lay there looking at the opposite wall. Robb cursed under his breathe, praying for the Old Gods forgiveness before he snatched his wife from the bed. He made the woman stand on shaky feet. He held her up, feeling her body shake under his large hands. Her face was turned to the ground, and all he could see was a veil of golden curls. He held her at arms length, looking down at her white slip. A blood stain had formed between her thighs, and he could tell she had no small clothes beneath.

"You are getting in the tub, Johanna. I know you are upset, but you will listen to me."

Robb had never imagined he would have to chastise his wife like a child, but if she wished to act like one he had no choice. She stood still, her face still turned to the ground. Once more Robb asked the old Gods for forgiveness as he removed his wife's slip from her body.

"I don't want to have to put you in the bath myself, so please just help me."

He heard a small sigh of defeat leave her lips, the pink lips that had felt soft on his own. He watched as she stepped into the bath, a sigh of contentment leaving her lips. He was sure the water felt good on her body.

"Why are you being so cruel to me? Do you hate me now because I have killed your child?" Her tone was deadpan, and when she looked up at him he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"I am angry, but not at you. I know you are feeling something, something you won't show me because you think it's weak. You think showing me how this is effecting you, is weak." He knelt down beside the tub, taking the cloth and dipping it in the water. "It isn't weak. I am showing you how I feel, I am angry and I need you to let me see how you feel."

He ran the cloth along her arm that rested on the edge of the tub. He was gentle, and let his touch linger on her skin. She did not look at him, her eyes were fixed at the water that surrounded her body.

"What do you want me to say?" Her voice was no longer harsh.

"It's not what I want you to say, Johanna, it's what you need to say. You can't pretend this isn't hurting you."

Robb ran the cloth over his wife's neck, letting the water drip down her back. He wanted her to feel comfortable, he wanted her to feel safe. He put his trust issues to the side for a moment, and allowed himself to focus on them. It was a test of their marriage.

"You can send me back, you know. I am the reason your child is dead." Her voice sounded so dead.

She honestly believed she was to blame, he could see it. He put the cloth on the edge of the tub and gently placed two fingers under her chin. Robb lifted her face so her green eyes met his blue ones, a look of calm on his face.

"I am not going to send you back to your family because you did not cause this, Johanna. Riding north did not kill our child, you didn't cause this. This happens more often than you think, we will have more children."

He finally saw the tears fighting in her eyes fall, it was a silent cry but he saw the sadness in her eyes. Robb let go over her chin and instead leaned over the tub to embrace her upper half. He did not care if he got wet, or if she even wanted him to do so, he wanted to feel her embrace. He pulled back from her and continued to help her wash. She sat still, the tears falling from her eyes. She let him see her weakness, and he knew it was hard for her. He knew from what he had heard from his father that the Lannisters held their pride above everything else. For Johanna to let that go, he knew it was important for them as a pair.

"I spoke to Jon a lot on my journey north, my intention was to learn more about you but I failed. I spoke more of him then we did of you, and I am sorry, I learned only one fact I did not know."

It took some time for her to speak to him, and it was not until he was brushing the knots from her wet hair that she did. He was sitting on a stool behind the tub, her head bent back as he ran a comb through her golden hair.

"And what did you learn about me?" He was truly curious.

"That apparently you have a jealous side, I denied Jon's words of course, I have never seen you act jealous."

Robb smiled to himself, of course his brother would warn her of his jealousy. He wondered what would cause such a topic to arise between the two.

"Why was my brother telling my wife such things about me?" His tone was joking.

"After...an incident, I asked Jon to sleep by me and he said you would be jealous."

He knew the incident she spoke of, her uncle included it in the raven. The thought of it again made his blood boil. If had been there he would have cut the hands off the men who touched his wife, and even that was too good of a punishment. He silently thanked Jon in his mind for saving her.

"Johanna, that too was not your fault and I can tell by your tone that you believe it to be." He finished brushing her hair and stood up. "I promise you that what they did, what they tried to do, was not you fault."

He helped her from the bath, and as she stood he saw a tinge of red mixed with the water. He knew what it was, he knew what she was going through and he felt horrid. He wished he could take the pain from her, and as she stood before him he watched her wince. The warm water had no doubt helped the pain. He dried her off, neither speaking again of the incident on the road. He did not doubt it was something she wished not to speak of.

"I have to go speak with Maester Luwin. Would you like me to send someone in with some food or drink."

He had helped her into bed, covering her with the furs to keep her naked body warm. She looked at him and a real smile graced her lips.

"Tea please, I have not had any since my journey home. I had the best cup of tea made in the last inn, but yes, a cup of tea and maybe a lemoncake."

"Of course."

Robb went to leave but her voice once more reached his ears.

"Robb, I am sorry." Once more she was apologizing.

The young Lord made his way from the door back to their bed, finding a small spot next to her. He took her hand in his own.

"I already told you this was beyond your control, my anger and sorrow is not a result of you."

"No, I am not saying sorry for our lost child. My apology is for my actions prior to my departure, after our wedding and before. We had something that first night we met, I know we saw something in each other, but I became cold to you and you didn't deserve that." She bit her pink lip as she looked up at him. "I should be nicer to you, and I am going to try to."

He thanked her with a smile before he left her in their bed. He bid her guard,who stood watch outside, to remove the tub from his chambers. Robb found a kitchen girl to bring his wife food, and tea before he made his way to the Maester's quarters. Robb knew that matters such as miscarriage happened, but something inside of him was not settled correctly. He needed council.

Maester Luwin was pacing around his chamber's when Robb found him. A small box was held in the older man's hands, and Robb felt his own worry rise. When the Maester saw Robb he placed the small wooden box down.

"Lord Stark, what can I do for you?"

"Maester, what is in that box?" Robb countered the old man's question with his own.

The Maester picked up the box and handed it to him. Robb inspected the inside of the box and all he found inside were herbs, the same herb to be precise. It was a yellow flowering herb that Robb had seen before but he could not name.

"Herbs?"

"In a sense. I took this box from the room of the Lannister guards, it was among the things they brought with them on their journey." The Maester took the box from Robb's hands. "Do you happen to know if Johanna had any tea while returning home?"

Robb was brought to hos previous conversation with Joahanna, and the tea she mentioned.

"Yes, but I do not see what is so important."

"I do not have proof, and these things can happen naturally, but if a woman is given a strong dose of tansy she will miscarry her child." Robb knew of the tansy flower, it was of moon tea. "I have reason to believe the guards put these herbs in her tea."

Robb felt his blood run cold. Someone had poisoned his wife just so she would lose his child, the child she carried in her womb.

"I want those guards thrown in the dungeon, immediately, I will learn if they have done what you fear." His voice was dark, and his body rigid.

"And what will you tell the Princess? I do not think acting so swiftly will do any good, m'lord." Always the voice fo reason, but Robb wanted to no reason.

"I will have Hallis arrest them, and I will deal with my wife. Maester, send a raven south. I want the Lannister Queen to know her daughter has suffered, and if that woman had a hand in her daughter's mishap I want her to know the child of hers is suffering."

Robb could tell by the look on the Maester's face that he found him unwise, but Robb did not care. His mind was full of anger, and he was furious. He left the Maester to write the raven while he searched out Hallis. The man was not unwilling when Robb found him, and he knew it would not take long for the Lannister guards to be in the cells.

Robb knew his trust for Johanna was still uncertain, but knowing there was a possibility that the Lannisters had a hand in the miscarriage made him worry he was being too hard on her. If her family would disregard her for the vendetta against his family, then they truly had no care for their own blood. He would pray and then find his wife. Robb would lay with her, and hold her as they both dealt with their loss. In the morning he would find out for certain if the Lannisters killed his unborn child.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry...I had to do it...**


	10. Blood is thicker than Water

**Author's Note: Here we go! I started off with the Lion mother, thought we could delve into how she is faring lol. I hope you all like this chapter, I do. Thank you for all the favorites, reviews and follows :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Game of Thrones, or the Books in the A song Of Ice and Fire series. I own only Johanna. Lyrics from The Lion and the Wolf by Thrice**

* * *

 _"The lion's outside of your door_

 _the wolf is in your bed_

 _the lion's claws are sharpened for war_

 _the wolf's teeth are red_

 _what a monstrous sight he makes_

 _mocking man's best friend_

 _both the wolf and the lion crave the same thing in the end_."

* * *

 **Chapter 9: Blood is thicker than water.**

 **Cerse** i

Being at home in Kings Landing did nothing to fill the hole in Cersei's heart, nothing could fill that void. She had four beautiful children, each with a place in her heart, but one had been taken from her and left in a frozen wasteland. Cersei had begged, screamed and pleaded with husband for sixteen years to change his mind, but he never did. She never wanted her eldest daughter, her fragile daughter, taken from her but she was never given a choice. The day Johanna left her womb the child was cursed, cursed for a life beyond their control.

When Johanna was born, she came from her mother screaming and crying but the moment she was placed in Jaime's arms the tears had stopped. Cersei held their son while her daughter lay in her lovers arms. Their twins were the essence of who they were and they had made a promise to never let them live the life they had. Cersei did not want Johanna to feel the pain of loving someone she could never have, but she knew differently. She knew from the moment she lay her children in the crib together, their lives were cursed. She saw the way they looked at each other and as they grew the looks only got worse. She knew her children shared love that she herself shared with her own twin.

She worried more for her daughter when after her birth she became ill, and no one could describe the child's sickness. Her brother never caught it as they laid in a crib together but each day her skin would grow pale and the child would gain he chills. Cersei would hold her every night to keep the child safe, and eventually the chills would pass. She was sick for months, but when the sickness passed the child was never the same. She remained fragile and bruised easy.

Johanna stayed from anyone who not family, she was kept inside the halls of her home. Her mother had grown to see how fragile her daughter was, even emotionally. She kept the truth from her, kept the lies as her only truth. Her daughter would never know the harsh reality of the world. But she lost all control when Johanna was sent away, she had fought it for as long as she could, but her husband was brutish. He never listened.

"Cersei?"

She looked up from her wine, and shook the thoughts of the past from her head. Her daughter was gone and there was nothing she could do. Her brother made his way into her chambers, his face sullen and parchment held tightly in his fist. She eyed him in curiosity.

"What is it, Jaime? What troubles you, my love?"

He held the parchment together, his green eyes meeting her own. There was once a time when she could read her brother's eyes but that time had long since passed. Their love had remained but time had come to drive a rift between them.

"It's Johanna, Cersei."

She stood from her chair and reached her brother in a second. She snatched the parchment from her brother's hand and read it. Her heart began to break, her body began to shake and anger filled her eyes.

"She's coming home, I going to see to it."

She made her way around her brother, but the man grabbed her arm. His grip was tight, not to hurt her, but to keep her close. He pulled her back against his chest and held her there, his face buried in her golden hair.

"He won't bring her home, don't fight a battle you can't win."

The lioness ripped herself from her lover's arms, a fury in her emerald eyes. She stood facing him, her face contorted in anger.

"That boy sends us a raven mocking our daughter's pain and you would have me do nothing."

Her voice was low but her tone said all it had to. She was furious and she would get her vengeance.

"The boy is not mocking you, or us. He wanted his mother by law to know of his wife's condition. Would you rather not know?" Jaime reached his hand out to cup her face but she pushed his hand away.

She knew the Stark boy was mocking her daughter and her, and she was sure that he had caused the child's pain. Somehow, some way, that wolf had caused her daughter to lose her child. Cersei knew how much Johanna dreamed of being a mother, she knew it was all the poor girl wanted. She too had lost her first child, to fever, but even so losing a child or unborn child, it was still losing a child.

"If you are foolish enough to believe that then I pity you, brother." Her face became calm but her eyes held her fire.

"Cersei, my love, you know that if I thought for one second our daughter was in danger I would ride there myself." Jaime closed the distance again. "I love her, and I know you worry of the sickness coming back and how it makes her weak still, but she is safe."

Cersei went to argue but he pressed his lips to hers. It was a chaste kiss, an innocent kiss, something they had not shared in some time. Their innocence with each other had long passed. Most days it was lust and twisted love that remained between them.

"I would go to the ends of the Seven Kingdoms and across the Narrow Sea for our children, Cersei." He held her close to him, his eyes meeting hers. "You have to believe that, and trust me when I say she is safe."

Cersei buried her head in her lover's strong chest. He had been the only man in the Seven Kingdoms to ever see her weakness, to ever see her worries. He was the only man who deserved to see her in such a manner.

"You know I worry."

"Too much sister, but let Johanna grow and if she needs us, I will ride to Winterfell. I will bring our daughter home if I ever think harm will befall her."

Cersei made him promise, she made him swear to her. Johannaa was her first born daughter, her son's twin. She would never let harm come to her children, and knowing Johanna suffered leagues away was killing her. Why would the Gods bless her with such a beautiful, kind, child just to take her away. Why let her child be so close to her siblings, so close to her twin, just to take her away? Cersei resented Robert more everyday, and after seventeen years she thought there would be some kind of love between them. But she hated him, and she would make him suffer as she had.

* * *

 **Johanna.**

 _Hands ran down her body, hands began pulling on her dress. She was screaming, kicking and fighting but no one was coming to save her. Not this time. She was weak and helpless as her dress was ripped open to expose her breasts, the man hovering over her let out a moan at the sight of them. She felt rough hands grabbing at them, groping her.._

Johanna's emerald eyes shot open and the darkness of the room filled her vision. It was just another nightmare. She had been back in Winterfell for over two weeks, and yet the nightmares of the road came back to haunt her. Almost every night she found herself caught in the same loop of rough hands and stinking breath. In the darkness she lit a candle beside her bed, allowing a small light to fill the chamber. She knew it would not wake her husband, not much did.

Johanna pushed herself up on her elbow and looked over at her husband. He had been taking care of her since the moment the pain started, and even after. The bleeding had stop, and the pain had gone but still Johanna felt broken inside. Robb Stark cared for her, made sure she ate and bathed. He refused to let her fall into the madness the way his mother had over Bran.

She let her eyes roam over his sleeping face, and bare chest that lay exposed from the blankets. His eyes were closed but even then she could remember the intensity of his blue orbs. His face was no longer clean shaven, he had a beard growing and she often times found herself touching his face. Joffrey had never grown a beard, and Johanna doubted he would be able to pull such a feature off. On Robb Stark it looked handsome, she favored it over his clean face. Even in the darkness Johanna found her running a finger over his face.

He had done nothing but help her since her return, he had tried. She wanted to try, but the loss of her brother's child broke something inside of her. It would have been her one connection to home, and it would have been her first child. A child was all Johanna wanted. Countless times Robb Stark had tried to shake her blame, but it never helped. She believed herself to be cursed. And countless more times he would tell her they could try again, but she didn't know if she could.

She smiled to herself for a moment, looking at him still. She took a deep breath and leaned over him, placing her lips on his. He kissed her often, but she never kissed him first, not since the day she left had she kissed him first. As she placed her lips on his softly she knew he would not wake. She pulled away, for a second before placing her lips on his again. They were soft, warm and his skin smelt of the forest. As she went to pull away a hand found it's way into her golden curls, and the lips began to press back against her own.

Johanna's eyes opened wide and soon she was staring to her husband's open eyes. She did not fight him as his hand tangled in her hair, or as the other hand reached to cup her face. She continued to kiss him, feeling the warmth come between them. Soon he was the one to end the kiss.

"Sorry." She mumbled.

Johanna found herself laying on her back, her hands covering her red face. She had not meant for him to wake, she had not meant for such a folly.

"Johanna, you have no reason to be sorry." His voice was lazy with sleep. "Come back here."

He pulled her over to him, laying her head upon his bare chest. His skin was warm, and she felt her body shiver from a cold that had come over her.

"Are you still feeling a chill? I have given you so many blankets."

"It's alright, I think you are quite warm enough."

In fact Johanna felt herself curling up to him, her body searching for his heat. She felt his deep chuckle as she clung to him, a soft kiss placed upon the crown of her head.

"Let's get back to sleep, my love, I want you to leave this chamber tomorrow."

The next morning Johanna awoke to an empty bed chamber, but a plate of bacon and bread was sitting beside her bed. A small smile graced her lips as she took a bite. She was starving, and overly thankful for her husband's kindness. After eating she dressed and made her way from the chamber, quickly running into a child.

"Johanna!" Rickon's voice echoed off the walls. "Come with me, Robb is welcoming guests."

Johanna merely smiled as Rickon pulled her through the halls. Her body still felt weak, but she was stronger than she had been in the last few days. She was steadier on her feet, and she had no issue keeping up with the child.

She was pulled into the Great Hall where her husband sat at the head table, a regal look upon his face. Johanna was almost in awe of him for a moment, he wore dark clothes, his dark cloak and he looked sullen but he was handsome. When their eyes met his face lost it's sullen look and a smile formed upon his lips. Maester Luwin sat beside him and he eyed Johanna with sadness. Rickon pulled her to a smaller table below the platform her husband sat upon, excitement on his face.

"Who is coming?" She whispered to the child.

"A man of the Night's watch."

Johanna sat beside the child, before quickly taking him into her lap. He laughed as he sat upon her knee, and she could even hear her husband's laugh come from above her. She did not need to look at him to feel his eyes boring into her. She watched the doors instead, waiting for the man to enter. Johanna felt her heart jump when her uncle Tyrion walked in, she put Rickon back in his own chair. She made her way to him, kneeling down before her Uncle.

"Uncle Tyrion." She hugged the smaller man, feeling a burning gaze from behind her.

"You look much better than the last time I saw you, little one." His voice was full of jest. "And the babe?"

Johanna felt tears form in her eyes, but she quickly pushed them aside. She was a lioness. She stood from before her Uncle, wiping the dirt from her dress.

"I lost my child, Uncle." She turned and found her seat beside Rickon once more.

She could see the sadness on her Uncle's face but it faded fast. Johanna remembered the coldness he showed her when she told him the news. She did not doubt he had little care for the babe she should have carried inside. Beside her Uncle was the man Yoren, and seeing him only brought back the nightmares she suffered. It was the men he had brought with him that haunted her dreams.

"Baring my niece, I would have to say I received a slightly warmer welcome upon my last visit to Winterfell." Her Uncle eyed her husband, and Johanna could sense the tension.

"Any man of the Night's Watch is welcome in Winterfell."

 _But not my blood?_ Johanan did not speak her thoughts, she knew wiser. She sat with her hands resting in her lap as she was taught, and she just listened.

"Any man of the Night's watch, but not I, boy?"

Johanna fiddled with her dress, knowing her Uncle caught her husband's snide meaning.

"I am not your boy, Lannister."

Johanna stood, and looked at her husband. She did not like the way he said her family name, she did not like the way he spoke to her blood. She didn't speak up, she just made her way to leave the room. She would not sit there and listen to the two men go back with words. As they spoke their tones only barely hid their contention for one another, Johanna noticed it was mostly Robb who held the contempt.

As she neared the door Hodor came through carrying Bran. She stopped and kissed the child's forehead before she left the hall, her husband's blue eyes burning against her back.

Out in the courtyard Johanna found herself looking up at the sky. She could not understand her husband's hostility toward her family, they were her blood. Her family had done nothing to him, and if he wanted her to put an effort in their marriage he could not treat her family in such a manner. She had done nothing but be kind to his blood, and it was only fair he did the same.

"Johanna." It was not long before she heard her Uncle's voice.

She turned to see him coming from the hall, a sour look upon his face. Johanna did not like the idea of Robb causing a distress in her family.

"Uncle, you must stay here no matter what he says." She was almost pleading.

"Come with me, Johanna, I am staying in town. We can speak there."

Johanna found herself upon a horse before she could question her Uncle, and she could hear Theon Greyjoy calling after them. Her Uncle said nothing, and Johanna just cast a glance in his direction. She didn't say a word to him, and pushed her horse to follow her Uncle. She did not care what her husband would have to say about her leaving.

Johanna felt a blush creep onto her cheeks when her Uncle pulled her into the local whore house, all the women eying her. She looked to the ground, ashamed of being in such a place. Her Uncle did all the speaking, asking for a room where they could be alone, wine and food. In the room her Uncle did not speak, just pushed a plate of meat toward. Johanna wished not to eat it, but she knew the lecture that would come from his lips. Her family always pushed meat onto her, it was how it always was.

"How is the northern Lord treating you, my dear?"

She looked to her food, and to her wine. Her husband was a kind man,he cared for her, but his attitude made her feel sour.

"He's a good man, Uncle. He cared for me after the loss of my child." She picked at her food. "He's a man who any woman could love."

She knew her voice betrayed her, it always had a way of doing that. She was a horrid liar, her brother always told her as such. It helped that Johanna hated to lie, but it made it hard when she actually did.

"But not you?" Her Uncle kept a half smile on his face. "Very much like your mother, my dear."

Johanna saw nothing wrong with it, but the way her Uncle said the words made her shift. Her mother was a great woman, a kind, honest and loving woman. Johanna wanted to be half the woman her mother was, half the mother and wife she was. Her mother stuck beside her father even when he struck her, and stepped away from her to fuck his whores. If only Johanna could be so strong.

"I did not say I couldn't love him, Uncle." Johanna drank her wine. "If he was kinder to my family it would not be such a hard task."

Her Uncle let out a chuckle, and Johanna wondered what she had said that was so funny.

"My dear, the Lannister lions and the Stark wolves have not gotten a long in some time." She knew that much from Uncle Jaime. "Blame your Grandfather for that one, love."

Johanna did not understand her Uncle so she said nothing, she kept her eyes on her wine. It was a sweet drink, and it made her mouth warm. She knew she should focus on the food, focus on the thing that would strength her but she cared not. She drank until the cup was empty, and only after a look from her Uncle did she eat her meat.

They spoke on other matters, matters of less importance. He told her of his time at the wall, and she longed to have stayed. She wished she could have seen the world from the top of the wall, to see how small everything truly was. He spoke of going home and Johanna wanted to cry but she did not. She wanted to go home, she wanted to be among her family. She wanted to be with Joffrey. She wanted him to hold her, to make the loss of their child something he too mourned. Instead her husband held her, weeping over a child she did not believe was his. Guilt had crept over her.

"Come with me, Johanna. Let me take you home." Johanna looked to her Uncle in shock.

"Uncle, do not be foolish. You know I can not, and it's not a joke to say such things."

She wanted to go.

"I am sorry, my niece, my humor has always been a bit too dark for you." Her Uncle took her hand over the table. "Just be careful, alright. Never forget where you have come from."

His eyes had landed on her necklace and Johanna let her fingers wrap around the lion pendent. It was her connection to home, to her brothers, to her sister and to her mother. She needed no connection to her father, the marriage was her constant reminder of him.

"Never, Uncle."

She stayed with him until the sun had set, she stayed later than she should have. Johanna could not help it though, she got lost in the stories her Uncle told her. Stories her mother would have never let her know, stories of the past. She enjoyed hearing such things, things about her family she had never known. When it came time to say farewell, Johanna fought back the tears, and let her Uncle kiss her upon the head.

She road back alone, in the silence of the ending summer's night. Winter would come soon, her husband told her so often. She wished for summer back, for the warmth of her brother's hands in the gardens. She longed for the days where she would sneak out of the keep with Tommen on her heels, finding themselves on the beach in the late hours of the evening. They never stayed long, their Uncle Jaime would always find them. He would scold her, but then he would promise to never to tell her mother. She missed them all.

"Where were you?" She had gotten to her chambers, and the second she opened the door he spoke. "Johanna, you can't just ride off like that."

She ignored him for a moment, finding water to clean her hands and face. He approached her, pressing his body against her back as she washed herself.

"Johanna, please speak to me." His voice was soft, and warm against her neck.

"I was with my Uncle." She slipped from in front of him, and stood beside him. "He and I spent time speaking, at the brothel."

She watched as his eyes darkened, but it only lasted a moment. She found her way to her trunk, searching for a night dress to change into.

"You could have told Theon." Johanna bowed her head, and did not speak. "All I knew was that you had rode off. I was worried."

Once she found what she was seeking she turned back to Robb. Her face held a soft smile, it was not intentional but hearing of his worry warmed her heart, if only for a moment.

"I am sorry, you are right."

She began to untie her dress, as his eyes wandered over her body. She knew he would not make a move to bed her, to make love to her. She felt no more shyness as her dress fell to the floor, her anger at him over clouded her shyness. He would want her, and she would make him want her, but he could not have her.

"Johanna, I am sorry if I upset you earlier, my behavior toward your Uncle." She watched as his eyes landed on her breasts. "My behavior was not warranted."

"I am glad you saw that." Johanna stepped toward him, stepping over the dress on the floor. "I don't know why you hate them, hate my blood."

He didn't answer at first, his eyes were fixed on her body. He was a man, he was tempted like any other. She had heard her mother once speak to a maid of how she would use her body to get what she wished, Johanna had never imagined doing such a thing. Her body had been private, had been only for Joffrey to see for so long. Never did she think she would use her body to torture her husband.

"They aren't kind people, Johanna." His eyes met hers, and she saw the truth he believed in. "Johanna, you are kind, and innocent but your family, they aren't."

Johanna turned her back to him, and slipped her night dress on. She felt an anger build in her, and she felt shame for it. Robb Stark was the only person to make her angry.

"Johanna." He placed a hand upon her shoulder.

"Do not touch me." Her voice was soft. "My family is kind, just and as honorable as your own."

She spun on her heel to face him, her green eyes hot with rage. She would not sit there and let him speak of her blood. To speak ill of her family, of her mother and siblings.

"Johanna.."

"No Robb, I want us to work and we have been trying." She cast her eyes to their bed. " But I can't try , if you will speak of my family in such a way."

Soon the distance was closed between us, his body pressing against hers and his hands cupping her face. Their eyes met, and she felt her rage die.

"I will keep my opinions of them from your ears." His breath was warm on her lips. "I want this, Johanna, I want us."

Johanna caught herself getting lost in his eyes, but the moment he leaned in to kiss her she heard a voice in her head. _Mine._ She felt any warmth she gained from Robb fade, as Joffrey's words filled her head. She could never give Stark what he wanted, not if her heart still sought her brother. Until the day her love for Joffrey died, she could never give her husband what he sought.

Even still she let her husband's lips find her own. She enjoyed the kiss, she enjoyed his lips. She felt her heart pull in a direction it could not go, while her mind pulled her closer to the man whose hand's were upon her face. She wished it was easy, and she prayed to the Gods to help her but she knew she had long since forsaken the Gods with her sins. She would find no help, and no forgiveness. She lay with her brother, and lay with a man outside of marriage. She was sin.

As his lips left hers, she felt him pick her up. She felt a sudden wave of fear but it died as he laid her in their bed. He placed a gentle kiss upon her head before he left her to sleep, no doubt finding his way to tell her guards to stop looking for her. As she lay there tears fell from her emerald eyes, guilt and regret filling her heart. How much could she fake before she would break?


	11. Love

**Author's Note: Thank you for all the follows and favorites. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones, I own only Johanna.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Love**

 **Johanna**

Robb had kept his word to her, not once did he let his opinion of her family reach her ears. She was thankful for his kindness. For weeks they had been able to build a system of keeping their emotions in check. He spoke nothing of her family, and she pushed Joffrey as far from her mind as she could. He would spend his time training, she would watch him with Rickon and if not she was with Bran. The boy could not keep his excitement over being able to soon ride.

The clang of metal rang out through the courtyard while Johanna held Rickon in her lap, the boy laughing. Johanna too had a smile on her lips, watching Robb train against Theon was something she had grown quite fond of. He was more relaxed in his mother's absence, and without Ser Rodrik to badger him. She never asked where they had gone, she let her mind fill in the blanks, her husband had enough on his plate.

Finally the clang of metal ceased, and the courtyard was filled with laughter in it's place. Theon Greyjoy and her husband stood laughing, sweat beaded on their faces. Rickon jumped from her lap and went in search of Maester Luwin, the young child still had lessons. Johanna thought of following him, and sitting in on his lessons but Robb caught her eye. He mouthed to her to wait for him, and soon he was gone.

Johanna stood in the courtyard, waiting for him to return. They had truly not had any alone time together, at all. After the wedding she had spent her last days with her family, then her trip to the wall, then the loss of her child and the weeks since had been filled with her spending time with his brothers. Johanna was at peace with how things had been going between them, but she would have enjoyed some time alone with him. She knew he was busy, he was the Lord of Winterfell after all. But she still felt like a stranger to her own husband.

 _I want this, I want us._

The words he had said to her weeks ago had been burned into her brain. She had never had someone speak to her with such compassion on the matter of being together. With Joffrey it had always been established they belonged together, belonged to each other. He was hers, and she was his. Her wedding vows would never break that, but she would not see her brother for years to come. She had to accept that her love for Joffrey would have to be put aside to focus on learning to love the man who would be the father of her children.

"I didn't think you would still be here." His voice cut through her thoughts. "I thought I'd have to go searching for you."

Johanna turned to him, a smile on her lips. His face was no longer covered in sweat, instead his hair dripped water down his face. She knew then he had taken the time to bathe.

"I thought of leaving, but I didn't see the point." Her voice remained light. "You are a stubborn man, no doubt you'd have found me."

She took his arm and followed him along. She tried to get back to the first night she met him, the night she had let her guard down for a moment. He had shown her flowers, and his wolf, somewhere in there she had let him see her. She let her mask fade for a moment, and she knew she had to get back to that. If she was ever to have children with Robb Stark, she had to learn to love him or as close as she could get to loving him. Her mother never loved her father, that much she could see, but she was not her mother. Johanna had tried to be half as strong as her mother, and she never imagined that she could raise children without love for the man who fathered them.

She felt herself tense up as the man walked her into the Godswood, she had not been there since the night of their wedding. She found no place among the old Gods of the trees, the ones who she held no faith in. But she did not speak up as her husband lead her deeper into the Godswood, finally stopping at a tall sentinel tree. He removed his cloak, spreading it out over the cold ground. She watched as he sat down, his back against the tree, his legs spread far enough for her to fit between them. Johanna hesitated a moment before settling down against him.

"Can you tell me what it was like for you in Kings Landing? What it was like growing up as a Princess?" His arms had wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him.

She thought for a moment, a hum coming from her lips. She didn't know why he was asking but she could give him something.

"When I was younger, I was never really beyond the walls of the Red Keep. I was mostly in lessons, and spending time with my family, I never minded being sheltered. When I got older I got bored, so I would take my brother Tommen to the beach in the evening." Her voice was distant, she was picturing it all in her mind. "We would bury feet in the sand, let the waves crash over our feet. It never lasted long my Uncle Jaime would find us."

She paused for a moment, a small giggle leaving her lips at the memory.

"I used to be terrified he'd tell my mother, she was so protective, but he would just kiss my head and promise not to tell. He loves me, and I adore my Uncle. He's the greatest man I have met, he's kind, and just."

She felt her husband laugh as well, and for a moment she felt herself relax further into his chest.

"How about Joffrey? Have you two always been close?"

She caught the hint of frustration as he asked about her brother. She hoped he had not noticed the relationship she had with Joff. Though she knew he would have accused her of such if he thought so much.

"We've always been close. Imagine having this other half of you, a total other piece that makes you feel whole, but it's a person. He's always been there, always looked out for me. I never thought I'd be without him, even when I learned I was to marry." She longed for him. "I always imagined marrying a Tyrell or some Lord of the south, I never thought I'd be far from him."

She felt his breath hitch at the mention of their marriage, and felt his arms squeeze her gently.

"I always knew for as long as I could remember that I was to marry the Princess of the Seven Kingdoms. I remember I was young and my father told me you were to come to Winterfell, and when it didn't happen I was so crushed."

She felt guilty, he seemed to have longed to marry her and yet she never wanted it.

"Well we are together now, and we have many years to get to know each other."

It was the truth, marriage was forever. She would spend the rest of her life at his side, no matter what was to come. She never intended for that, Joffrey was meant to be her forever. But the Gods had made her life a different story, had given her a true husband.

"I agree."

A moment of silence fell between them, but Johanna found comfort laying in his arms. The sun had begun to set and it made the Godswood even more beautiful. He held her as they sat there, his arms fitting perfectly around her slender waist.

"Do you miss them?" His voice was so soft, as if he was afraid to hear her answer.

"Of course, I do." She closed her eyes, picturing her family's faces. "Just as you miss your father, and sisters. Kings Landing is so far away, it only makes sense to miss the ones you love."

She felt his hands twitch, she did not know if he was angry, or if his emotions were getting the better of him. She knew he was close to his family, she knew it was not an easy thing for him to have them so far away. She wanted to comfort him, so she gently placed her hands over his hands.

"We will both see our families again and until then we focus on building our own family."

She sounded so hopeful, she felt she had to. Johanna needed to make him believe in her, and if she could, then she will believe in herself. Before she knew what was happening she found herself on her feet, her husband looking into her eyes.

"Do you mean those words?"

His blue eyes grew more intense as the silence fell between them. She wanted to mean them, but she knew she truly didn't. She wanted to focus on them, but it was hard with her brother's eyes constantly staring back at her in the mirror. She was a constant reminder of him, of the man she loved. She wanted to love her husband, but breaking every mirror in Winterfell wouldn't save her.

"I want to." She spoke. "I want to mean them, but I fear I can't give you what you want."

It was the most honest Johanna had been, with herself and with him. She was afraid. She was afraid she could never give him what he sought. She expected him to walk away, or to grow angry. Joffrey would have grown angry. She felt herself flinch as his hand touched her cheek, the gentle caress of his hand.

"I know you love someone else, Johanna." Her eyes grew wide. "I am not foolish, I do not know who he is, but I know it's someone. But I am not giving up, because I can't stop myself from falling."

She closed her eyes, letting his hand travel down her cheek, feeling his fingers graze her neck. His hand finally settled on her shoulder, the touch so gentle she could hardly feel it.

"You are more honorable the most men I've ever met, Robb Stark." Her voice was soft, her eyes still closed.

"Then you haven't met enough men, my love." His hand traveled down to her waist. "What's he like, this man you love?"

She stood frozen, her eyes opening slowly to meet his. What could she say to him? That the man she loved was her brother? Was her twin? That she had been a sin? How could she say such things?

"You do not wish to hear those words."

His second hand found her hip, and soon he was holding her body close to his.

"I would not ask if I could not handle your words, Johanna." His voice was a whisper. "He is far from us, and I know one day you will love me, but I still wish to know of him."

"He was.." She racked her brain. "He was kind."

She felt him laugh, but she truly didn't know what to say about Joff. How could she describe him to Robb without giving away who he was.

"Was he good to you? Did he love you too?"

"He was good, and yes he loves me.. loved me."

She could only hope he still loved her. Johanna had not doubted her brother's love, but not once had he written to her. She had gotten letters from her mother, her Uncle Jaime, but none from Joff. Had he simply forgotten her?

"Did he ever hurt you? I saw bruises on our wedding night? I could only assume they'd come from him."

Johanna felt as if she had been caught in her sin, but he couldn't know the bruises on her skin had come from Joff. Her husband had never once spoke on the bruises, and she only imagined he had missed them on her wedding night. She had thought he had forgotten, or simply not given a darn about them.

"He um.. no, he never.."

"Johanna, you've lied to me before and your quite bad at it." He lifted her face to look at him. "I won't ever hurt you, I promise. And I am sorry he ever did, because love is not about hurting them. You never hurt the one you love, ever."

She took herself from his arms, almost offended at his words. What did he know of love? She had loved Joff almost her whole life, she had loved him before she truly knew what the word meant. His anger got the better of him at times, and he had hurt her a few times but it never meant anything. She was the one to cause him to get angry, it had always been her fault.

"If I offended.."

"I am done speaking on this, Robb, please."

She was upset, his words hurt her. He knew nothing of her relationship with Joff. Her brother loved her, more than any other man could. He told her so.

"I am sorry, come on, we should get back."

She cursed herself, she had gone from having a moment in the beautiful Godswood with her husband, to thinking of Joff. She loved her twin, but she didn't even know how he felt now. She had been gone months from him, and he didn't even care to write to her. She was beginning to think Sansa had truly captured his attention. Without thinking Johanna stopped at the edge of the Godswood, it took a moment for Robb to turn back to find her standing still.

"Johanna, I said I am sorry." His voice held frustration. "We should find some dinner, and then find some sleep."

She didn't speak, she was battling herself. She wanted to mean the words she had told him, about starting a family. She wanted to love him, wanted to do something to make herself forget her twin. Loving Joff would bring her nothing but sadness, he was never going to bring her home.

"Johanna..?" Robb was now standing in front of her.

She looked at him, her eyes meeting his. She didn't think, didn't speak, she crashed her lips onto his. It was a fevered kiss, a wanton kiss. She didn't think of who she was kissing, just that she needed to kiss someone. She needed to feel something beyond the sinking emptiness she felt thinking she would never again see her brother. Her arms wrapped around his neck, letting his rough hands find her hips. The kiss continued for a moment, and when he pulled back confusion was evident on his face.

"What was that for?"

"Please, I do not wish to talk." She kissed him again.

It seemed to take no time at all for the two to be in their chambers, her lips pressed to his in heat. Her hands traveled to his hair, and as she ran her fingers through his curls, he let out a small moan. She let out a sound as she was unceremoniously thrown onto their bed, her husband soon looming of her. She watched him undo his top, throwing it across the room. She didn't speak as he pushed skirt of her dress up, or when he removed her small clothes.

"If you want me to stop just say the word." His voice was full of lust mixed with concern.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and once more pulled him into a kiss. As she kissed him, she felt his fingers run along her slick folds. She hid her moan, but as he pushed his finger inside of her Johanna let the moans come from her mouth. She let the pleasure wash over her his as he added another finger to inside of her, the feeling something she had never truly experienced before. The kisses shared between them were rushed, and his fingers were just as rushed inside of her.

When he pulled his fingers from inside her, Johanna found herself sitting up and removing his breeches. She felt desperate, and she wanted him so much. The scary thing was she didn't know if she wanted him for him, or if she was using him just to fill her empty desires. Using him to fill the hole left by her brother. Once her husband was rid of his breeches, she felt his hands urgently and roughly tugging off her dress.

Unlike their last few times in bed, there was an obvious change in their pace. His hand raked over her naked body, his grip on her was rougher than she was used to from him. She kissed him, and tried to pull him closer but he seemed to be teasing her. After what seemed like ages, her husband finally pushed his cock inside of her. Johanna wrapped her legs around him, pulling him as deep into her as she could. Johanna felt as if she was losing her mind as his thrusts became fast, and his lips moved down her neck and to her chest. His hands were still roaming her body and her own hands had settled on his back, slightly digging her nails into his back.

Robb kept thrusting into her roughly, while she let his name continued to fall from her lips. Without warning Robb pulled his cock from inside of her moving to lay on his back, without skipping a beat Johanna found herself riding her husband. Her hands were placed upon his strong chest while his found her hips. He held her hips tightly, helping her move up and down upon his cock. She felt her head fall back in pleasure, and together she found herself letting go with her husband. She fell against his chest, her breathing completely erratic.

"I love you, Johanna." His voice was a whisper.

She didn't speak, she just found herself laying there with her head upon his chest. She had never imagined he could be so rough, or that she could truly let go of herself with him. She was still afraid she only allowed it to happen in such a manner because she was filling a hole inside of herself.

"Get some rest, my love."

She didn't argue, she felt her eyes closing. She felt herself falling into a deep sleep, filled with memories of her past.

* * *

 _Johanna stood at the beach of her feet buried deep in the sand. They were leaving in the morning to go North, and Johanna could not be any less pleased. Jon Arryn, the man who had been nothing but kind to her, had past and losing someone was hard for all. She was going to leave home with the memory of a funeral in her head._

" _Johanna." Her Uncle's voice cut through her head._

" _Uncle Jaime." She turned her head just as her Uncle walked unto the beach, his golden armor shining in the moonlight._

 _She saw the look in his face, worry was etched onto is young features. He came to where she stood, her feet buried as the water washed over her._

" _You need to go back to the keep, lioness."_

 _She didn't want to go back, she didn't want to go north. She would marry a ruthless man, who would never love her. Joffrey was the only man who would love her._

" _I don't want to."_

" _Your father demands it, and you know I can not fight him." His hand fell on her shoulder. "I wish I could keep you home, Johanna, but you have a duty."_

 _She knew she had a duty, she always knew she had a duty. She slowly removed her feet from the sand, and began her way back to the Keep. She knew by the morning she would be leaving for her new life._

" _Johanna, I know you are sad." His voice came from behind her. "Just never forget we love you."_

* * *

 **Robb**

She lay in his arms, her breathing had long since gone soft. He did not wish to fall asleep, he was enjoying the sight of her laying against him. He never intended to speak to her of the love he knew she had for someone else, but after the letter he had gotten from Jon he felt he needed to. He had known, but having someone confirm his own thoughts made him feel less insane. Jon on the other hand had gone completely mad. His half brother's theory was true madness. Robb would not even allow his mind to linger upon it.

He too never thought they would make love in such a manner. He thought Johanna was fragile, sweet and innocent but there was something lingering beneath her surface. There may be a wolf lingering somewhere in his wife after all. He would have to find out on his own, but he knew it would time some time.

Robb felt her shift in his arms, her hair falling softly against his chest. He had told her he loved her, and he knew the words had fallen from his lips in a moment of pleasure. Robb also knew he had meant his words, he loved her. Johanna was everything he had imagined she would be, beautiful, dutiful and graceful. She showed him more of herself, and he knew with time he would begin to see more of her.

"Lord Robb." A gentle knock came to the door.

Robb knew it was Maester Luwin, which meant only bad news would come. He slid from the bed, and donned his breeches. Robb could not answer the door with his cock bared. When he opened the door, Robb slipped from the chambers as not to wake Johanna.

"Maester Luwin, what can I do for you?" His worry was evident.

"Word from Kings landing, and your mother, my Lord."

Robb felt his blood run ice cold, the fear setting in. He stood there thinking of all the things that could have happened. All the horrors that could have reached his mother, and his sisters. He knew his father was a strong man, his worries were for his sisters.

"What word?"

He watched the old man wring his hands together, his voice remained steady though as he spoke.

"Your mother has taken Tyrion Lannister as a prisoner for his crimes, she believes he was the one to send the man to kill Bran." Robb wished he had known sooner, he would have kept the damned Imp in Winterfell.

"And of Kings Landing?"

"I am sorry, my Lord, your father was attacked on the streets of the city. Jory, and the rest of the men accompanying your father that night were killed."

Robb felt a sorrow wash over him, Jory was a good man, but the sorrow quickly turned to anger and worry.

"My father? How is he?"

"He took a spear to the knee, my Lord, but he lives."

He did not doubt his father was alright, but the years have long since caught up to the man. An injury to his knee would be painful, and very difficult for him. Robb did not know how to feel truly, his anger was all he could comprehend.

"I am going to hope the King will bring whoever attacked my father to justice."

But he knew by the look on the Maester's face, his words were premature.

"I doubt that, my Lord, for it was the Queen's brother. Jaime Lannister was the one to attack your father."

He bit the inside of his cheek, rage filling him. Any composure Robb Stark had left was gone, and all that remained was rage. His hands shook, and he could say nothing to the Maester. He bowed his head to the man before slipping back into his chambers, they would speak more in the morning. His saving grace was that his wife still lay sound asleep in their bed. He didn't know if his anger could be concealed, and he knew better than to speak of her family. If Robb wished to keep his wife he could not speak to her on the matters of her family.

He slipped into bed beside her, the young woman sound asleep. She was still facing his direction, her hair falling softly over her face. He reached a hand out and pushed the golden locks away from her face. She was so beautiful. It was a shame that her blood, her family, had openly attacked his own. Robb knew something bad was coming, and he could only hope Johanna would be on his side. He was her husband after all. But he knew that blood would always come first, and he would pick his own over her. No doubt she would do the same.

"We have a long road ahead of use, my love." He whispered.

Before finding himself in a comfortable spot Robb leaned over to kiss her head. He knew her mother's blood could not be trusted, he could only hope Johanna could be. Her family had no doubt set the men to kill the unborn babe. Johanna would one day learn the truth of them, and he did not pity the person who had to tell her those truths. It sure as hell wouldn't be him.

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter is meant to show the different types of love going on. Johanna's mad love for Joffrey, her love for her family, and Robb's love for her. Also Johanna's growing love for him**.


	12. I promise

**Author's Note: I don't know if I really like this chapter, but I hope you guys do! We have some Joff in here, that part I really loved writing. Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. It means a lot to me. Anyway, enjoy lovelies.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Game of Thrones, or A song of Ice and Fire. I own only my OC, Johanna.**

* * *

 **Chapter 11: I promise**

 **Joffrey**

Months, his sister had been gone months. With each passing day Joffrey could feel himself slipping into madness, and anger. She was his sister, his lover, and yet he hadn't seen her in months. She wrote to him, each raven went unanswered. He couldn't, he wouldn't. He would not send her a word until he could bring her home, and lay her in his bed. He wanted to feel her again, make love to her again. Own her again. She was his. He had to have her back.

Joffrey was forced to entertain the idea of Sansa Stark, the little northern bitch he didn't want. She would never replace his sister in his heart, and she would never have his love. She was foolish to believe his little token necklace meant a thing to him, it didn't. She meant nothing to him.

Joffrey only cared for the golden hair, and green eyes of his twin. For her soft skin, and sweet taste. He needed her, wanted her. He tried to tell his mother, but she didn't listen, and even his father cared not. No one in his family missed Johanna like he had.

"You're back early" one of the Kings Guard found him walking the halls.

Joffrey had returned from the hunt with his father earlier, the man had wanted to hunt a wild boar. Joffrey would have stayed, and sought his father's favor but the man was long since drunk. He knew when to pick his battles with his father.

"Don't mind my business," was Joffrey's only response.

He didn't feel like arguing with the guards, or anyone for that matter. He wanted to find Johanna, but he knew that couldn't happen. Instead he found himself in his chambers, his body rigid and angry. It was not fair. Why did his sister have to marry that idiot from the North, he could never love her. Johanna was his, and his alone.

" _Joffrey," his name left her mouth in a breathless whimper as he pressed his lips to her neck._

 _They were young, much too young, but Joffrey did not care. He had seen Johanna dancing with a young Lord at the feast, a bashful lad from some southern house. Rage had grown inside him when he saw the way the Lord look at Johanna, a girl of only twelve. He would never allow such men to look at her._

 _He cradled his sister's head in his hand as his lips continued to leave sweet kisses on her neck. She would know she was his, from this day until the end. Johanna Baratheon, his twin, his sister would be his forever._

" _Joffrey, if someone sees," her eyes were darting around his chambers._

" _Hush, my sweet, no one will see," he cooed against her neck._

 _She brought out the best in him, everyone had always said so. When he killed the cat, gutted the thing, she had been there to calm him. She had looked at him with wide green eyes, and a frown when she saw the bloodied hands. But she never yelled at him, she washed his hands, and kissed his head._

" _Joffrey," she whined, trying to push him away._

" _I promise you, Johanna, no one will see us," he whispered. He gently pushed his sister against the warm wall of his chambers. Her blue dress clashing against the red tinted wall. "You want to be mine, don't you?"_

 _She didn't answer at first, and he watched her face carefully. He watched the way her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, and blush crept onto her cheeks. He knew what she wanted, she wanted him and he wanted her._

" _I am to be married Joffrey," she argued, "we both know that."_

" _I do not care, about some boy you must marry," though his voice said other wise. Joffrey cared, it made him angry. Johanna had been his, the moment they came from the womb together. He had seen her grow into a woman, his woman. "You're mine."_

 _His breath was warm against her neck, and soon his lips were pressed to her soft flesh again. He had kissed Johanna a few times, but they were young but now it was different. Something had changed inside of him. Seeing her with the Lord, the way the older boy placed his hands upon his sister's waist. He would never let her go, never._

" _If I am yours, then yo_ _u are_ _mine," she smiled._

" _Of course," he whispered._

Joffrey shook the memory from his mind, he would no longer be able to do that. Not until she was home with him, and until then he found it better not to think too much on her. If he thought too hard he would imagine her under her husband. He wondered if she gave herself to him willingly? Or if the Lord had to force his sister's legs open. Johanna never denied him.

He had known that some intercourse between the two had taken place, his sister had been with child. When his mother told him of the lost child inside his sister's womb he did not weep. He knew Johanna would, and he almost thought the wolf would send her home because of it. He had hoped as much, but alas he did not get his wish. He would find another way to bring Johanna home.

"Will father bring Johanna home?" He was bothered by his sister's question as they sat around the table.

His mother had demanded they all eat together, her and all her children. Joffrey had little care for his younger siblings. He thought Tommen weak, and Myrcella annoying. Johanna favored them of course, coddled them often.

"I do not believe so, my love," his mother spoke. He looked to his mother, and saw her green eyes filled with worry.

"He should," Joffrey spoke. "Why should my sister be in the hands of that family? They have attacked us, and taken our blood hostage. Why would father sit back and let this happen?"

When Joffrey had learned of the attack in the city, and the injured Lord Stark, his only concern was Johanna. His sister lay in the hands of their enemy, and his father would do nothing.

"I know you are worried about Johanna, Joffrey," his mother spoke with concern. "I worry for her too, but your father believes the boy will not hurt her. She is his wife, there is nothing we can truly do."

He could tell it pained his mother, and he cared not. He only cared for what the wolf would do to Johanna, his sweet and precious sister. So innocent, and gentle. Far too kind, and sheltered for her own good.

"I'll get Johanna home, no matter the cost," he mumbled.

"Do you promise?" It was Tommen who questioned him, his green eyes pleading.

Joffrey sighed, and closed his eyes for a moment. He thought of what Johanna would want him to do, want him to say. _Be kind to them, their our blood, brother. I love them, and so should you._

"I promise," he smiled.

* * *

 **Johanna**

She had thought things had finally settled between her and her husband, but she was wrong. He was distant, his words short and his temperament cold. Bran had been injured on his ride, but no one would speak to her of what happened. Even Bran had become tight lipped with her, and Johanna was beginning to feel more alone. She found her only true company came from the two children of Winterfell, her husband on serving to keep her warm at night.

"Bran, may I sing for you?" Johanna had not sung in some time, slowly feeling herself slip into sadness.

"Of course," was his only reply.

Johanna sat beside the boy's bed, and closed her eyes. She let the words of the song fall from her lips, and let the melody fill her head. She had heard the song enough time to know the tune it'd be accompanied by. She thought of home when she sang, thought of her little brother and her little sister. She thought of her Uncles and mother. She thought of Joffrey.

"I hate to bother you both," Robb's voice cut through, "but I need to speak with my wife."

Johanna stopped singing and turned her green eyes to her husband. His tone was almost icy, and his eyes held no hint of his emotions. Johanna could not understand him, she believed everything had been going so well. They made love, he told her he loved her and now he only spoke to her before bed. Whispering a good night before wrapping an arm around her and slipping into sleep.

"I will come see you later, Bran," she whispered. Johanna removed herself from the seat beside the bed. She walked over to Robb, taking his arm. "What can I do for you, Robb?"

He didn't speak at first, he just guided her through the halls of Winterfell. In no time they were in their chambers. Johanna stood while Robb took a seat on their bed, his head heavy in his hands.

"Robb, what is it that troubles you?" She questioned. "Why have you grown so cold to me?"

She had meant to ask him sooner, meant to ask him when he began to move away from her, but she hadn't. Johanna was growing to trust him, but she did not know if he had grown to trust her yet. He looked up, his blue eyes sending chills down her spine. His eyes held so much emotion, so much intensity. She felt a pit grow inside of her.

"Johanna," his voice was soft, "we need discuss some things."

She watched his eyes, watched them scan her body. It wasn't like he normally looked at her, it wasn't with passion or admiration. His eyes were calculating, judging, as if trying to see her strength.

"What things?" She didn't know if she should sit, but she remained standing. Her hands clutched tightly together, a fear coming over her. "Has something happened?"

 _Joffrey, Myrcella, Tommen, mother, Uncle Jaime and Uncle Tyrion._ Her family ran through her mind, her concern mounting.

"My father was injured a few days ago," he kept his head down.

Johanna felt a pang of relief mixed with sadness. She felt bad for him, but she was glad her family was alright.

"I am sorry," she spoke. Johanna made a move toward him, reaching her hand out for him but he moved away. "What's the matter?"

"I need to know something," he locked his eyes with hers, "I need to know that you're on my side, that you're my wife, and that you support me."

Johanna dug her teeth into her bottom lip, her chest clenching. She didn't know what to say to him, and she didn't know what he was asking her to say. Was he asking her to pick him over her own blood? Because she could never do such a thing. She met his eyes, searching for some kind of hint for what he wanted her to say.

"Robb," she drew his name out, "I am your wife."

It was a truth, she was his wife. No matter how she felt of it, no matter how much she longed for her brother. He was her husband, and she is wife.

"I need to know that we come first, you and I."

He was standing now, his face stern. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She pictured her family, her love and her blood. They would always come first, until her children. He came close to her, his body inches from her own. Their eyes locked, and his hand found her shoulder.

"What is going on, Robb? You aren't telling me something."

He let his fingers slide from her shoulder up her neck until his hand cupped her face.

"Please, just tell me I'm not wrong. Tell me I can trust you to always be on my side."

She could hear the questions in his voice, the worry. She leaned against his hand, and let the warmth fill her.

"I am on your side," she whispered. "We are together through what comes. From this day until the end of our days remember?"

Johanna shivered as his second hand came to rest on her hip, his grip firm. She felt like he was trying to make sure she was real, like if he had let go she would disappear. Did he truly mean he loved her? She had not tried to think too much on his words that night.

"I remember," he whispered. Robb pulled her close, pressing her body against him. "I am sorry."

He whispered his words into her hair, his lips landing on the top of her head. She felt compelled to lay her head on his chest, and soon both his hands were resting on her lower back.

"Why are you sorry?"

"You'll know one day," he mumbled. She went to look up at him but he held her securely against him. "I want us to be a family, Johanna, you have to know that."

"Robb, you are worrying me," Johanna said. She was truly growing worried. "You can tell me what is bothering you, if it is more than your father, I will understand."

He didn't speak, he just held her. He placed his head on top of hers and just held her. Johanna wrapped her arms around him and embraced him. She didn't know what was going on, but it was in her nature to comfort him. She felt like she was in his arms for hours, but she knew it was only a matter of minutes. His breathing slowed and for a moment it seemed like he was completely calm.

"Why don't we sit?" She offered.

He didn't speak, he held her while he made his way to the bed. He sat down pulling into his lap, wrapping his arms securely around her waist. It wasn't what she had in mind but it was nice. He hands held her tightly, his head resting on her shoulder. She could tell something was bothering him, he ignored her for days and now he wanted to be all over her.

"Robb," she spoke his name softly. She hoped it would coax something from him.

"I can't tell you everything, my love," he whispered into her shoulder. "I want to, Gods do I want to, but I can not."

She turned to look at him, taking her hand and cupping his face gently. Johanna looked into his eyes, and she could see all the pain he held. His father being hurt, his brother and all of it beyond his control. It was evident there were things he couldn't tell her.

"You can tell me," she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, "it's alright."

"I promised you I wouldn't speak about your family," his voice was stiff.

She swallowed a lump in her throat. Her family had done something, or at least in his eyes they had. Johanna knew she would not know what happened unless she got him to tell her. She had to know, she needed to know.

"It's alright, I can handle it."

"Your Uncle is the one who attacked my father, and your family's men killed my father's most trusted men," his voice was soft.

Johanna felt like someone had stabbed her in the gut. She felt a wrenching pain in her stomach, she didn't want to believe it. Her Uncle would never do such a thing, not Uncle Jaime. He was the kindest man she had ever known, and honorable. He was a golden knight. He wouldn't do such a thing. Johanna stood from Robb, her knees almost giving out on her as she stood.

"I have to go," she said. Johanna turned to leave but Robb soon grabbed her wrist. "Please, I need to go for a moment."

"No, we are in this together," he replied. He turned her to face him, his blue eyes looking down on her. "I know you don't believe me, and if you do then you are dealing with conflicted feelings. Johanna I am not going to try and turn you against your family, you asked me to tell you and I did."

"I know, Robb, I just need to think."

She tried to turn from him but he would not loosen his grip on her arm. She let out a sigh and eventually gave up. She turned back to him with pursed lips. She didn't know what to think. She didn't want to believe him, didn't want to believe her Uncle could do such a thing. There would have been a reason, there was always a reason for what her family had done. Her Uncle Jaime had slayed a King to save the people of Kings Landing. Perhaps Lord Stark had meant to harm someone, and her Uncle had to stop him.

"I will let you go," he resealed her wrist, "just promise me that you meant what you said. That we are together in this."

"I promise," she whispered as she walked away from him.

* * *

A/N: I don't know if Joffrey was OOC.. but the part of his promise was more about Johanna and himself not about his siblings. Also I really wanted Johanna to be given some information about what her family was doing, Robb just left out the part about her Uncle Tyrion being held hostage. Jerk!


	13. Loss

**Authors Note: So here is the next update. Sorry for the delay, and the crappy update. Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones, I own only Johanna.**

 **Chapter 12: Loss**

* * *

 **Johanna**

Johanna felt as if someone had gutted her, taken a sword and sliced her body open. She had not uttered a word to her husband in a week. She had chose to ignore him, even with his pleading glances and furrowed brow. She knew Robb was growing increasingly irate with her but she couldn't help it, she was bitter. Johanna wasn't bitter with him, but with herself. She didn't want to believe her Uncle Jaime, the man who had always been her shinning Knight, could so something so cruel. Killing men in the streets, attacking Robb's father, she couldn't accept that. But over the week she had begun to believe his word.

The words had settled into her mind, and into her heart. Johanna felt sick. She hated herself for believing Robb but she knew he had no reason to lie to her. He gained nothing from telling her about her family. He didn't get a prize or anything for revealing the horrid thing her Uncle had done to his father. Johanna knew her husband didn't even want to tell her, he was willing to keep it from her for the sake of their marriage. He loved her, Robb Stark loved her and she didn't know what to do. His love was different, and it confused her.

He wasn't selfish, he was trying to protect her. There was no motive in it for him, he was honestly looking out for her. And how did she repay him? She ignored him for a week. She didn't speak to him, look at him. She spoke only to his brothers, and it drove Robb mad. She could tell.

She had made her mind up after a week she would find him, and tell him what was going on. Johanna was on her way to see him when Maester Luwin handed her a piece of parchment before leaving. He didn't say a word, but his sad eyes said much. Johanna looked at the words scrawled across the page, and once more it felt like her body was rid of it's organs. Pain tore through her and tears filled her eyes.

Johanna made her way to the small Sept built for the Lady of Winterfell, for Catelyn Stark. She found herself kneeling and praying, her chest breaking open. She did not need to feel this aching sadness, she cared not for the man. He was her father, her blood, but he meant nothing to her. Why did she ache? Why did her heart shatter as she clutched the parchment in her hands. He had never given her the time of day, never loved her, never showed her anything beyond contention. Why did she care now?

"Lady Johanna?" She didn't look to the voice, she was frozen.

She didn't understand, she couldn't understand why tears were falling down her face. Robert Baratheon was her father but she never loved him, and yet he was dead. He was dead and she felt like everything was broken around her. First her Uncle kills people, and her father dies. She should have been there, should have been home. Her mother would not be mourning her father but she would be worried for her twin brother. Her siblings no doubt were upset, the young ones they didn't know any better. It was their father, their blood.

"Lady Johanna," this time she turns to look at Theon Greyjoy. "Robb wishes to see you, follow me."

She didn't move, she turned her face away again. She didn't want him to see her crying, to see the tears on her face. She was not one to cry in front of anyone, let alone men like Theon Greyjoy. She heard him sigh and finally walk away, leaving her to think. Her mind was a mess, and all she could do was kneel down on the stone floor and cry. She didn't want this sadness, this anguish, for a man who did nothing for her. He shipped her away, sent her to marry a stranger, ripped her from everything she had ever known. Yet she wept for him, mourned the loss of the man who fathered her. She would miss him, even if she couldn't say it out loud. She didn't even want to admit to herself that she was upset. She was growing weak, Winterfell and Robb Stark were making her weak.

"Johanna," his voice only caused her to keep her head down. "Johanna, you can't keep ignoring me."

His footsteps were heavy on the stone floor, and his voice was as cold as the winter air. She didn't look, she just kept her eyes screwed shut willing the tears to stop. She would not cry in front of him, not again. She felt him kneel behind her, his warmth against her back. She didn't move, didn't flinch as his arms made there way around her waist.

"Just talk to me, you promised we were in this together," he mumbled.

"I can't," her voice came out in a chocked whisper.

"You can, you just don't want to," he nearly growled at her. "You're mad because I told you the truth about your Uncle, and it bothers you. It bothers you that the one person you have some much faith in is capable of hurting innocents."

She knew he was right, she was angry with him and bitter. But that had long since gone, those feelings had been replaced with irreparable sadness. A sadness she didn't want. She clutched the parchment tighter before placing in his hand. He removed his arms from her waist no doubt to read it.

"Johanna,I-"

"Don't, don't say it," her words came from gritted teeth. "You saying sorry won't fix it, won't bring him back. It won't change how I am feeling."

She was so sad, so broken, and it was killing her. She lost her whole life back in Kings Landing, she had to marry a stranger, her brother probably didn't love her anymore, she lost her child and now her father. She had nothing. She could do nothing. She was stupid, and foolish. She just wanted to be the princess again, be the girl locked away inside the Red Keep. The girl who would sneak away to bury her feet in the sand even for just a moment, this wasn't the life she wanted.

"He was a good man, my father-"

"He wasn't a good man, Robb Stark, don't even try to paint him that way," she was on her feet in an instant. She turned to look her husband in the eye, he too now standing. "He was cruel, and drunk. He had many women in his bed, and he didn't care about his children. Yet here I am crying and mourning for a man who gave no thought to me."

She didn't mean to lose her temper but she could let him paint her father as some great King. The man was a horrible father, and a nasty man. He was not good, or kind, in anyway.

"You don't mean that, he was your father."

"You don't understand because your family is so perfect," she groaned. Johanna went to leave,went to turn from him.

Johanna didn't mean to say that, didn't want to say that. The Lannisters and their blood were perfect. They were composed and poised, yet here she was breaking all that. She was not going to let him know how damaged her family was, how messed up her father was. She was like her mother but for a moment she felt her fury, the fury of her father.

"Johanna, we don't have to talk about it," his hand gently touched her shoulder. "We don't have to discuss any of it, just don't do this to me again."

She knew he was right, she couldn't ignore him. Not now. Everything was changing, and for a reason unknown to her she knew it was just the beginning. His father was attacked by her Uncle, and then her King father was dead. Life would be changing for both of them.

"My brother will be King you know?" She pulled at her hair, wondering how she felt about it.

"I do," Robb did not sound pleased by the idea. His grip on her shoulder tighten lightly, turning her to look into his eyes. "Do you think he'll make a good King?"

"Of course ,I do, he's my brother."

Johanna wanted to believe her own words but her doubts about Joffrey had increased in the months without letters. She felt heartbroken, crushed, that her one love couldn't even send her a raven. She sent him dozens, and he could do nothing to respond to her. Did Joffrey no longer want her? He had promised when he was King she would go home, but she no longer held on to that fantasy.

Robb said nothing more, his eyes were lingering on her face. She didn't know what he was looking at, what he was searching for her in her face. Their eyes met, and for a moment their gaze lingered together before she turned her eyes away. Tears began to fall again, the small anger she had felt replaced once more with a sadness she could not handle. As she let the silent tears fall Robb pulled her into his chest, letting her face bury into him.

"It's alright to be sad, to mourn him," his voice was muffled against her hair. "You could hate him but it doesn't change that he was your father and some part of you loved him."

Johanna knew he was right, but she didn't care. She didn't want to be broken, she wanted to be like her mother. She knew in Kings Landing her mother would no doubt be fine, and be strong, but yet Johanna was broken. Everything had been taken from her, and everything had changed for her. Nothing was as it should have been, nothing. Her life was meant to be good, but it was nothing but a mess.

"We'll get through this," he pressed his lips to her hair. "You mean a lot to me, and we can do this together. I just need you to trust me."

"I need you to trust me," was her muffled response.

Robb didn't answer, didn't say anything just held her tighter. She did not doubt his lack of trust in her, but she was beginning not to blame him. Her Uncle had attacked his father, but he had to trust her just as much. Until they trusted each other, until they learned to be at peace with one another nothing would work out between them.

"Come now, let's get you some dinner, my love."

She didn't argue as she pulled back from him, a faint smile upon her small lips. He took her hand in his own and walked her from the Sept, a peaceful silence between them. Robb Stark loved her, but he didn't trust her, and Johanna could not understand how that was possible. Could you love someone you didn't trust?

* * *

 **Robb**

Johanna had finally fallen asleep beside him, her even breathing bringing an overwhelming comfort to Robb. She had ignored him for a week, it was driving him to madness but when Theon found him to tell him she was crying, he felt horrid. He couldn't imagine what her tears were over, he thought for a fleeting moment it was his fault. It wasn't until he found her that he knew the truth. She had lost her father, the King was dead.

He didn't know what that would mean for his family but he was worried, with the King dead and his father injured anything could happen. Jaime Lannister had fled to Casterly Rock after attacking his father, and if his father made a move against them it would surely mean war now that his friend was dead. What would that mean for Robb and his wife? Would war end their marriage?

She had asked him if he trusted her, but he didn't. He couldn't trust her, not yet. He knew it was wrong but he had to worry about too much, her family had made a very big mess by trying to kill his family. Johanna's own family took her child from her, they were in the wrong, but he knew he couldn't speak. She wouldn't believe him anyway, he wasn't sure he even believed himself. Why would he family do that?

"Robb," his wife whimpered beside him. Her eyes still shut. "Robb, please don't."

She was shaking, and her breathing began to elevate. With a sigh Robb pulled her close, laying her head upon his chest. The shaking in her body ceased as he held her, the whimpering soon leaving her as well. He didn't know what her dream was, but he knew it was him who was causing her the pain. He was the problem, to her anyway, she failed to see the true issue.

As Robb held her close to his chest he wished he could tell her everything, tell her all the truths but he knew he couldn't. He had to protect her, and he would do so for as long as he could. He had to. Robb had to protect everyone.

* * *

 **A/N: I know this chapter is short, and probably sucks but I have been having issues writing. I hope you like it anyway.**


	14. Laid Bare

**A/N: I first want to thank those of you who have stuck with me and my stories because it's amazing. Shortly after posting my last chapter on my computer broke and along with it I lost months of chapters. I have just now gotten a new computer and I am slowly re-writing what I have lost. It's not as I wished it to be, especially this story and chapter, but after much thinking over the last few months I may take this in a slight different direction. I hope no one minds, anyway. I hope you all like this chapter, and I want to thank those who reviewed, favorited and followed. You are all really lovely. I will be updating my other stories hopefully this week.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones, The song of Ice and Fire or the characters that belong to them. I own only Johanna and my plot.**

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Johanna

It was not long after her father's death that Johanna found herself in the Godswood alone. She never imagined she would wander into such a place on her own but she felt herself being drawn to the mossy ground before the Weirwood tree. She had left her husband in the keep, his brothers at his side, she needed a moment alone. Robb had not left her side in the days after her father's passing, constantly keeping a close eye on her. She was unsure if he was worried for her or worried she would cause harm to him. Something had changed inside him, or it hadn't changed and it was something she had just come to notice.

Her mind had been clear for the first time since her return to Winterfell. No longer did she feel weighed down by the thoughts of her lost child, her father's death or her Uncle's actions. Johanna had found a way to push those thoughts aside, and focus on her life in Winterfell. In her clear state of mind she began to notice her husband's subtle actions, his shifting glances and fidgeting hands. Something was plaguing him, but yet he made no move to share it with her. Had he begun an affair? She had wondered over that thought for days. It would explain his absences when he thought she slept, the moments he would slip from their bed.

She knew the tactic; she had done the same in the beginning of their marriage. Could she blame him for the affair? Hardly, but she felt ashamed that he may have stepped from their marriage bed. She had not denied him anything he wanted, she had given him what he wanted in the ways of pleasure and yet he still left while she slept.

Johanna had never wished for him to step away, and as hypocritical as it was the thought of it turned her blood to fire. He was her husband, he was meant only for her. She cursed those thoughts, in her time of peace she had found herself thinking of Robb too much. Joffrey had slipped slowly from her mind only to slowly be replaced with frantic thoughts of her husband. She was being quite a fickle woman, but she could not help it. She had thought love was strong, and rock solid, but it seemed it could shift like the sand.

"Johanna?" Her husband's confused voice found her among the trees as he came into view. "I had not expected you to be out here," she could hear the nervous tone to his voice, and saw the confusion in his eyes.

"Had you planned to meet your mistress out here, among your Gods?" She hated the bitter tone to her voice, and yet the words spilled forth.

Robb stood stock still, his whole body rigid as Grey Wind stepped from behind him. Johanna looked to the wolf admiring how much he had grown over the months she had been in Winterfell. But it took no more than a second for her eyes to go back to her husband.

"Excuse me? What are you accusing me of, wife?" He only called her wife when his tone rose to anger, frustration drove him to it and she knew it. "You believe me to be seeking comfort in another woman?"

"Are you not? Is a woman not the reason you slip from bed while you think I slumber, is a woman not the reason you look around as if a ghost is haunting the corners of the keep?"

She watched as the grimace on his face dropped and in its place was a frown. He was saddened by her words.

"You do not trust me," it was no question.

"And you do not trust me," she responded, a hand upon her hip. "You wanted this to work Robb, and instead you stray for another woman. Just be honest with me and I will look past it, as a wife should."

She was becoming her mother, a woman who could look past the infidelity of her husband. She had always revered her mother, but if she thought her mother so strong why did the thought of Robb fucking another hurt her so.

"I am not sleeping with another woman, wife, I assure of that," he spoke evenly. "When I leave our bed at night it is not to find myself in the heat of another."

She found herself walking toward him, closing the distance between them. She had not been so close to him outside their bed in weeks despite his constant presence and she would deny the warmth she felt at his closeness.

"Then where do you go, Robb, tell me that?" She looked up at him, her green eyes shimmering. "If you do not leave me to fuck another, where is it you go?"

He took a step back from her, and the small act caused her chest to constrict. She did not want to feel this way toward him, not when she had spent months fighting it at every turn. She had spent so long trying to keep herself chained to the past, chained to the man she had loved. But in the months without word from her brother, in the months of spending each night in her husband's arms her doubts had swallowed her whole.

"I can not tell you," he said simply, his blue eyes cast away. "I say that for your safety, and for the sake of our marriage."

"I care not," she argued, "I do not care about your reasons. You demand honesty from me; you demand I agree to be on your side. I am here, on your side, and not once have I tried to flee." Her hands crossed over her chest, anger flaring in her. "You think I could not have fled while you slept? We both know it was a possibility, and with my father dead there was no reason for me to linger here."

Her words were truth and she knew he could see that. Johanna had thought of leaving the night she received word of her father's death. She thought of finding a horse and riding south to Joffrey but she didn't. She had promised Robb that she would be on his side that they were in it together, and even if the promise was made out of fabrication at the time things had changed. He had done nothing but help her, hold her and love her in the months she had been there. Even as she gave him the cold shoulder, and shut him out, he loved her.

"You are correct," he conceded, a heavy sigh shaking his shoulders. "I am sorry if my actions have led you to believe I was stepping away from our marriage, I really do."

She nodded, her eyes fixed on him with cool calculation. Guilt was eating her up inside, and for a moment she longed to confess her own crime but she did not.

"I do not wish to taint you image of your family, Johanna, and thus I keep my activities a secret."

"What does my family have to do with you leaving our bed?"

She knew she should not have asked, she was sure the answer was not what she was looking for, not truly. His eyes told her as much when he turned to look at her, sadness etched on his face mixed with an unforgivable anger in his eyes.

"Do you ever wonder where your guards have gone to? The ones who rode north with your family, the ones who brought you home from the North?" He questioned her.

She pondered the thought for a moment, forgetting all about the guards. She had been so closed off in her mind for months after her return that she had forgotten they had even existed.

"I thought maybe they had gone south," she drew the words together with much uncertainty.

"If only they had," he responded walking toward her to take her hand. He guided Johanna to sit before the Weirwood tree, much as they had the last time they were in the wood. Instead this time they faced each other on their knees. "What I will tell you is truth; I swear it by the Old Gods and the new."

She had never heard him swear to the Gods, nor had she herself ever done it. She was devout in her faith, and never once made such a promise. She knew he was very devout as well, and though maintained different Gods they had never argued on religion. It may have been their only common ground, that and his siblings of course.

"Speak, then, and I shall listen." She relaxed back on her heels as she knelt before her husband.  
Something about the moment felt more intimate than any other they had shared. Both were clothed and their knees barely touched as they knelt before each other but Johanna had never felt so exposed. They were laying themselves bare in a way they had not in their time together, not since she had wept in the bath after losing her child. For a moment she was sure it was the most intimate she had ever been with anyone.

"Your guards, the men your family sent to protect you, are locked in the dungeons of Winterfell," he spoke the words with no remorse or guilt. He was strong in his tone, steady.

"What," shock filled her, "why?"

Robb reached out for her, taking one of her hands into his own. She was constantly amazed at how large his hands were compared to his own, and yet they fit perfectly together. He placed her hand on his thigh, placing his own above hers.

"I had reason to suspect they had something to do with an attack against one of my house," he paused for a moment, as if waiting for her to speak but she said nothing, "against you."

She freezes for a moment before she tries to move her hand from his grip. He had to be lying, she could not believe him.

"Do not pull away, Johanna, let me explain," he held her gaze and his grip on her hand. "Do you know what tansy is? The flower, the herb?"

She pondered for a moment, trying to think back to her lessons but she never learned much. So she thought back to the books she had read in the library at home, the ones her mother did not sanction her to read.

"It is an ingredient in moon tea is it not? The tea they give women to prevent the conception of a child?"

Her husband nodded with a solemn expression on his face, "Maester Luwin found a box of the herb among your guards belonging upon your arrival from the Wall."

His words were simple but they made a sinking feeling settle in her gut. She was not foolish, she may have been when she came to Winterfell but she had learned things over time, and she could understand what he was trying to say. But it made no sense she was already far along with child, too far along for moon tea to work.

"But I was," she paused and worried her lip between her teeth, "surely it could not have," she could not finish, the memory coming back.

She tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall as her husband quickly snatched her up in his arms. She did not mind the uncomfortable position as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I am sorry, my love, but if they had given you enough in your tea it is possible," sadness and regret laced his words. "I should never have let you go, and I am sorry it took me so long to say it."

She buried her head into his tunic, the scent of the woods filling her nose. She did not cry but her body shook as he held her. She did not want to believe him, but as he held her the thoughts began to swirl in her mind. Memories of her last night with Joffrey surfaced, the way he had asked her to take the moon tea.

" _I will not allow you to give birth to his damned pups."_

A sick feeling filled her and suddenly she found herself pulling away from Robb. Her eyes grew wide as she stood and ran from the wood. She was going to be sick, and she refused to let the vomit forth in the Godswood. She could hear Robb following swiftly behind her, and she could feel Grey Wind at her heels but she focused not on them but the realization in her gut.

Once free of the dark wood she felt her body hunch forward, the contents of her stomach emptied onto the courtyard ground. She didn't want to believe her own mind, she did not. She wanted to think her thoughts were tainted by the vile lies of her husband but not once had he spoken ill of Joffrey in such a way. In fact, Robb had done very little to speak against her family in some time, and so she felt that her thoughts were her own. Were the Gods punishing her? Or was the loss of her child caused by the very man she believed to father her babe?

"Johanna, I did not mean to make you ill," her husband's voice was soft and gentle as it reached her ears over her own retching. "Here, let me take you back to our chambers," he reached for her but she shrank away.

Oh by the Seven she had laid with her brother, and she had slept away from her husband. She had done nothing to deserve the kindness of the man who had reached for her, who held a secret he knew could destroy her.

"You think my family had something to do with the loss of our child?" She asked meekly, standing up straight once her stomach was empty.

He looked at her with a stern face, but she could see the way the doubts he had changed his face. He had aged slightly in the months since her return, and she knew it must have been the cause. It pained her to know he had to keep such a thing because she had acted like a petulant child all those moons ago.

"I do not know if your family knew of their actions, but the guards admitted to me that they had done as we suspected."

"I want to speak with them," she spoke with a coldness she did not even know she had, "alone." Gone was the warmth that her voice naturally held, never had she felt so frozen.

"Love, I do not believe that is a good idea," he warned.

"I do not care, Robb," she spoke sternly, her eyes fixed on his. "I wish to speak with them, and I shall. I am not a guest here; I am the Lady of Winterfell in your mother's absence. I am your wife, not a servant you can tell no to."

She watched a slight smirk twitch on her husband's face and she could not even begin to imagine what he was thinking. But in that moment she cared not, she needed answers. She had to knows he was wrong, she had to know her brother, her lover, had not killed her child. She could forgive Joffrey for a lot of things, murder being one, but not the death of her child. To her that was unforgivable, and if it was found true she would ruin the new King of the Seven Kingdoms.


	15. Authors Note

I know I haven't posted a chapter in this story in ages but I plan to go through and edit this story. I also plan to start posting new chapters soon for all my stories. I've been having huge writers block in the way of Game Of Thrones fics but hopefully that is going to pass I go through and edit.

Sorry for all whom read these stories.


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